Party bag gate part 2 - enter DH stage left

[JandamiHash]

Original thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5252894-child-didnt-get-a-party-bag?page=40&reply=141398805

To all the baked potato loving legends out there who followed my original thread, I couldn’t resist sharing what I think is a rather funny update.

So I’ve been away for a work conference today and didn’t check my phone til 2pm. Amanda had called me again! And messaged to say “Jandami can you call me please when you get the chance so I can find out what to ask this magician?”

I assume she means she wants to find out if I’ll pay for a party bag. So I messaged DH (who is fully invested in the drama) laughing about it. I didn’t reply to her as had to go back in the conference (and still haven’t replied only just got home).

Anyway at pick up, DH was standing in the playground waiting for DS and Amanda sidled up to him and said “Excuse me Neil? Is your wife’s phone broken?” (emphasis on the ‘is’ apparently). He just looked at her, said “No” and walked off to wait at the other side of the playground 😂 the best bit is - his name is not Neil!

I can only assume she’s either micro dosing with hallucinogenics or is genuinely mad. Nobody normal behaves this way.

PS jacket potato with pancetta, cheese, soured cream and chives tonight 🤤

Yours is exactly the same 'mean girls' behaviour that you are accusing OP of doing, rallying other posters for a mocking pile on.

OP has said that her family have had a really difficult year as her son has a chronic illness that causes his significant pain and hospital admissions so this party was important to her. She has also said that she feels intimidated by Amanda who seems to have the hide of a rhino.

People are making up imaginary scenarios to absolve Amanda from any blame or responsibility for her son not getting a party bag, but ignoring the very real scenario of OP's son's illness and the fact that her son wasn't even invited to James's party.

Have some compassion and stop being meeeean.

The baked potato stuff started early on thread one and escalated into this thing some of us call fun. Do beg your pardon for sharing recipes 🤣

And what’s wrong with insisting on an RSVP for a party? Genuinely - or are you just a CF who shows up on a whim?

Who has been cruel to children?

That's because we're all the same person obviously. We I spent years building up these accounts just so we I can disagree with you.

As I am replying to your wise ‘life lessons’ post will you promise to RSVP me back? (Pretty Please with Good Manners too) 🙏 I’ll give you a Greggs Vegan Steak Bite if you do (can’t promise to magic up a personalised party bag though…or an evil meat-filled spud)

You do seem to enjoy being controversial on lots of threads.

You love being controversial and obviously get a kick out of it. If that's what you need in life carry on

Yep I'm not scared to have a different opinion to the masses.

It’s more needless and consistent needling of others than a different opiniom.

Or is it that you’re too scared to not stand out in the masses?

That's because I'm not a sheep. If I don't agree with something I will say so. That's the whole point of AIBU. If you don't want opinions, don't ask.

A lot of posters also missed out on the discussion of snow suits in thread 1

Its not really a difference of opinion you're just needling other for seemingly your own enjoyment

As I said not difference of opinion needling for the sake of it.

“I’m not a sheep” IME is the same category of person who says “I just say it like it is” - ie an excuse for being unpleasant

I don’t actually think you’re sick puppeting I just think it’s strange that so many posters have convened with the same minority mindset so early on a Saturday

Yes, and this poor, deprived child will forever be in therapy and traumatised by the mere mention of Paul Daniel’s after the terrible actions of the OP and her vegan pizza. We should ALL be sending party bags to him!!

When I reply to people tagging me?

I feel like the frostbite party in the park hasn’t nearly been discussed enough 🤣

And yet you mock OP who is also trying not to be a sheep.

I think you know that if this was genuinely cruel to the child, the other mum would have sorted out a party bag for her son days ago.

Maybe it’s those of us in the trenches? I was up at 6am tending to two babies and a kitten.

Were you tagged to join this second thread?

@JandamiHash - I think she is going to approach you on Monday because of two things - first - you didn't answer your phone to her and second your DH did the drop off and collecting.
She probably thinks that you're running scared since her text message as a result. We know that this isn't the case but she doesn't.

I hope that I'm wrong and she lets the matter drop at this point but I feel she may have a bee in her bonnet about this and won't let it go.

I can’t believe this thread is still going.

OP is clearly not unreasonable. The only possible thing I would have had her change in this thread is calling the mum ‘Amanda’. If she’d said Amanda without the Motherland reference she’d have got away with it. But this has given more ammunition for the hard done by posters.

The mum is a CF for not RSVPing.

Would she really have expected to rock up to a theatre, for example, and expected the OP to have booked seats for everyone? Obviously not.

My kids have been to parties where extras could not have been accommodated. A certain number in a tank, or a particular number of zorbies.

If I’d have sent invitations for a party and no one accepted the RSVP, then the party would have been cancelled.

Do people just turn up to a wedding and expect the seating plan to accommodate them, even if they haven’t accepted the wedding invitation? No, obviously not. Any party invitation is no different.

Well done, OP for being so kind to order a vegan pizza especially so that poor child wasn’t left out. You would hope the mother would have learned a lesson from her idleness but clearly not.

Everyone has busy lives and trying to find an excuse for why she couldn’t be bothered to RSVP but has plenty of time to complain after the event about the party bag, shows why this situation is happening more frequently.

I demand kitten pictures immediately! Stupid NotNeil and DD are both allergic so I can never have one 😭 have considered chucking out NotNeil and getting a kitten but I draw the line (just) at DD

A PP said if she does to say “Oh are we STILL on this?” Which will be my approach!