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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel my wedding to save the embarrassment?

528 replies

RubbishAtWeddingPlanning · 12/01/2025 21:22

I get married this year and I was really excited when I got engaged two years ago. Since then, the financial pressure of it all has been horrendous. I have a big family and I literally cannot make it any cheaper and it's costing thousands. DH's sister has since got engaged and has a lot of money and has planned and booked everything straight away. I have rubbish bridesmaids who aren't at all interested in the planning or even really me for that matter, a rubbish family who have little interest in my day and after a family do at DH's Uncles house a week ago where his entire family sat round the table discussing DH's sisters wedding which is after mine and asking me ( rather insensetively ) why I haven't and when I will book things I can't afford I have been so sad about my day, crying whenever I think about it and their inevitable opinions. I kept it together then and there but he has some strong, female voices in his family unit who frankly make me feel like a loser in comparison and I cant shake the idea that I can't pull a wedding off. I just feel like no matter how hard I try it's going to be such a pitiful, lesser event and no matter what I spend on it nothing will compare. I can't wait to marry DH and we have a lovely little life but honestly when I see how people talk about weddings on here it seems like nobody appreciates the effort anyway and often slags the day off after. I also feel like with the support I've had with planning my day will never compare to DH's sisters day ( she is lovely and deserves a wonderful day but the family just have no consideration of anyone else's feelings ) and his family will compare the two forever more. They're all quite delusional about the cost and how much I'm trying to juggle at the moment and I feel like I'm interrogated whenever I see them, even when DH to be has said I don't want to talk about it at these events or tried to change the subject. Shall I just call it off and go to a registry office? I have six months to go and I'd lose about 8k. Has anyone else done the same thing? I can't honestly be bothered to try to resurrect it or throw more money at it at this point and I don't want to compete. I have nothing sorted and no money to sort it either really without looking at loans etc and I'm starting to think that a nice meal after and saying the words just me and DH to be and none of the fuss would be better?

Yanbu- cancel
Yabu- ride it out you're just having a wobble

OP posts:
Sharptonguedwoman · 12/05/2026 15:13

RubbishAtWeddingPlanning · 12/01/2025 21:32

Ah sorry not at all, just my wording. We are really 50/50 and he's amazing but I know deep down he wouldn't care what we did as long as we got married.

Then do that. Book the Registrar's Office and take a couple of friends. Tell everyone afterwards. Throw a party if you want to or take your immediate families out to lunch.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 12/05/2026 20:27

Sharptonguedwoman · 12/05/2026 15:13

Then do that. Book the Registrar's Office and take a couple of friends. Tell everyone afterwards. Throw a party if you want to or take your immediate families out to lunch.

Please see the date on the thread 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Sharptonguedwoman · 12/05/2026 20:33

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 12/05/2026 20:27

Please see the date on the thread 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Ok, must admit I didn't look but I'm obviously not alone. Wonder why it's popped up now?

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