Child didn’t get a party bag

[JandamiHash]

Hosted my son’s 8th birthday on Sunday. I sent out invitations in December and made it clear when people had to get back to me (7th Jan). We hired a magician and included personalised party bags that the magician makes himself - they have each child’s name on the stuff inside and it also included a magic wand and some of the tricks he did on the day so the kids could try themselves at home. They were a quite expensive addition but I didn’t mind as I thought it was a nice touch. I also ordered Domino’s Pizza and just enough for the partygoers as again it can be very expensive.

One child whose parents didn’t RSVP turned up. The mum is a bit of an Amanda (as in from Motherland) and has form for being a bit of a PITA. I did say “Oh you didn’t RSVP, it’s absolutely fine to stay but sorry I don’t have a party bag for James, just to warn you.” She looked annoyed and just said “I did RSVP didn’t I?” And checked her phone before saying “Oh dear I forgot. What a shame he won’t have a party bag.”

She then told me James is now vegan like her (was previously vegetarian). I said “Oh sorry there are no vegan pizzas ordered”. Again she looked annoyed and said how it would be awful not to feed him, so I said it was fine I’d call dominoes now to add one onto the order. She shared it with him and took the leftovers home. I was pissed off, if that was me I’d have at least ordered one myself for my child, but this woman is deeply entitled and a massive CF. I would never leave a child without food though and feel like I did the right thing.

Anyway I’ve had a text today to say how upset James is that he didn’t get a party bag, apparently the other kids are all bragging about their magic tricks that they’ve learnt with the party bag stuff and he’s feeling left out (she is forever messaging the mum’s group moaning he’s left out and nobody is his friend and expects us all to prioritise this with our own kids) and that I should have had spares.

I haven’t replied but WIBU to tell her that she should have RSVPd and the only person answerable to her son is her and her DH for sloppy organisation, and that plenty of children in the class didn’t attend the party. Also that I made reasonable adjustments for the food at my own expense. DH thinks I should send my bank details and ask for the extra £10 the vegan pizza cost!

I really want this scenario to end up in the forthcoming Amandaland series.

I couldn't help myself but reply to that.

"To be honest I think you texting me to complain he didn't get a party bag is out of order considering you didn't RSVP and I still let him stay. I even fed both of you after I'd already budgeted for the party."

You are a diplomatic genius!

Just say don't worry about it, we all forget to do things sometimes, but at least you'll remember next time so he won't be disappointed!

Put it on her shoulders.. because it's her fault!

I like the idea of directing her to whom does the party bags as long as she doesn't direct the bill to OP.

' awww I'm sorry James is upset. The party bags were amazing, i was so impressed with * for supplying them. I couldn't have spares as they were personalised to those who RSVP'd'

I wouldn't bother replying to someone who is clearly insane.

This is brilliant. It should happen to every parent who doesn't bother RSVP.

She's unbelievably rude and entitled, you have done nothing wrong.

I quite like these options

Rookie CF
Novice CF
Proficient CF
Advanced CF
Master CF

Am sure the other lovely posters can help us select some more 🤔 🤣

This is glorious

you did your end-(yet here i go suggest magician coulda had a couple "chance"pbs... not personalised but were he ware kid emptyhanded.?it cant be one only timee a extra sprung up...but bipity bopity what does she expect you gony do? she is capble libabry /mgiv book.stupid woman nd did james choose to be vegan.is wine vegan...

A top tip that I did to stop this happening in future. Put the date on the party invite but do not send them the exact location until they RSVP. Then you won’t have people that haven’t RSVP’d turning up x

“Amanda, you didn’t RSVP and so I didn’t know you were coming. That’s why there was no party bag for him and no pizza meeting his strict dietary requirements, though I did immediately rectify that for you at additional cost to me. I’m sorry James felt left out and I hope he feels better soon.”

I really don't understand Mumsnet sometimes.
Any other thread about party bags and everyone says they hate them because they are full of "plastic tat" that is killing the planet.
Yes my suggestion of doing less "fancy" bags is being shot down.
If you literally stick to a bag of sweets, piece of cake and one age appropriate cheap toy like a Hot Wheels Car then it's easy to have a few spares for the random extra kids that turn up or the one that's spills their sweets all over the floor.
The OP said the personalised bags were expensive. Yes it's her money. She can buy what ever she wants. But I am just baffled that this thread is the complete opposite of all the others about party bags.
(although poor vegan boy wouldn't have been able to eat the cake/sweets 😂)

Genius 🙂

People like her never learn because it’s all about them and they think everyone else should suck up to them!

But the party bags were part of the magicians entertainment package , and by what the OP has said went down a treat with the kids who have parents who are socially aware enough to reply to a party invitation got one.

You forgot Grand master! Haha

I’d text back “Maybe you should apologise to James for forgetting to RSVP, and explain to him that this is how people who organise parties know how many people they need to cater to. You can buy him something to make up for it yourself. **Accountability.”

^^This

I definitely think she needs it pointing out that it was her mistake

That was my first suggestion to another poster on page 4 😁

@JandamiHash give her the magicians contact details and say she could always contact him and buy a customised party bag for James so he doesn't feel left out due to her mistake.

The pizza thing is SO rude! You were way too polite ordering another pizza. You should have just chopped some cucumber for him and found a packet of crisps!

That's a really good text 😂

"I'm very taken aback by this message. When your name flashed up I fully expected it to mention any of all of the following; an apology for not RSVPing, sincere gratitude for the fact we accommodated your child regardless, acknowledgement that we then paid for a vegan pizza nobody but you or your child wanted and appreciation for the leftovers which you took home.

I am stunned by your rudeness having read what you actually sent me."

Absolutely love this reply!!