Altercation over a changing cubicle

[AngeloMysterioso]

At swimming lesson with 5yo DS. He comes out of the pool, has a quick rinse under the shower, then I meet him, wrap his towel round him and we head to the nearest unlocked cubicle to get him changed. He goes in and starts undressing, I turn and shut the door, hang bags on pegs, start digging out DS’s dry clothes, carrier bag for wet stuff etc.

Then I turn round and realise someone’s left their fleece onesie thing and a few other bits on the bench. DS is already undressed at this point and the next lot of lessons has started so for all I know that stuff will be sitting there for the next half an hour. So I carry on getting DS changed which takes 5 minutes at the absolute most.

We come out of the cubicle, face to face with a very angry woman and her maybe 8 or 9 year old daughter, who starts ranting at me about how she’d left her kid’s stuff in there and she’s been getting cold, etc. I explained that I didn’t see it until my son was already undressed, and you don’t get to just dump your stuff in a cubicle and that means it’s reserved for you.

There’s a few minutes back and forth with her effing and blinding at me, in spite of me asking several times not to swear in front of my (and her) child. I ended up saying I wouldn’t apologise because I didn’t do anything wrong and turning my back to her and drying DS’s hair, while she continues calling me a bitch and saying I’m everything that’s wrong with people.

So… was I BU, or was she?

Bizarre to ask the question AIBU? And then argue with anyone gives the answer you dont agree with?

@AngeloMysterioso while you should have noticed, her reaction was out of order. Besides, once you’re out your stuff either goes with, or goes in a locker. I’ve noticed this at Aquafit recently - people leave their stuff in a cubicle for 45 mins so none are free!

So by reserving a cubicle with your stuff, even though you are not using it, aren’t you teaching your kids that it’s ok to be entitled, in this way?

Not the kind of person who swears at strangers in front of their 5 year old children 🙂

When I used to take my kids swimming there wasn’t enough cubicles so you did have to put your stuff in one to reserve it while your kid showered

probably the reason why there’s not enough cubicles.

I don't think OP meant "AIBU"? I think she meant "Everyone join in with me slating how awful this woman was" 😂

Well, I mean if you think it’s perfectly acceptable to eff and blind at other Mums in a leisure centre in front of their children and yours, then I guess I can imagine what kind of person you are… I’m quite fine with being someone who doesn’t think it’s ok.

That woman was in the wrong, and very clearly she was being awful as a result of her verbally abusive and threatening behaviour. You can’t „”reserve” cubicles with your stuff if you are not actually using them. It’s selfish and inconsiderate.

It’s so annoying when people reserve cubicles. Especially the few ones with baby changing areas. Changing a baby in a regular one is so awkward. I also believe you can be focused on your child and the task of changing them that you don’t see some items in a cubicle.

I get usually the kids ready in a cubicle and then move all the stuff into a locker. When they are showering up after their lessons, I place their clothes and bags in a cubicle. I just like to be organised as my kids have ASD and ADHD. I would have moved cubicle if I found clothes in there! You were wrong!! I would be pissed off too! Not swearing but using child friendly names!

Shower child
Wrap in towel
Recover clothes etc from locker on way to find free cubicle
Locate free cubicle (or wait for one) and then get dressed

You put it in a locker. Thats literally what they are provided for - for you to put your stuff in while you are doing other things.

If you think its so clear cut why ask the question to an online forum?

But how do you tell the difference? You can't ask the clothes if they've just popped in or if they've been hanging there for nearly an hour.

But that’s not “being organised”. Any more than keeping your stuff with you or in a locker until you’re ready to use it is being disorganised. You should keep it in the locker until you’re ready to use it. Otherwise other people who actually ARE ready are waiting around for a cubicle while you’ve got your stuff in one you aren’t using. My son has ASD and we manage this way.

YANBU this really annoys me at our pool also. No one should be reserving a cubicle not even for 2 minutes. Sometimes you have to walk right in to the cubicle before you see the stuff on the bench and it becomes time consuming to check every cubicle! Our changing rooms are quite dark too so I can understand you not seeing the clothes.

JoanCollinsDiva · Today 20:52

What are you supposed to do with all yours and your kids stuff whilst you're showering your dc's unless you put it in a cubicle.

There are these little cupboards called "lockers." They've been around for at least a hundred years. They are coin operated. Normal people plan ahead and get a coin. Then, they put their clothes in a locker. Then they put the coin in the lock. Then they lock the door of the locker.

Next, they close the locker door, turn the key to lock the door and leave. Hopefully, they don't lose the key.

When theyve finished in the pool, they unlock the locker. They take their (unstolen) belongings from the locker. They take their belongings to a cubicle, then get dried and dressed.

Normal, reasonable people don't hog a locker, because they're too lazy / tight to get a coin beforehand.

This happened all the time at the pool we used when DD did lessons. i always just picked it up and put it in the nearest empty locker, you can't reserve a cubicle, it's selfish to prevent other people who need to use it from doing so when you aren't actually using it.

Yes, selfish, lazy and arrogant.

You should put the stuff back in the locker until you're actually ready to use a cubicle.

She was, she sounds awful. Well done for not apologising, I'm sure she usually bullies people into it.

I'm not sure what the need is for cubicles for 5 year old children.

Just get changed in the changing room!

Anyone who swears and is abusive in front of young children is a complete arse. Shame it wasn’t her cold and shivering.

There isn’t a big changing room by the pool, it’s just cubicles. The big changing room is out of the pool area and through reception to the other side of the building, and it has signs saying people who are there to swim have to use the cubicles, presumably so they don’t drip all the way through reception 😂 it’s a bit of a weird layout. Might do a diagram!

I don't think it is entitled though. There are plenty of changing rooms.