Left alone in a park

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Please help, My ex looks after my two girls (12 and 10) most weekends. The eldest likes to do park runs on Saturdays but my youngest isn't really bothered. I found out recently that my ex and my eldest had done a park run in a large Scottish city (they've never been there before so an unfamiliar location), and my youngest had been left alone in a play park while they did a 5k park run. Looking at the course, the majority of it is outside the visibility of the park so there would be no way of checking whether she was safe in the park, except a few sections. A 5k takes around 30 minutes to complete - it does circulate the play park but on a very wide basis. Am I being unreasonable to think this isn't okay??

Oh for gods sake scary 😂I was walking to the park by myself to play with friends younger than 10

I think it's really irresponsible of him but that's just me - there's all sorts of weirdos out there. I wouldn't have left my 10 year old anywhere alone hoping someone else 'unknown' would keep an eye on her.

I wouldn’t have a problem with this, I’ve actually done it myself with DS, although he’d just made up 11. Park run in a Manchester park, we don’t live nearby. He got chatting to another couple of kids who were doing the same thing

Facts & sensible parenting...

Jessica Chapman & Holly Wells aged 11 were murdered by their school caretaker who was in a relationship with their teaching assistant in their village. They went for a walk on a weekend afternoon & met the caretaker in the village.

Sarah Payne aged 8 was murdered by a paedophile in Suffolk during daylight hours when out playing in Surrey.

Millie Dowler aged 13 was murdered by Levi Bellfield in Surrey a paedophile who spoke to young girls at bus stops in Surrey.

All in their home towns/villages.

There are many, many more abductions, sexual assaults & muggings of children (all documented)....please wake up & read the NSPCC guidance on keeping children safe when out in the community so everyone can make an informed decision on how to keep children safe.

Devils advocate. Was she actually uncomfortable being left alone or does she see her dad as someone who is likely to lap up an excuse to criticise her mother and she was in need of a bit of attention at that time as she felt left out? Given the OP said he felt like it was a cry for help

I think the tone has changed in responses since OP said he was the dad and the ex is the mum

And sadly very many more. Thank you for looking and posting @Active13

Every single one was perfectly safe before and up to the moment they weren't anymore.

I did enough roaming on my own as a child, in very safe, very nice areas, to know what can happen.

My worry would have been if she fell off the playground equipment and broke a bone or something. Half an hour is a long time in that scenario!

That you can name the children who were murdered by randoms on the street shows how rare it is.

The vast majority of children murdered are done so by someone known to them. The OPs child is (statistically) more likely to be murdered by her own father than some random in the park.

I think what's interesting is that it doesn't particularly show cities as more dangerous than rural areas which has been often alleged in this thread

I'm going to assume that you live in an unsafe area.

We live in a gritty urban area and I would not let my children go to the park on their own or to hang out with friends. It's all drug dealing and even the odd fire so it is not the norm to let your kids hang out there.

However I would have no hesitation leaving a 10 year old in the play area ij the same park during a park run. It's a completely different atmosphere- busy, family friendly, and you are in the vicinity and can periodically view them to see if they are ok.

It's not the same as leaving them on their own.

I agree.
if she’d fallen, hurt herself in some way or ( less likely but still possible) a random told her she had to leave, to go this way, with me……

If she had fallen over she would have stood up and waited until her dad came back
If an adult said to go with her, she would say no and phone her dad

I mean she is 10, not 3. If a 10 year old can not navigate this, I despair

Despair all you want@MerryMaker Why should a 10 year old potentially have to navigate that? Would you want to have to navigate that yourself? Having to wait, hurt, in the cold, on your own?

@Wavescrashingonthebeach she was on her own, not with friends and in an unfamiliar city. So not really comparable to you toddling down to your local park to meet your mates...

The last two children I named were not murdered by people that knew.
Child sexual abuse, physical assault, muggings (of children) & abduction is not uncommon. These are the facts.

The NSPCC guidance helps parents make a decision about whether their child is old enough to go out alone & what to go if they are worried, in danger etc.

Parents can disagree & make their own decision or but these are the facts.

Child sexual abuse, physical assault, muggings (of children) & abduction is not uncommon.

Yes. luckily it is. Child abduction by strangers is very rare. How about you list all children abused or murdered by their parents and step-parents? Statistically she was safer alone in the park than staying home with her mum's new partner.

They should have left her in the park after their run, then.

Why is everyone saying did she have a phone? 10 years should not have phones!!!!!!

well as OP writes that "She messaged me to tell me what she was doing" I assume this 10yo indeed had a phone.

"They should have left her in the park after their run, then."

based on the risk assessment of some posters on this thread, apparently. Most accidents happen at home, after all. Dangerous places.

From the OP's description of much of the course being through wooded areas it really does sound like it was Pollok Park. That used to be our local park and I'd definitely feel safer leaving my ten year old in the playpark there for half an hour than in a playpark in Queens Park or Glasgow Green. It is a country park in a leafy, suburban, predominantly middle class area and the playpark is usually busy with other parents. However, I'm guessing OP's ex doesn't have that local knowledge. The route also only passes the playpark and does not loop back via the playpark or end in sight of the playpark so lots of the assumptions about how long the child will have been out of sight for in this thread are likely to be wrong.

If you went out with a group from work for lunch and then as they walked through the park the others said we've got to dicuss something confidential.
You can wait here and we'll only be about 30 to 40 minutes.
You like reading and there are plenty of benches to sit on.
We'll come by here on the way back.
In the cold. In winter.
And with no option to go off anywhere else or inside.
How would you feel.
Why is the only concern the likelihood of assault.
As if weighing up whether your car is parked in a safe location.
This is a person being left. Not something that might be stolen. Why are children less deserving of consideration.

We did the same on holiday in unfamiliar places. Just applied basic safety and stranger danger rules.
Can agree the fact of her being on her own is more of an issue but pretty sure at that age I could navigate my way around plenty of places and in lots of other countries it is the norm ie Japan and Holland.
Suppose it all depends on the individual child. If she was unhappy about it then it's a problem.

Meghan Russell was murdered while walking home from school down a peaceful country road accompanied by her mum and dog. By your metric, nobody should go to school at all, even in the countryside, just not worth the risk. Build yourself a bomb shelter and don’t ever come out again, it’s the only way to be truly safe.