He says 'most women would just laugh', I think he's delusional. Settle a debate please

[TheFairSheep]

Hi all. I paid for my boyfriend to get a tattoo yesterday as a gift as he has wanted one for a while. I saw these messages earlier of a conversation he had with a friend whilst getting the tattoo. I was (I believe) rightfully disgusted and annoyed. He says it was just banter and 'lads being lads'. He apologised but added that most women in relationships would just laugh if they saw those messages and maybe be a little annoyed but I'm overreacting.

We live together and I am pregnant. Am I being unreasonable here? (His friend asked who was doing his tattoo, he sent the screenshot. I have blanked out her details for privacy).

This would worry me, especially the bit where his friend says he's lying about not getting a blow job as he knows him too well. Also why doesn't his friend know your pregnant? All sounds very immature

Grim and idiotic. Sounds like a teenager. I think it is just stupid lad talk and he needs to pack it in.

I don't really understand the exchange of messages that you posted. But if you saw that your partner said this and you told him that it was inappropriate and gross (which it is) and he came back and said "most women would laugh..." I'd assume that he's trying to gaslight you.

"Most women" is a red herring here. You're only one woman, and what you want and need matters and should matter A LOT to a long term partner. Even if he would he be totally happy if he'd paid for you to get a tattoo and you were kicking it with a girlfriend about how you'd like to have a sexual relationship with the tattoo artist, YOU are not OK with the equivalent. At the very least, he should have the respect to listen to you when you explain that it upsets you, and why.

Geez! You went even more extreme than the texts in the OP.

The equivalent to the banter is …we eye up a fit bloke, friend msgs, our server is luscious, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed…I say ha ha can I share? he’d be a real notch on the bedpost..

Or similar.
We wouldn’t cheat, it’s just a discreet way to say damn he’s a gorgeous looking man to each other.

Exactly this I’m afraid…yanbu!

@SummerFeverVenice

The equivalent to the banter is …we eye up a fit bloke, friend msgs, our server is luscious, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed…I say ha ha can I share? he’d be a real notch on the bedpost..

That's not the equivalent, because it isn't as specific.

"You're defo getting oral off him / sucking his dick / gonna shag him"

And your mate saying "I know you, you will"

And then saying your boyfriend isn't around,
Within the same chat.

That's the equivalent.

Couldn't be bothered getting upset about this, you sound quite immature OP.

Ok. But one can be happily married and not interested in anyone else and still admire and comment on the attractiveness of other men with a friend. I don’t think that is disrespectful to my husband or objectifying anyone.

Put the whole man in the bin.

Comes across as a pretty vile & gross human being. Totally your choice if you want to be with him op. I wouldn’t.

I would be more concerned about the fact my BF is friends with people who can't write and have the IQ of a garden worm.

He’s a pig. Talking about the tattooist like that, dismissing you like that and being an illiterate oaf with a bellend friend = nul points.

The poor literacy alone would put me right off.

Ok, whatevs. I still see nothing to be disgusted about. I think OP is over-reacting. I don’t agree with her bf that “most women would laugh” my reaction would be a complete meh.😑. Total nonissue that the tattoo artist was hot.

Uhhh I don't think you're understanding those texts if you think the female equivalent is I wouldn't kick him out of bed

I don’t think you understand the texts as you think the female equivalent is sucking a guys dick. The equivalent would be a male tattoo artist going down on a female customer.

And you didn’t ask me what was equivalent, you asked me what I would text. That’s what I responded with.

Gross. What a twat of a man you've chosen. Is he always this illiterate on top? Ugh.

I haven't read the whole thread, but if he didn't actually do anything with the woman then I would agree that this is just banter between mates and I would try not to think too much about it.

If the woman in question had seen this and come on to him he would probably have wet himself in fear and come running home to you.

Most men are little boys. As a man I can only apologise, but don't throw away a good boyfriend (if you think he is that) just because he acts like a big man with his friends. That's what little boys do.

The first time his dick goes anywhere it shouldn't, get rid of him.

Yeah cos that is the issue here

ffs.......

Ok so joking about full on sex is less disrespectful than a back room oral quickie?

Women really need to stop having children with subpar men, they don't need to have their genes passed on.

Can you try and raise your standards a bit op, why would you even find someone like this attractive?

Most men are little boys. As a man I can only apologise, but don't throw away a good boyfriend (if you think he is that) just because he acts like a big man with his friends. That's what little boys do.

This man is about to be a parent. Maybe he should grow the fuck up.

So you’re pregnant by Jay from The Inbetweeners?

Im sure this immature, barely literate fuckwit must have good points - he’s just hiding them very well

Okaaaayyy so it's OK to text your friends that you'd let this hot guy eat you out since your husbands not here? Really?

Yes, I understand that's not what you would text. But that's the equivalent of what the OP is asking about.

Genuinely depressing that more than one woman on this thread would accept this kind of vile nonsense from their partner.