To feel sad about comments on my hair?

[kindlypudding]

I know it's a first world problem, I know. There are people with so many issues that this seems daft, but here we are.

I have naturally very wavy hair, mixed with soft curls, that has a tendency to poof a bit. For decades I ironed it or blow dried, but in the past 2 yrs something has changed. I let it stay natural for a while during rough weather as got sick of fighting it and was absolutely shocked by how much my natural hair suited my face.
I suddenly adored it.
It took some time to repair, but started to grow and a lot of the frizz calmed down. I don't use a method, and don't wish to, but for the first time in my life I grew to love my natural texture and colour. However, by it's nature it is slightly drier and poofier than straight hair, I have the sort of hair that is very gossamer, fairytale-like, and fine, so it is a bit ethereal. This is good in some ways as it makes my face look softer, younger and nice, compared to the harsher effect of ironing it.

But since embracing it, I have had some odd comments that have left me a bit flat.
It's no one's job to lift me up, but I had honestly quit caring what anyone thought until this.
A few friends have either ignored it completely (and it is a very different look!) or asked if I should consider cutting it all off. One was surprised it was natural and asked had I had a bad perm . Another friend who I hadn't seen until recently said upon meeting me 'Awwww, we need to cheer you up and sort your hair out" (wtf)

Everywhere I go online everyone seems to want to get rid of hair like mine, so even though I have come to adore it, I am somewhat concerned that I am making an ass of myself. A few strangers out and about have actually complimented me, which really stood out!

And that's the mad bit, I really love it, I love the fluffy prettiness and how healthy it now is. It is sad that my natural texture is seen as 'unhealthy', since I don't use heat, eat a good diet and am healthy and fit.

Here is a pic of it, sadly in lamplight so doesn't show true colour (mid blonde). It is bra length and collar bone length at the front. It isn't a good pic as you can't see length or volume but it gives an idea of curl pattern and condition.

How do you get over this kind of weird attitude to your hair?

My hair is naturally curly on one side and straight on the other, nightmare! I've had many styles over the years and don't remember anyone say it looks good. I finally stopped fighting it and I've gone very short at the back and sides with all the curls on top, still no compliments but I love it, you do you and love how it makes you feel

Not that it matters but I think it’s beautiful. Delicate and wispy. I have naturally curly hair which I truly love. My late mother in law used to look at it and (once just as we were getting ready to go out to a wedding) say “Don’t you want to borrow my hairdryer? I have a hairdryer you can use. Don’t you have a brush? Are you SURE you don’t want to borrow my hairdryer?”. I’d just cheerfully say No thanks. And then think of all the things I wish I’d said, like “I like my hair, and I think it’s quite rude and hurtful for you to keep looking me up and down and making suggestions”. Maybe you could have something like that up your sleeve ready for the next unwelcome comment?! Maybe they’re envious?

I have hair similar in type to yours OP but it's shorter.
I straighten mine most days so it looks smarter, but on the days I'm out leading walks I leave it, as styling it is a zero sum game.
To be honest I'm thinking of not bothering at all with it - on damp days like today, nothing tames my hair so I know how you feel 😫

To the rude people making derogatory remarks I just try and ignore them, but it does sting a bit. Unfortunately we can't change the hair type we have.😐

Are you mad?! Your hair is fabulous! I'm in my 60s and have dead straight hair which I don't think suits me, and so in the past couple of years after washing it have been rolling it up around a dressing gown cord to give it a bit of wave - to create hair just like yours! You lucky thing.

Your hair is lovely, I've had straight hair all my life, but as I've got older there's a curl in my hair, but it's mainly underneath, so if I let it dry naturally and don't straighten it, my hair just bushes out to twice the size, I hate it.

I like a natural look and it’s great you feel happy in your own skin.

I just think previously your style was very different, your friends used to seeing you a certain way, and they have a different type of look too, so the combination.

Just tell them you are happy with your hair or ignore comments.

It’s lovely 🥰 Wish I had waves like that, mine is fine like yours only straight.

Really, OP, where do you think you've been "ripped apart"?
What comments do you think are "shitty"?
I've had a quick glance back over your thread and you've had generally lovely comments. Some (including me) have said your language was a bit flowery but I can't see anything shitty.
The shittiest comment, imo, is from you saying people who don't say things you want to hear are "pissed off" or "drunk".
No-one has said anything so unpleasant to you.

Your hair is a lovely colour, I think it would look even nicer with about 8cm’s cut off and then regular trims.

It's just...normal hair. Nothing wrong with it. Some people are just weird and rude.

All my life, hairdressers, and others, have made snide comments about my hair - thick, unruly, curly, frizzy etc. Wish I had known then how lucky I was to have such a mop of hair. Now I’m older, it has got thinner and less ‘mad’. I miss the mop.
Embrace your hair, it looks beautiful. And stick two follicles up to the bwitches. 😍

I can relate a bit to this! I’ve got extremely long, wavy blonde hair which I absolutely love- but I’ve had the odd person over the years hint it needs a good trim or tidy up. Mainly by folks with overly styled hair.

Im really not a fan of very tidy “done” hair, I just don’t think it looks as interesting. I’m a bit of a hippy chick though

Your hair looks similar to mine and I love my gorgeous hair. Yours is gorgeous too!

I think it’s nice and I wouldn’t think twice seeing someone with hair like this. I don’t mean that in a nasty way, I don’t see the need for any remarks other than it looks nice.

'Have you had a bad perm?'
'No, just a bad friend.'

My hair is very similar- but not quite as wavy. My mother spent the full 18 years before I left home trying to persuade or force me to have it cut, coloured, permed -anything but what I had. I ignored her and have always had my hair long and unstyled -many women "friends" have questioned this, but I like it, and ironically pretty much every man I have known, that has commented on it ,like it as much as I do.
Stand your ground, if you like it stick with it- just assume it's jealousy- I'm sure it was in my mother's case, not of the hair but of my certainty, I think.

I have never ever got the straightened hair look. Yes it may look polished and professional but it doesn’t suit a lot of face shapes.

i have naturally wavy hair, it will go more wavy with short layers. The tip is to get a good hair cut bit not way friends mean. Find hairdresser who can work with your hairstyle and amplify it. Also use product to give shine and curl definition.

I stopped dying as it couldn’t fight the white emerging through. Highlights and toner and softer on skin tone.

Your hair is the same curl pattern as mine. I think looks lovely. I took an embracing my curls. Maybe try styling it with a bit of soft hold mousse when it's damp as that will define the curls and your golden!. (Don't ever brush it when it's dry).

Perhaps it's just an adjustment for your friends. Their comments are odd though as I'd never say that to my friends. Ignore!!

My hair is very much like yours, OP. I usually tie it back for work so many people don’t know what it’s really like. I let mine go on holiday and sometimes I’m working from home, and then I get comments too! I love my hair and wouldn’t change it for anything. Ignore the rude comments and wear your hair as you please.

Looks great. My hair is similar, but shorter and perhaps a bit wilder. I’m a huge fan of low maintenance hair. The only part of mine I blow dry is the fringe, the rest I just scrunch with my hands.
The people making remarks about your hair are perhaps a bit envious that yours looks good without a lot of fussing?

I have slightly mad natural hair and in my 40’s I have given up trying to tame it as much. It’s really heavy, dry, wiry and wavy and also ends up huge and poofy. I get so many compliments about my hair if I straighten it which leads me to believe it looks awful when I don’t 😂

I never blow dry it and rarely straighten it - even if I do straighten it, it’s all kinked again in an hour

Low maintenance hair is so much less hassle. Crack on OP it looks good

I have curly hair and I love it. I have never thought about straightening it. I use the curlygirl method and it's so easy to look after.
I've never had strangers stopping me in the street to tell me how gorgeous my hair is though 😂

@Kashmiri24 , that's because yours isn't candyfloss fairytale gossamer hair innit.

@UpMyself -I love your user name! 😂