To feel sad about comments on my hair?

[kindlypudding]

I know it's a first world problem, I know. There are people with so many issues that this seems daft, but here we are.

I have naturally very wavy hair, mixed with soft curls, that has a tendency to poof a bit. For decades I ironed it or blow dried, but in the past 2 yrs something has changed. I let it stay natural for a while during rough weather as got sick of fighting it and was absolutely shocked by how much my natural hair suited my face.
I suddenly adored it.
It took some time to repair, but started to grow and a lot of the frizz calmed down. I don't use a method, and don't wish to, but for the first time in my life I grew to love my natural texture and colour. However, by it's nature it is slightly drier and poofier than straight hair, I have the sort of hair that is very gossamer, fairytale-like, and fine, so it is a bit ethereal. This is good in some ways as it makes my face look softer, younger and nice, compared to the harsher effect of ironing it.

But since embracing it, I have had some odd comments that have left me a bit flat.
It's no one's job to lift me up, but I had honestly quit caring what anyone thought until this.
A few friends have either ignored it completely (and it is a very different look!) or asked if I should consider cutting it all off. One was surprised it was natural and asked had I had a bad perm . Another friend who I hadn't seen until recently said upon meeting me 'Awwww, we need to cheer you up and sort your hair out" (wtf)

Everywhere I go online everyone seems to want to get rid of hair like mine, so even though I have come to adore it, I am somewhat concerned that I am making an ass of myself. A few strangers out and about have actually complimented me, which really stood out!

And that's the mad bit, I really love it, I love the fluffy prettiness and how healthy it now is. It is sad that my natural texture is seen as 'unhealthy', since I don't use heat, eat a good diet and am healthy and fit.

Here is a pic of it, sadly in lamplight so doesn't show true colour (mid blonde). It is bra length and collar bone length at the front. It isn't a good pic as you can't see length or volume but it gives an idea of curl pattern and condition.

How do you get over this kind of weird attitude to your hair?

If you like it as it is OP, tell people who make rude comments to butt out, and mind their own business, or embarrass them by saying 'well I like it like this, so it's really nothing to do with you, is it?'

I think it’s romantic and beautiful 😍

From reading your post I was expecting to have to say something diplomatic but your hair looks beautiful.

I think it looks lovely and if you like it then sod anyone else.

I let my hair grow long and stopped dying my hair when i hit 50 so it’s now long and silver/grey.
I’ve had comments like
“oh I couldn’t let my colour grow out I’d feel so old with grey hair”
I love it myself
You do you and be proud of it. It’s really pretty.

I like it!

Maybe the people who make rude comments are reflecting how they feel about their hair. You could say, "Well, I actually love my hair, it's in great condition and I love the colour of it. But, I can see your hair could do with some attention. If you ask around maybe someone could recommend a good hairdresser for you!"
Say it nicely with a smile on your face then walk away to let them think about it!

If you are happy, that is all that matters. Regular trims will keep the ends neat.

I thought, reading your description- very wavy hair, natural texture and colour, fairy-tale like, I was expecting you to have a 4a, afro style curls, not a 2 A wave!

If people say things, just say 'Its my natural hair and isn't it lovely?'

Thanks!
The 'diplomatic' comment tickled me

Funny thing is when it was ironed, it never looked straight, just flat. It had no weight or shine since my hair is not naturally inclined. I've come to love that characteristic now, as it is slightly different, but no matter how confident I have become those comments do get at you.

I had some old clothes that never suited me and after going natural they came alive and looked great. Perhaps no one else can see it, or I am severely deluded, lol.

In a fit of pique I straightened it last week then immediately felt like I had taken a crap in my own front garden.

It looks lovely OP.
My natural hair looks like candy floss 😂

It looks gorgeous, OP. I think it's just that it takes people time to adjust to change. Also, because you'd been doing stuff to it before, they assumed you didn't like your natural look.

It’s your hair. If you like it, it’s great. It’s no one else’s business.

I got a lot of pushback when I grew my colour out and stayed grey. I love it and it’s so healthy compared to before. But “if you put a colour on it would take 10 years of you.” Nah, mate, I’m fine.

I spend a lot of money to look like a natural blonde. And I plait my hair every night to look like yours!

So I love it!

I know exactly what you mean, OP! I have neither wavy nor straight hair, but since pregnancy I’ve been scrunching it. Varying degrees of success but the method I follow promotes healthy hair with no silicones or excessive heat.
I’ve recently had it cut short and can’t scrunch it any more as my waves start further down my hair, so I’m back to straightening it.
Everyone is SO enthusiastic about it because it’s straight and telling me how much it suits me. I’ve never had such compliments about my wavy hair (except from my husband!) I do feel like curly/wavy hair is seen as messy or unprofessional.
I think your hair looks awesome and people making negative comments are bloody rude!

Your friends are all shit

They are being rude! If you are happy with your hair who gives a shit what they think.

It's lovely! Princess hair I call it.

Ive got sick of the idea that just leaving our hair in its natural style isn't enough.

I find its more women over a certain age prone to this, my own mother i think associates having very "done" hair as a sign of having the money and time for this but also that it shows your choice to spend both money & time on appearance (which she values).

So she's the sort of person to spend hours carefully straightening wavy hair, or spend £££ perming straight hair

I do less and less with my hair other than trimming it and brushing it, and am happier and happier with it.

To be honest, it sounds to me like you're happy in your own skin now. You like your hair and you like the clothes you wear. You sound more confident with yourself. Good for you. Keep it up.

Yes this is my hair too! It also makes me sad when people make suggestions to 'fix' my hair 🫤

You have gorgeous, shiny waves. I think anyone commenting negatively is extremely rude.

Oh and op I'm the same. If i blow dry and straighten mine i get (mainly women) telling me how much better it is even though it a) damages it and b) looks limp

The funny thing is the first time i wore it curly they thought id had it done professionally and were very complimentary. The compliments ceased when they realised that's how my hair looks when i fall out of the shower and do nothing whatsoever with it.

What age are you

It looks lovely. From someone who has straight hair that people ask me which straighteners I use and I don't. I wish mine had some body like yours.

I'm not sure what there is to dislike about it!
My natural hair is very similar but black.

I rarely do anything to it aside from the occasional crimping.

It's lovely, OP.

It's lovely, ignore anyone who says otherwise.

People are so weird about curly hair!? I have extremely curly hair, some days I get things right and the curls look great, other days I'm a walking ball of fuzz.
But regardless of how great/awful the curls look, I get little to no compliments on it. Lots of compliments if I straighten it.
I always get asked, "is that your natural hair?" Usually the next question is "Do you ever straighten it? You should".🙄 I straightened it for years til my hair started falling ou. I'm trying to embrace my natural self now like you op!

And while I'm not God's gift to men by any stretch of the imagination, I am invisible to them when my hair is curly. I get male attention when its straight. It's so fucked up.