DS has quit his job to go travelling with a girl he just met

[ilosttheracoonjack]

I'm thinking I'm going to be told it is none of my business and to just be happy for him, but I am concerned so need some others views.

DS is 24, he has always been quite shy and kept himself to himself, more so since we moved to Australia when he was 11 as he was a confident child and lost it in his teens. He went to uni, he now has a good job and seems settled. In November he met a girl, she's 22, on her gap year. He had a relationship in his teens but nothing since. It has been like this girl has brought out a whole new side to him, he seems much more confident and relaxed.

Today he told us he has quit his job and they are going to finish her gap year together, mainly with those companies that organise gap year group tours, he seems excited. He is leaving next weekend, February, March & April SE Asia. May & June South America, July Central America then they will see what they feel like after.

TBH I am really apprehensive, this is very out of character and he doesn't really know this girl very well. DH thinks he has made a mistake quitting his job.

AIBU to be worried? Or as he is an adult is it on me to just leave him to it?

I did exactly the same as your son @ilosttheracoonjack . Met someone (we were both 23), started dating, told me couldn't have a serious relationship as he was going travelling for a year but then after a few weeks asked if I wanted to go with him. I didn't even stop to think, I handed my notice in at my shit job and 2 months later we were away 😂We actually broke up a few months in but I stayed out with other backpackers I had met along the way. Best year of my life without a shadow of a doubt!

It's a brilliant age for him to do it OP! You're young, fearless and (generally) responsibility free. He'll gain so much knowledge, learn about other cultures, become independent... It will be lifechanging for him in the best way. And at the end of the day, can come home any time he wants!

And FWIW (and to help put your mind at ease) there are SO MANY young people doing this solo. I made friends with loads of people (some as young as 18/19) who were travelling alone and loving it.

Sometimes I think it's insane how safe I felt walking through the streets of Vietnam completely on my own, not knowing the language or a single other person, not just in the country, but the whole continent! Loved every second.

Perfect response!!!

Where does he live?

I’d say that 24 is the perfect age for this kind of thing; young enough to really benefit from all the adventures it will bring and old enough not to do anything stupid. I’d be much more nervous if it were my 19 year old wanting to do such a thing, but 24 is absolutely fine!

When our DD was at uni she wanted to do a semester abroad (different continent) and asked what we thought. We told her to go for it and to have trips and adventures like this at her age. She told us about a friend who had wanted to do the same thing but her parents wouldn’t support the idea and DD commented that she didn’t think that their reluctance had really helped their relationship. DD was awarded a place to study abroad but sadly Covid meant she couldn’t go. I still feel sorry that she missed out on this adventure.

Work-wise I can’t imagine that your DS will be penalised in any way for having taken time out to travel, particularly at his age. On the contrary, he will learn skills and have experiences that will make him a better employee in the long run so I’m
sure he’ll walk back into a job when he gets back.

Young people are more resourceful and resilient than we give them credit for. I admire your son for taking this opportunity and running with it. Chances are he’ll have the time of his life, will grow up in ways you couldn’t imagine and will always be glad he went.

Ignoring the part about the pregnancy 🙄(in my opinion, girls who travel the world on their own at a young age aren't really looking to "trap" a man by pregnancy but happy to be proven wrong).

But I would completely disagree about the CV. I did exactly the same as OPs son and subsequently have a year "travelling" on my CV aged 23/24. Not once has it been anything other than a great talking point in interviews. In fact when I first returned from my year out, it was always the ice breaker in interviews that they would ask me about first!

Not once did it hinder me. I would say the opposite. It shows that you are responsible, organised (if you can plan a trip round the world at that young age!), independent, (most likely) confident and not scared of a challenge!

It’s an amazing opportunity, please be happy for him. There’ll be other jobs.

This is exactly what I was going to say, word for word!

24 is still young, I hope he (they both) has a wonderful time I'm sure it will be something that will shape his view of the world for the rest of his life. How exciting!

YANBU to be looking out for your son - its how it should be no matter how old they get.
However, we have been to two funerals of people in their 40’s the last few months, one heart attack, one short brutal cancer, so I say wave him off and wish him well. You never know what’s round the corner.

Oh my gosh, does no one remember being young?! It's the only time in your life you have the opportunity to jack in a job, travel the world without a care and know you'll (eventually) get another job. It sounds marvellous, OP. He's a grown man; this is a great opportunity. Be happy for him.

Brilliant. Life is about experience of all kinds enabling physical emotional mental and spiritual growth. Not doing the safe thing. He has no commitments that he is abandoning. You should be thrilled for him.

How exciting! Depending on where you live in Aus, your son would have experienced all the lockdowns in his late teens or early twenties. It’s so valuable for them to go and travel, and might help his career in the future. I’d wish them well, and have a back up plan incase it goes wrong with the gf and needs to make alternative plans!

Sounds amazing. I would be thrilled if my dc did this. He will likely have 40-50 years to work. I jumped straight into a corporate job, then got married and had dc. I often wonder if I’ve missed out in experiences by not travelling and seeing the world a bit.

Sounds great unless you think the girl has some bad records.

I quit my first job to go travelling for a year in a professional and highly competitive industry. Returned home, had a job within a week and it’s done my career no harm at all. Employers like to see travelling on CVs - demonstrates independence, ability to deal with pressure, curiosity, awareness and understanding of other cultures, plus a whole host of other attributes.

Drugs!

To add. Best thing I ever did. Will never have that time again and loved every second of it. Even the 24 hour busses across Vietnam and food poisoning hitting on a plane.

???? Most people have said its a great idea?

I did this exact thing! I met someone in my summer job after uni, took out a loan at the time when they’d give them to anyone. Flew across the world and went travelling for seven months, working in hostels and cafes for cash in hand along the way.
One of the biggest learning experiences of my life. I travelled to some incredible places and learnt so much about myself. No regrets at all.
Im also now married with kids to the same person 20years later!

You never stop worrying about your children, that comes with being a mother.
You emigrated when you were maybe in your 30s? I’m sure your parents worried about you but kept quiet as they knew it was what you wanted to do.

I really believe everyone should have great experiences, travel when they can. It’s the best educational experience there is and none of us know when the opportunities will end. Health condition has scuppered my ideas for exotic travel I’m damned glad I travelled while I was younger.

My dc have travelled extensively all over the world. I am very much in favour of travelling. I do think it is important to read all the foreign office advice, be aware of possible problems and as pp said, get very good travel insurance.
Thailand and South and central America are beautiful but risky places, so it is important to be aware. Especially if they don't speak the language.

That's absolutely brilliant. I love being married and dull and settled now, but the year(s!) my DH and I spent travelling and living all over the world before we had children are the best memories of my life.

That's fantastic that your son has met someone fun to share all that with.

Having known some drug smugglers in my time / they are unlikely to use accredited group travel organisations to run drugs across countries!

Drugs. Other smuggling.

What a sneery post. It’s Australia, not UK, and gap years are the norm. I have relatives there and all their kids do it. They aren’t talking about 2 weeks on the Costa Blanca. Travelling/backpacking does broaden their minds, you have to be resourceful, make connections with people, be able to manage tricky situations, you see more than your own culture, which some people could do with more of, and so on. It’s also a lot of fun.

This sounds like a great opportunity for your DS. He's 24 and doesn't have the weight of the world on him yet, so why not? As his mum, be positive and remind him to get any immunizations he might need for travel.