Kid being gossiped about by mums.

[motheroffour1980]

Hi there,

I just want to throw this out there to get other parents opinions.

My 5 year old just started in a nice, small, school in the Midlands last September. All has being well so far and he’s happy and made new friends.

However in his class there’s one mum who has been complaining to all the other parents about this one boy in the class who has a tendency to curse.

She said he has been cursing nearly every day in front of her daughter.

I personally think it is an overreaction on her part and she shouldn’t be sharing it with us or the other mums.

I heard this all initially from one of the other mums who she had first said it to, then another parent and another who all equally expressed concern having heard it from her .. before she said it directly to me one day.

She said she was “concerned” about this boy who was cursing, and she had told the school. She had reported him to the teacher.

I personally believe it’s now up to all involved to rectify it all. It’s really none of my business and I don’t appreciate being dragged into a conversation about it.

Now here’s the thing. I asked her how her daughter felt about it, and she fumbled an answer that her daughter was fine.

So here is where I think she’s out of line. If her daughter is otherwise fine then why is she blowing this up? I feel like she is trying to smear this poor boy (and throwing shade at his parents) through her righteousness because, yes technically she is right and he shouldn’t be cursing.

If she has informed her own daughter that bad language is unacceptable and her daughter is otherwise fine, then why has she gone on about this for months?

I personally think issues like this should be kept private between the parents of the children in question and the teachers.

It feels like she is trying to smear this boy for his bad behaviour and I can’t help but thinking how young they are and kids make mistakes and still have a lot to learn.

Also other parents are now talking about this “bad boy” in this class, who is only 5 years old. To think that he might not get invited to play dates now because this sanctimonious, perfect mother has told everyone about him. He is otherwise a good kid.

Should I talk to the teacher about her? Are there guidelines for parents gossiping about kids, and getting overly involved, does anyone know? I’m new to all this!

Am I being unreasonable ?

With stuff like this just grey rock. No response!

People are trolling domestic abuse victims in threads? That's horrible. I guess as it's AIBU, it shouldn't surprise me but that's just a shocking and sickening low.

Sorry, doesn’t sound like you are the kind of mum who looks out for your own child but one who judges others. Fair enough if this mum decided she wanted to minimise contact with the child who swore - that’s a personal choice. What isn’t OK or necessary to spread gossip around. The child should be held accountable via the school and his or her own parents - not a community of bullying mums (where from the sound of it) you would fit in nicely.

think what you want.

I said that the OP was part of the drama and the best way to address her, and the other mum, was to completely ignore them.

It doesn't mean you don't know what's happening at school, and you stop talking with friends. It would be pretty poor not to warn them, swearing is bad enough but becomes a problem with younger siblings in the room! Call it gossips from "bullying mums" 🙄if it makes you feel better.