Altercation over a changing cubicle

[AngeloMysterioso]

At swimming lesson with 5yo DS. He comes out of the pool, has a quick rinse under the shower, then I meet him, wrap his towel round him and we head to the nearest unlocked cubicle to get him changed. He goes in and starts undressing, I turn and shut the door, hang bags on pegs, start digging out DS’s dry clothes, carrier bag for wet stuff etc.

Then I turn round and realise someone’s left their fleece onesie thing and a few other bits on the bench. DS is already undressed at this point and the next lot of lessons has started so for all I know that stuff will be sitting there for the next half an hour. So I carry on getting DS changed which takes 5 minutes at the absolute most.

We come out of the cubicle, face to face with a very angry woman and her maybe 8 or 9 year old daughter, who starts ranting at me about how she’d left her kid’s stuff in there and she’s been getting cold, etc. I explained that I didn’t see it until my son was already undressed, and you don’t get to just dump your stuff in a cubicle and that means it’s reserved for you.

There’s a few minutes back and forth with her effing and blinding at me, in spite of me asking several times not to swear in front of my (and her) child. I ended up saying I wouldn’t apologise because I didn’t do anything wrong and turning my back to her and drying DS’s hair, while she continues calling me a bitch and saying I’m everything that’s wrong with people.

So… was I BU, or was she?

If there aren't enough cubicles, then some of them will have to be used by two kids in succession; leaving stuff in them just makes it harder for that to happen. My DD was so quick out of swimming (on one occasion she hadn't even unrolled the towel - just put her clothes on still wet!) that she would probably have been able to change in the time that your child was showering.

@Iloveyoubut I love your response!

This thread reminds me of why I don't swim anymore. I hate public pools. I hate having to fight for space, and the general air of grubbiness. Just reading this thread leaves me feeling, cold, damp and smelling of Chlorine.

I am on the hunt for a friend with a private pool.

But what about all the other people, who are ready to use the cubicle, but hanging around, waiting for you and your kids to finally turn up and use the space properly? Why does everyone else have to be „”juggling dc and bags and towels etc and the wet floor”, to quote you, but you don’t have to? What makes you and your kids more important than my kid, in this instance?

You do realise that everyone else there is most likely also having the exact same nightmare too, juggling dc and bags and towels etc…but you are making it worse for everyone by trying to hog the changing cubicle before you’ve even collected your child! You clearly don’t want to be waiting for a cubicle yourself, but are trying to force others to wait even longer until you are ready to use it - yep, makes “perfect sense” doesn’t it (if you have zero consideration for orhers that is)!

Op wasn't unreasonable she has already stated she didn't see her stuff. To the op it was an empty cubicle until she noticed CF stuff. Anyway, the next time I take my child swimming and some CF leaves their stuff, I am throwing it over the door. Leaving your stuff in an unoccupied cubicle does not give you ownership to that cubicle. It's for public use HTH.

If this is how people feel then I am putting their stuff in the bin. I have 4 children, I don't throw my weight around a changing room. I wouldn't take up a cubicle if I am not using it. It's inconsiderate and selfish to make children wait because your stuff is in there.

I don't think I'm anymore important than anyone

Loads of people pop their things into the cubicle before grabbing their kids

You don't know someone's personal circumstances, how many kids they're juggling, if they have difficulties

Putting your things into the cubicle and picking up your kid is common sense and happens all the time

Hopefully this thread can educate a few CF's on how unreasonable it is to reserve cubicles. I don't use the cubicles because I can't be bothered with the hassle having had a few run ins, the local pools all have communal areas thank goodness. Reserving reduces the availability for others and is selfish.

Putting someone's personal belongings into the bin is very much throwing your weight around but okay

Assuming that the changing cubicles are full, which the op doesn't state that they were, you'd have to wait if they were inside, or popped to the locker or had left something by the pool

This is no different imo

You seem to think you are important. All your carrying is a small bag of clothes it's not difficult.

I'm ignorant I can't stand CF

She was being unreasonable.

Sometimes you meet people who just seem to be stampeding through life, determined to hate it as much as possible. Every tiny thing has to be worthy of a huge blow-up.
I just tell myself she probably had a difficult upbringing and doesn't have a lot of support.

A sensible person would have just knocked on the door, and called out briskly, "Sorry, my child's fleece is in there. Would you mind quickly passing it to me?"

Her poor child.

No it’s incredibly selfish.

Use a locker like everyone else.

Actually shocked at how many people think its okay to "reserve" a cubicle whilst they go off and help their kid shower etc. Talk about entitlement!!

Cubicles are reserved by people being in them, not clothes. And if you can't figure out how to shower a child and then go to a cubicle with belongings in hand, well, that's just bonkers!

what the other parent did in this case is awful no doubt, but I do think the debate can you reserve a changing room with your stuff hugely depends on your local pool and how many changing rooms it's has, my local pool is Olympic sized, the building itself it's rather massive and it has between 100-150 changing rooms and additional 4 large family ones and 2 disabled ones. In that case leaving your stuff shouldn't be a problem, I don't do it, but if I walked into a room and there was stuff there id just go to the next one.

However, in a complex where there's like 5-10 changing rooms, no you can't reserve one, that's so selfish.

I wasn't calling you ignorant

And yet your needs clearly will always trump every body else’s. You are willing to let other people hang around for you and your kids, because you don’t want to use a locker and cannot consider the possibility that everyone else, at the changing room, have the same exact needs as you and your children have - that is, to get changed as quick as possible and leave the leisure centre.

What if someone left something at the pool? Or had one kid run out of the changing room, which has happened to me with dd and I had to chase her, leaving the cubicle with our stuff in for a few mins

At some point you will find yourself in a situation where you have to leave your things in a changing room for a brief moment - it's common sense and good grace to just leave someone to it

Especially when there are other cubicles available

Hang around?? The op didn't say that there were no cubicles left do no-one was left hanging

There are lots of cubicles in my swimming pool - if I see someone's stuff in one, I just find another one

This isnt a case of entitlement imo, just common sense

You just say I’m terribly sorry I didn’t see your stuff and get on with your day.
homestly. People

No, I'm juggling dd's shoes, bath towel, bag, coat, water bottle and my stuff - which would all get wet as we have to walk past the showers to collect them and then return to the cubicle

And I've only got the one child, can't imagine the stress of managing several

Life's hard enough, no need to mske it needlessly harder

Nobody finds the wet child, towel and bag super easy. That's exactly why we have the rule that you only block the cubicle when you're using it.

We use a waterproof backpack with a few sections as a swim bag, so dry stuff gets packed in the bottom and wet stuff in the top with soap. Hat and goggles go straight in as soap comes out to wash, trunks in if the shower is private. Towel out of the dry section and off to get changed, clothes and moisturise. We get a specific bus every week, so I know our timing is 6-8 minutes: 1 min walk to the shower, 1-2 min shower, 3 min dry/ dressed, 1-2 min for shoes and coats by the doors. We hustle a bit faster if we queued for the shower or if someone's waiting for the shower (unusual). I would not be waiting around for 5 min and then missing the bus just because some numpty can't figure out how to hold a towel and backpack for their kid.

Okay we're never gonna agree but I stand by my opinion

Plus, again, the op had the ability to choose another cubicle, so no-one was stood around. Every swimming baths I've encountered has been this way. It's really no big deal to just find another cubicle

@mumofoneAlonebutokay - as long as you're happy that sometimes your stuff will get locked in, fall on the floor or whatever, it's all entirely your choice.