Hubs won't get the snip!!

[241719robs]

Am I being unreasonable that my hubby wont even consider getting the snip? He just replies with 'maybe one day'.

We have children already and I am 99% DONE. My body has been through enough and mentally Im burnt out. After contraception for years, pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding I dont want to go back on contraception or risk condoms etc. I know vasectomies are not 100% but better than me having to go through invasive procedures again. Im also late for my period and after 2 negative pregnancy tests Ive explained how unfair it is for me to be worrying about this every month. He basically ignored me as he knew what I was getting at.

Am I being a b*tch? Hes not had to go through anything physically and its not like I’m asking him to chop his bits off 🥲

Because women have many more options.

People are so quick to say "hormonal contraception does not agree with me". Sometimes they've explored many different types, and it's true. However, often it seems they've tried one type of pill. There are so many different types of contraception out there for women, and women react differently to each one.

@LameBorzoi and yes women try different types of hormonal contraceptives, and still it does not agree with them. What else should the use. They don't just try one pill. And why should it be up to the women all the time. It is recommended that women who have been on hormonal contraceptives for a long time should eventually come off it. So a women should just try everything on offer and the man should do nothing. How selfish.

No, you should not come off all types just because you've been on them for a long time. That's not true. However, age does change the risk profile.

I agree that it's inherently unfair that the burden of contraception falls on women, but a large part of that is just biology.

It's not the 15 minutes that's the downside, it's the fact that it's irreversible.

@LameBorzoi women are told to come off their contraceptives sometimes if they have been on it a long time, i have been told that. And if you are done having kids does it matter if it is irreversible.

You've been told that? Do you have professional training in this area?

Does it matter if it's irreversible? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes it's the right option, but it's not something to be flippant about.

Biology, and the fact that male equivalents have failed because the side effects - which women live with every day - are considered unacceptable for men.

@LameBorzoi nobody is being flippant
Your are telling me my own experiences and the experience of other women are wrong. You the one that seems to think you are the expert.

I'm not an expert, but I do have professional training in this area.

yep. I mean logically biology should surely make it super easy to develop effective contraceptives for men! There’s a reason why male sterilisation is so much easier- the male reproductive role is just much more basic. 🤷🏼‍♀️ The reason we don’t have hormonal contraceptives for men is that as a society we view men’s bodies as autonomous and sacrosanct, and women’s bodies as expendable and serviceable.

No, rather the opposite. With men, you have to suppress the production of millions of sperm. You've also only got one process - gametogenesis - availsble to interrupt.

With women, there's only one (usually) gamete at a time to suppress. You can also work at multiple levels - cervical mucus, ovulation, implantation, etc.

I’m sure that’s the excuse,

Also apparently :

• *Side effect concerns:
• Men are more sensitive to hormonal changes, which can lead to potentially undesirable side effects like decreased libido or mood swings, making it crucial to carefully design a contraceptive with minimal side effects.
• Limited research and funding:
• Compared to female contraceptives, there has been less research and funding dedicated to developing male options, impacting the pace of development*

Men are more sensitive to side effect eh? 🙄

*In fact, finding effective drugs has never been the problem.
Over the last half century, many possible methods for male birth control have been proposed, including some that have made it to clinical trials in humans. However, each one has eventually met a dead end – even those that are safe and effective have been written off due to undesirable side effects. Several male pills have been rejected on the grounds that they lead to symptoms that are extremely common among women taking female versions.
*
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20230216-the-weird-reasons-male-birth-control-pills-are-scorned

If drug companies could bring to market a product that people would actually use, don't you think it would already be here? The potential profits are enormous!

Men wouldn’t use it!! That’s the whole point.

I thought it made some of them suicidally depressed? No wonder it failed if that's the case. Also the birth rate would plummet, which I'd personally welcome.

that's not suitable for everyone. I have a very delicate cervix due to something called an enlarged ectropian. basically, imagine your lips, instead of lip skin had inside the mouth skin. so it's very fragile and bleeds easily. I basically spray paint the surgery during a smear. (and that so called slight discomfort is days of cramps and bleeding afterwards. and I don't even get cramps during periods normally)
if I had a coil, I would be very likely to have a lot of irritation and bleeding from it.

for some people it's great. but I know it would be a bad and painful option for me.

Yes it did make some suicidally depressed.

The article linked also highlights that the female pill was passed before the modern day ethics panels which were established after the Nuremberg trials and wouldn't pass today most likely.

Also ethics panels judge medication on risk Vs benefit, the pill is safer than pregnancy whereas men are not at risk of pregnancy or pregnancy related health problems so for the risk to outweigh the benefits there needs to be basically no risks.

It's not just because men are on some pedestal where they are expected to ensure no discomfort ever while women are fucked.

Also the birth rate would plummet

I do agree with this.

In my opinion they should just get on with 1) making contraceptives for men
2) developing the technology to create an embryo out of two female eggs.

IMHO we have scientific knowledge to achieve both (certainly the former and we are close with the latter). There are social reasons (patriarchy) why neither is happening any time soon.

men are not at risk of pregnancy or pregnancy related health problems so for the risk to outweigh the benefits there needs to be basically no risks.

it’s not like men are… expected to endure no discomfort whatsoever and women are fucked

incredible.

right. I've never encountered a single medical practitioner claim a vasectomy is worse than a tubal. in fact, the first thing I was asked when I asked about a tubal was "would your partner consider a vasectomy? that's a much more straightforward and less invasive procedure"

If the side effects were at all acceptable, I'm sure there's a contingent of men who are terrified of being "baby trapped" that would love the option. You don't need ALL men to take it - just pass safety standards and have a large enough market.

Why? I never denied that pregnancy that was risky, just that having experienced a pregnancy doesn't mean you are then owed a vasectomy as payment for your suffering in the name of equality.

lol if men are so worried about being “baby trapped” they can put on a condom.

Quoted wrong comment here.