Altercation over a changing cubicle

[AngeloMysterioso]

At swimming lesson with 5yo DS. He comes out of the pool, has a quick rinse under the shower, then I meet him, wrap his towel round him and we head to the nearest unlocked cubicle to get him changed. He goes in and starts undressing, I turn and shut the door, hang bags on pegs, start digging out DS’s dry clothes, carrier bag for wet stuff etc.

Then I turn round and realise someone’s left their fleece onesie thing and a few other bits on the bench. DS is already undressed at this point and the next lot of lessons has started so for all I know that stuff will be sitting there for the next half an hour. So I carry on getting DS changed which takes 5 minutes at the absolute most.

We come out of the cubicle, face to face with a very angry woman and her maybe 8 or 9 year old daughter, who starts ranting at me about how she’d left her kid’s stuff in there and she’s been getting cold, etc. I explained that I didn’t see it until my son was already undressed, and you don’t get to just dump your stuff in a cubicle and that means it’s reserved for you.

There’s a few minutes back and forth with her effing and blinding at me, in spite of me asking several times not to swear in front of my (and her) child. I ended up saying I wouldn’t apologise because I didn’t do anything wrong and turning my back to her and drying DS’s hair, while she continues calling me a bitch and saying I’m everything that’s wrong with people.

So… was I BU, or was she?

Wet shorts and t shirt off, quick rub down with the towel, pants, vest, t-shirt, joggers, jumper on. Wet stuff in carrier bag, bags off peg, exit cubicle. It's not that hard...

No you don’t reserve a cubical, our centre collects it in a black bin liner if the catch you.

I have just moved someone’s bag once out the cubical as they tried to get one of the bigger ones. You aren’t to know if they leave it 5 mins or 30 mins. Hopefully she’s learnt her lesson and won’t do it again.

Assuming you’d have a towel with you. When you did notice you could have moved wrapping him in the towel?

Why would she lie? If she saw them and used the cubicle anyway she's still NBU. There was no one using it.

Really? I put my kid's stuff in a locker, and just take his towel to fetch him. Then I get the rest of his stuff when he's in the cubicle, drying himself. Of is I'm not using a locker, his stuff is in a bag so no big deal to carry. If everyone reserves a locker for longer than they need it then it reduces throughout so more lockers are needed or people have to queue.

You're not allowed to leave things in the cubicles around here. Interesting to hear the excuses of those trying to defend such a selfish act

YANBU.

I bet she is the sort to put her towel on the sun bed on holiday and leave it there too.

Did not warrant such abuse either.

Next time I find someone's stuff in a cubicle, I'll sit on it!

When I noticed I'd already hung up our bag, got out DS's dry clothes, got out a carrier bag and hung that up ready to put the wet stuff in.

You’ve done nothing wrong. Nobody can reserve a cubical.

Well clearly there was someone using it, since their stuff was there. Maybe they were halfway through getting dry and a child was suddenly desperate for the loo? Maybe their child was in the shower and called for a bit of help? Maybe they were a dick who had 'reserved' a changing room. I don't know if the stuff was left for for thirty seconds or thirty minutes, but I do know that there's no chance neither OP or her child spotted someone else's stuff in the changing room they were standing in!

Cubicles aren’t bookable, if I find stuff in one when I’m taking ours swimming I put it on the bench outside, or hang it on the door/wall so it isn’t in our way. If members of staff find if they take it straight to lost property.

Why didn't she just knock on the door and ask for her stuff like a normal person? Christ people are socially inept.

email the pool and tell them about being shouted at by a user and ask them to consider either they need to build more cubicles or put posters up telling people their stuff will be removed if they leave it unattended in cubicles

Erm ...I would never go in a cubicle with someone else's stuff and keep them potentially wet and naked and vulnerable...

I am kind of with sweary woman. I cannot physically wash my kids after the pool while holding all their swimbags, towels and stuff (goggles, caps). Nor can most mums imho unless you’re an octopus with eight arms and sucker feet.

At my pool, the usual practice is to put all this except for shower towels in a cubicle on the way to the shower. This reserves the cubicle for the 5mins you are washing the kids. You then go back, to dry off and change.

I wouldn’t have started swearing at you, but your attitude would have got my back up if I’m being honest. You don’t just go into a cubicle that has someone’s stuff in there and use it. You at least call out and check round to see who’s stuff that is and if they mind you doing a superman quick change in there.

Oh for goodness sake, it's a swimming pool cubicle, if it's anything like the leisure centre changing rooms by me there are loads. Leaving stuff in there for 5 mins whilst you get your child is not selfish. If there were limited changing rooms I'd get it but people are being batshit about this.

Apparently it's easier for everyone if you wait outside and then have a foul mouthed rant at a stranger in front of children. But I'm the one setting a bad example...

You know the cubicles are quite small very often, don’t you?

You have a small wet child wrapped in a towel, you’re trying to dry them and find their clothes and stop them dropping everything on the floor.

Yes you wouldn’t necessarily see anyone else’s stuff on the bench

She wasn't naked, she was in her swimming stuff with a hoody towel thing over the top

YANBU.

You can't leave stuff in a cubicle! I would have put it in an open locker and denied all knowledge of it!

I also would have reported the parent to staff for being abusive. The woman was absolutely out of order.

You could do one of those passive but naming and shaming Facebook posts!

"To the parent who had left their kids onesie in a cubicle to reserve the cubicle - I genuinely did not see the onesie until I was half way through getting my child changed so I apologise that you had to wait a few minutes. If you had knocked on the door I could have passed it out to you. What was not acceptable was the verbal abuse and your foul language that you used in front of children in the changing room. Absolutely not acceptable and a total over-reaction to what was an innocent mistake. As clothing is not supposed to be left in cubicles I didn't look for any."

Unless you are physically in a cubicle then it's up for grabs in my opinion. She can't just dump her stuff to reserve one and then disappear to get her child and you're totally right about the option to knock and ask for things to be passed out.
The whole situation is entirely her fault. It is a shame you had to listen to her ranting and raving ..don't let this ridiculous encounter with what sounds like a completely unhinged and entitled person take any more of your headspace or peace. You most certainly were not being unreasonable.

There are posters up at our leisure centre asking people not to leave items in cubicles to reserve them whilst they're in the pool. She knows she's being an arse!

I would instantly notice if a cubicle had a pubic hair in it never mind stranger towels and bag and I have three of the little lambs to shepherd from the pool.

It's more impolite to tie up a cubicle that other people need.

Why should someone else stand around shivering whilst your children shower?

Holding a cubicle delays everyone. It's selfish and entitled.