DS has quit his job to go travelling with a girl he just met

[ilosttheracoonjack]

I'm thinking I'm going to be told it is none of my business and to just be happy for him, but I am concerned so need some others views.

DS is 24, he has always been quite shy and kept himself to himself, more so since we moved to Australia when he was 11 as he was a confident child and lost it in his teens. He went to uni, he now has a good job and seems settled. In November he met a girl, she's 22, on her gap year. He had a relationship in his teens but nothing since. It has been like this girl has brought out a whole new side to him, he seems much more confident and relaxed.

Today he told us he has quit his job and they are going to finish her gap year together, mainly with those companies that organise gap year group tours, he seems excited. He is leaving next weekend, February, March & April SE Asia. May & June South America, July Central America then they will see what they feel like after.

TBH I am really apprehensive, this is very out of character and he doesn't really know this girl very well. DH thinks he has made a mistake quitting his job.

AIBU to be worried? Or as he is an adult is it on me to just leave him to it?

If he got one good job he'll get another, well done him for being brave enough to do it. I am insanely jealous!

She was already mid gap year - so no suggestion of that in the OP

I got what he meant OP.

Ignore all these people desperate to read too much into it. Clearly he meant he'll be chivalrous and carry her stuff up steep hills, not that she's asking him to mule for him. Bloody hell, this site is full of weirdos

Same 🤣🤣

Go travelling around the world, having adventures with someone you fancy and get on with... or work?

Work will still be there. And so will mortgages and bills and health concerns and elderly parents etc. I 100% wish this is something I could've done in my 20s before I had responsibilities and ties.

It is only 6 months out of his life. Not long in the scheme of things, but oh, what a glorious adventure he will have!

Ps. Agree with other posters to tell him not to put anything that isn't his in his bags in case of smuggling! 💊💉🗡🥚🐢📽🫖☠️🔫🏹🏺🎁🪴

Tbf I think that at 24 it's not his mother's job to be reminding him about that. He's not 16.

I think you are right but nonetheless it a common sense tip, that he needs to consider as in reality, he hasn't known her for too long.

I can understand why it can be disconcerting when a big life change happens unexpectedly and as parents to try to get your kids in a good job to set them up so it maybe scary him giving that job up....BUT

It shows great personal growth, it will do his self esteem and independence no end of good and it will broaden his horizons. Doing it when he has money in the bank and no long term commitments is the best time.

Just make sure he takes some standard precautions-
That's exciting for your son! Here are some essential tips to help him stay safe while backpacking internationally:

1. Research and Plan: Encourage him to research his destination thoroughly, including local customs, laws, and potential risks. Planning ahead can help avoid unexpected issues.
2. Travel Insurance: Make sure he has comprehensive travel insurance that covers medical emergencies, trip cancellations, and theft.
3. Stay Connected: He should keep in touch with family or friends regularly, sharing his itinerary and checking in frequently and make sure you know exactly who this girl is and who her emergency contacts are. Make sure he has a phone plan that works in all the countries he is going to so you always have a point of contact for his whereabouts.
4. Pack Essentials: He should pack a first-aid kit, necessary medications, and copies of important documents (passport, insurance, etc.).
5. Stay Aware: Being aware of his surroundings and avoiding risky areas, especially at night, is crucial.
6. Local Contacts: Have local emergency contacts and know the location of the nearest embassy or consulate.
7. Health Precautions: Ensure he is up-to-date with vaccinations and knows how to handle common travel-related illnesses.
8. Respect Local Culture: Encourage him to respect local customs and traditions to avoid offending locals and to stay safe.
9. Emergency Plan: Have a plan in place for emergencies, including knowing how to reach local emergency services.

The more planning he does , the easier you will feel but let him learn from his new relationship and enjoy his travels.

This sounds a great thing for him to do, but using mostly group tours is an expensive way to do it. As they haven't known each other long, could you suggest that they don't book any tours too far ahead, so that they have the option to travel separately? It's now so easy to travel independently. Booking.com has penetrated even some of the most isolated rural areas!

Come on OP, aside from being healthy, we just want our DC to be happy- right?

He’s had a hard time. You’ve just admitted yourself that moving continents dented his confidence big time.

He has met someone he likes, and she’s a go getter. This could be the making of him. He’ll have an amazing time, and come back a happy, confident man.

Help him pack, meet the girl, bung him a few dollars and tell him to embrace life to the full and have a great time.

A lot of people have, but early on there were quite a lot of comments, some outright weird, claiming this girl must be "love bombing" the OP's son, must have some ulterior, nefarious motive; that he's stupid to give up his job; that he's going to turn into a drug mule etc., etc. My post was in response those.

Have you never watched banged up abroad?

😂 honestly this place is fucking funny a lot of the time. Would be more so if posters didn’t genuinely believe the absolute shit they come out with.

only on mumsnet could a joke about women having more luggage (we absolutely do IME!) be turned into ‘he’s being used as a drug mule’ and then discussed seriously by some for several pages. Brilliant

I hope he has a great time :)

He has a qualification that means he can get a job whenever he likes.

He isn't walking away from a job at 22 that he can't do at 25.

He has already made a decision.

There is no better time in his life.

It's natural for you to worry but he should absolutely be doing this sort of thing now in his twenties. I hope he has fun,

@BeensOnToost thats not the case in this country, maybe it is in Australia. Even engineering graduates are struggling to get graduate jobs

Correct, it demonstrates he spent the year having a jolly good time, holidaying.

OP he is young and has no ties, let him live a little. Travelling is great while you're young and is a great way to build confidence. He has lots of time to settle down with a mortgage and longterm job.

I broke up with my ex of six years at the age of 29, took a 6 month sabbatical from work, and was about to go travelling to SE Asia when I met my (now) DH 2 months before i left.

We were inseparable, and he ended up joining me for 3 weeks at the start and used all his annual leave, then I cut my trip short and moved back with him. i'm sure everyone thought we were crazy, but we're now married, bought a house, settled and expecting our first (miracle) baby next month.

Sometimes taking a chance in life is a good thing.

My only problem with this is how insanely envious I’d be. Good for him.

What a wonderful opportunity for him. He can settle into another job when he gets home. I hope he enjoys this stage of his life

I agree but isn’t that all part of life and growing up? I admire the son for taking a risk, that’s how we learn. I totally get the instinct to want your children to take the less risky path in life, but I also get that this is miserable. Working from 20-65(70?) and missing out on making (sometimes bad) decisions and learning from them is not the life I’d want for my kids. Having said that, it’s about the type of risk, I think the scenario OP is describing is unlikely to end in tragedy, the likely worst case is he has his heart broken, which happens to most of us and we get over it and are pleased we learned from the experience.

@ilosttheracoonjack it’s normal to worry, but be happy that he can enjoy these care free years before he gets bogged down with day to day life xx

He's know her since November, hardly long term.

OP, this is a fab opportunity for him, he will have the time of his life. As with any other travel situation, he just needs to keep his wits about him.

The infantilising of a grown man in his mid-20s on this thread is unreal.

His career and relationship choices are entirely up him and it doesn't matter in the slightest whether you approve of them. You can worry all you want, but it's absolutely none of your business and I don't think it's your place to be offering advice and warnings to him. I wouldn't have needed or wanted my parents' input on my career plans or travel or relationships when I was in my mid-20s any more than I'd want it now in my late 40s.

if she ends up pregnant

Anyone the OP's son decides to fuck could theoretically 'end up pregnant' whether they're travelling or not, but as they're two independent adults and not two 15-year-olds going at it behind the bike sheds, it's bloody weird for the parents to be fretting and issuing warnings about it.

1. A wonderful opportunity to see the world whilst still young and unfettered.

1. NEVER, EVER, EVER carry anything for someone else whilst travelling , even if they are your best friend! That includes packets to put in luggage, seemingly innocuous bottles of things like shampoo or packets of foodstuffs, shoes, etc,.etc. and the actual case or backpack. It is all too easy for a travelling companion to innocently say their luggage is too heavy or too bulky. It sounds like overkill or being too cautious, but too many young people have been caught unwittingly carrying drugs.

This sounds great but as a mum I totally understand your worry

the only thing I’ll suggest is that he research the countries he’s visiting.

So many naïve tourists end up getting into serious trouble because they haven’t done basic research into the places they visit!!