To think I’m pushing it with my employer?

[NameChanged25]

….even though they haven’t said anything?

i returned from mat leave 6 months ago, full time desk job with some management responsibilities (it’s well paid).
im meant to be in the office 3 days a week but manage 2 max due to juggling pickups and drop offs (the commute is long and I need to do either pickup or drop off and DH does the opposite)
the other problem is, I seem to have so many childcare issues, with DC being unwell, appointments, can’t go to nursery because he’s vomited, has temperature etc etc. for example this week he’s had a chest infection and I have him at home with me so working is really difficult. He’s always seems to have some bug or another which affects my ability to work. DH does what he can but is self employed and travels a lot so more of the docs appointments and childcare falls on me. I get paid for ‘emergency childcare’ and it’s quite informal so no official record of how much time I’m out and I just get my normal salary regardless.

spoke to my employer again this week, and they were supportive and said don’t worry, can’t be helped etc, but I mentioned that I don’t think my performance / productivity is up to scratch because I’m taking so much time out for DC. They did also acknowledge as a small team we are falling short and responses are slower, output is less but “don’t worry - you need to give your little one time to adjust to nursery / build their immune system and we understand can’t be helped, the work/team improvements can wait - just do what you can for now”
so I feel the messages are a bit mixed. Since I’ve returned the team have been given extra work which I am effectively expected to take on, but basically the 3 other team members are picking up more than they did when I was on leave, and I think my boss is trying to balance their building resentment with supporting me.

YABU - it’s fine, they have not explicitly said there is a problem so just carry on and hope DC’s immune system gets better
YANBU - I’m taking the mick, and I’m soon going to be fired

The first time I went to my boss to ask to go and collect my child from nursery due to illness I was clearly looking a bit flapped. I never forget what he said: ‘what feels like a huge issue for you really isn’t a massive issue for me right now’. It put things into perspective for sure.

I had the winter from hell last year with 3 kids in a constant cycle of illness for 6 months. I think that if you make up the hours when you can and always tell your boss your plan for doing so before they have to ask you, you’ll be fine.

Yeap, this is normal

It sounds incredibly unfair on your colleagues who are having to do extra to compensate you for not being there. You and your husband sound completely selfish. He needs take responsibility for looking after his child too.

Boss in OP case is unphased because it's the colleagues who pick up the slack. Once they start protesting it will become an issue

This is what happens when people have children nowadays. Don't have a child if you want to work as well. Having a child is a job, beyond my understanding to have a child for someone else to look after !!

Happy to say that to women, yet men have been doing this since the dawn of humanity.

Nowadays? Has no one ever worked with kids before ? 😂

It's possible that the nursery has their staff on zero hours contracts, so sending children home when they don't really seem to be ill, would enable them to send staff home.
The parents are paying for the place regardless, and some staff costs are saved.

Please let me know where you work. Not because I need time off but good culture😉