Altercation over a changing cubicle

[AngeloMysterioso]

At swimming lesson with 5yo DS. He comes out of the pool, has a quick rinse under the shower, then I meet him, wrap his towel round him and we head to the nearest unlocked cubicle to get him changed. He goes in and starts undressing, I turn and shut the door, hang bags on pegs, start digging out DS’s dry clothes, carrier bag for wet stuff etc.

Then I turn round and realise someone’s left their fleece onesie thing and a few other bits on the bench. DS is already undressed at this point and the next lot of lessons has started so for all I know that stuff will be sitting there for the next half an hour. So I carry on getting DS changed which takes 5 minutes at the absolute most.

We come out of the cubicle, face to face with a very angry woman and her maybe 8 or 9 year old daughter, who starts ranting at me about how she’d left her kid’s stuff in there and she’s been getting cold, etc. I explained that I didn’t see it until my son was already undressed, and you don’t get to just dump your stuff in a cubicle and that means it’s reserved for you.

There’s a few minutes back and forth with her effing and blinding at me, in spite of me asking several times not to swear in front of my (and her) child. I ended up saying I wouldn’t apologise because I didn’t do anything wrong and turning my back to her and drying DS’s hair, while she continues calling me a bitch and saying I’m everything that’s wrong with people.

So… was I BU, or was she?

Are you suggesting that you'd knock someone's stuff onto the floor? Yavu if so, no need for all that just because you don't like someone's choice to pop out of the cubicle.

When my sons doing his lessons, I leave his stuff in the locker, meet him with a towel pool side, wrap him in it take him to a cubicle opposite it at least near the locker sit him down an go and get the bag. No need to reserve 🙄

Anybody who reserves a cubicle is a twat

quite happy to make other people wait as long as there ok

OP YANBU and I completely agree with this poster I’ve quoted.

At my local pool, most people get their stuff from the locker, THEN look for a cubicle.

One time, I saw a lonely pair of goggles on the cubicle bench with no one to be seen anywhere. Then after few minutes, some woman knocks on the door saying she’d reserved that cubicle, so I handed her goggles back to her under the door! She didn’t say a word.

I think my pet hate in life, is selfish and entitled behaviour, which unfortunately seems to be becoming more commonplace.

And also if her kids standing there cold if you won't knock and ask for your things just take your kid back to the shower to keep warm while you wait

YANBU and people reserving cubicles makes me want to leave the country.

This.

And I’d add to that; people who drive large cars, eg Range Rovers, and park over two spaces. It makes me want to key their car tbh. Not that I would.

@cadburyegg, at my local David Lloyd boys of 8+ are expected to use the male locker room. All very well when I took 2 x Gdds, Gds (8) and dh (on a guest pass) but not sure I’d have liked Gds to go on his own.

No, I'm saying that's the risk you run if you leave your stuff lying around in a place where other kids will be getting changed. If you don't like the risk, it's up to you to use a locker.

A sensible person knocks on the door, explains they have left their child's things there and asks for you to pass them out.

You can't reserve a cubicle.

Even if you were wrong, swearing and ranting would not be ok.

Not sure why people get so bloody heated in swimming pool changing rooms but I saw some absolute craziness when my children were young. Glad those days are behind me!

Not in the least. You can't 'reserve' a cubicle. Changing facilities do not operate on that basis.

If they're not currently occupied then they are available for use.

Yet we weren’t talking about that scenario we were talking about hogging a changing room whilst showering.

If I’d left something by the pool I’d use common sense and collect it one we were done.

Using whataboutery to justify selfishness doesn’t make the behaviour less selfish.

I'm not shocked.

'Me first and to hell with everyone else' is an increasingly common maxim and seems to have grown even worse since the pandemic.

Can’t believe some of the replies on here! Of course you’re totally right. You can’t just ‘book’ a cubicle by dumping stuff in it.

I had a very similar thing with dd years ago, also with a ranting woman.

It’s also a v stupid thing to do as someone could nick their stuff or staff could put it in lost property.

YANBU

This happened to me years ago except I moved the stuff outside the room as I knew it belonged to one of the little shits who did swimming lessons who would be there for the next 45 minutes.

however one of the coaches saw and started screaming at me in the area.

i complained to the desk but they took the side of the class saying they had an unwritten agreement they could reserve rooms.

entitled little milngavie pricks

So annoying when people do this even if their kids are having 'a quick rince'...surprise surprise everyone needs to get changed after swimming lessons. Person who's rinced first gets first dibs in my view not people who have reserved them as thats selfish. Really annoys me too!

This is what she said yes!

I honestly can't get over people saying what a nightmare it is with wet kids and bags etc... as a single mum I've taken kids swimming by myself several times and the bag stuff really isn't that difficult?! Leave in locker whilst swimming, remove from locker when done swimming, then find a cubicle. I must be missing something!

Totally agree. I do this solo with two kids one with Sen and I still manage. It’s not that hard. There are only 6 family changing rooms where I am so I’d be really irritated if someone was hogging one whilst in the shower.

You can't reserve cubicles

Dump their stuff on a bench, that's what I do

You are right, I don’t know your circumstances. I don’t know whether you are planning to be back in 5 mins when you’ve collected your child, 10-15 mins when you’ve collected your child and taken them for a shower, or more than 30 mins when you’ve dropped your kid off for their lesson, waited for the lesson to be over, taken them for a shower, and then finally wandered back over to your “reserved” cubicle (and yes I have seen people do this, because I have followed them out of the changing area and up to the viewing area, and seen them still sitting up there when I go back down to pick up my child).

Why the fuck should I and other parents stand outside 6 completely empty cubicles for 45 mins with shivering cold wet children, while the “reservers” have wandered off to the cafe with no plans to return any time soon?

You should have popped your head out immediately and waited to see who came back for the stuff. That would have been the decent thing to do. You were unreasonable I’m afraid - but you weren’t in ‘the wrong’ as such. There’s no written rule saying you have to he considerate. Other mum shouldn’t have demanded an apology. One would have been nice tho.

I have this issue on a weekly basis and it drives me MAD! People dump their stuff in the family changing rooms even though there’s signs everywhere saying don’t so I just take my kids in then have people hammering on the door shouting abuse which is horrid but my kids are standing shivering and I have 3 small kids so we physically don’t fit into the individual cubicles. We have often also waited for the family cubicles to come free and then I get so annoyed when someone comes out with just 1 child as they could easily fit in the normal cubicles either them.

Should have nutted her

people should not leave unattended clothing in cubicles. Entitlement at its worst. The female showed her true character by repeatedly swearing in front of children.