To be frustrated at some parents as a volunteer?

[WitheringHeights8]

For context, I volunteer with Girlguiding and have done so for several years.

The unit I take has been on a parent rota for a few terms now due to poor volunteer recruitment and retention.

While I have had quite a few offers of help, and some who have been very supportive, why is it something that many parents still shy away from?

By that, I mean I've asked for a simple yes or no are you able to help on one night, and they've simply ignored me.

The few who have got back to say they can't help have given me understandable reasons such as childcare and work. Totally fine and I really appreciate the acknowledgement.

But to continue to ignore what would be a simple one sentence communication in many cases, has really made me question why I'm doing this.

They're happy to drop their kids off, send in a form or reply quickly when it comes to food preferences, etc.

This might just be my hormones, but I needed to vent.

Do you have a Young Leader Op? We do well for young leaders and guides helping in younger age group sessions. Obviously doesn’t replace need for adult help for ratio but having one body per table for activities can make things easier for leader.

Hey, I totally understand where you're coming from.

I struggle with my mental health, and sometimes you just don't have any spoons left.

I would be absolutely fine, and non-judgemental, with a simple "No, I can't manage" or even , "No/Not available".

You would then be taken out of the equation, no questions asked.

It's the lack of acknowledgement that's the disheartening and rude part.

I have two DDs - eldest is now 21, but did guides when she was younger. Younger daughter is 13 and in the same Guide company.

I offered to help with camping/cooking in the woods etc, as well as normal meetings when eldest was in Guides - I was never taken up on the offer.

With DD2, They arranged a trip to London - DD2 is terrified of escalators - but told me DD2 couldn't go because they would be travelling by tube and there weren't enough staff to keep everyone safe if one guider had to accompany my DD up stairs instead. I offered to go to supervise her, but that was also turned down on the basis that it would make the other Guides feel awkward having a parent there ......

I've given up now

Here's me saying I'm going to bed 😂

Yes, I do! I've often had a couple at a time. They are invaluable, and usually very enthusiastic and motivated.

They don't replace the missing adult, unfortunately.

Good night I need to go to bed too.

I think you need to be prepared to call their bluff and simply cancel meetings where you don't have volunteers.

Send out a message saying you need volunteers and because of safeguarding rules, parents who have already volunteered twice this term are not permitted to volunteer again. If no-one is able to volunteer then the meeting will need to be cancelled. Explain that volunteers can be mums, dads, grandparents, etc.

And be prepared to cancel the meeting. You'll only need to cancel once (maybe twice at most) and people will volunteer.

When DD went to cubs the leader used to have a huge timetable printed out at the beginning of every term. Parents were asked to put their names down on the date they could do. It was always filled in on that first week. Maybe try something like that? It worked well!

I have just started helping regularly with the Scouts (as in every week) and it’s mind blowing how some people want really cheap childcare every week and for multiple weekends, camping trips etc without ever offering to help!

My post wasn't addressed to you OP, although I can see why you thought it was.
It was in response to another poster whose post suggested "Try sending out a rota with the helpful parents’ names filled in for some of the weeks. Say “please fill in your name where you can help. Or if you can’t help please can you email me to let me know why.”
Unfortunately, although I thought I'd 'quoted' that post, it didn't appear when my post did.

No worries. Thanks for clearing that up.

I agree.

If you really need volunteers then let parents know at pick up that volunteers are needed or else you will need to downsize or something.

My DD was at Brownies when younger and I didn’t even know it was ran my volunteers. But also it’s unfair to expect parents to want to volunteer as they might not even be good at it. They might not be confident and working with children only suits some people. I personally wouldn’t volunteer as I was doing lots of other volunteering alongside my full time job. When you are a service for children, you should be clear about how parents get involved. We would otherwise assume we drop the children off and that’s it. Sometimes I wouldn’t answer because I don’t have capacity to volunteer and I would help out only if needed - so it’s not yes or no.

Also highlight what skills you need in your comms.

Also if parents don’t respond, see it as a “no” and look at other methods of recruiting.

This is what I shall be doing moving forward.

I kind of feel like the parent who announces "Right, Christmas is cancelled!", to sudden indignation and outcry.

I don’t know what your age range is, or how old your volunteers need to be - but why not ask parents to recruit volunteers amongst older siblings, grandparents, uncles and aunts? A lot of people are still living at home as young adults, and some might enjoy helping out with a younger sibling’s activities. (It’s also good experience to put on a CV!) Likewise, some grandparents will have more time available than parents if they’ve retired, and might welcome the opportunity to spend time around their grandkids. If you could get extended family members involved, even if only a few families were able to step up, that would widen your pool of volunteers.

People may not realise that volunteering is not limited to mums. I also imagine that people assume it’s a long-term, every-week type of commitment, so they might not realise that they can volunteer to help out with just a few sessions.

And I wonder whether, on a more general note, the national organization encourages former Scouts/Guides to volunteer, either with their old group, or with a new one in their university town, for example? Do you have any “graduates” from your group who are still living nearby and who might help out occasionally?

Thanks for everything you do. My family has a long tradition of involvement with Scouting, and I’m glad the movement is still going strong. I hope you have luck finding more volunteers.

We were just put on a rota at my dds beavers and asked to swap if we couldn't attend. They also didn't allow the parents to leave drop off until they were sure they had their adult quota, and if not there would be a request for a volunteer, some poor sod always ended up sticking a hand up 🤣 DBS forms from at least one parent were a requirement of signing your child up too.

I'm on the PTA so I'm not chary of volunteering but don't really fancy running a kids club so didn't offer if I could help it 😬 always did my rota spot of course. Now she's at Cubs they don't have a forced rota.

I'm not in Surrey. I used to live there.

A parent coming in for one or two nights as part of a rota will be chaperoned by another adult at all times, which is why a DBS check is not required. If someone joins as a longer-term volunteer, things like mandatory safeguarding training (watching a video and doing a quiz online) kick in as well as DBS being required.

I am sorry but what you are describing here it is common pattern in communication nowadays. People going cold feet after having shown interest about something, normally after sending a casual text message.

Oh to add - we have a section in our parent helpers in our welcome pack and I let them bring other siblings if needed (now ratios are not mandatory). We often have younger siblings join in or older ones sitting doing homework/drawing in the corner. Every term when I send out the list I stress it can be anyone over 18.

Volunteering has really fallen, especially amongst the under 40s. We will end up with lots of commercial clubs instead, and nothing that is cheap.

It's because they assume (or it actually is) a mass email do no need to reply. If I hit an email from a teacher asking for volunteers for a class trip (for example), I would assume they don't want to read through all the excuses why not, just want emails from those that can.

If volunteering involved simply organising one activity out of, say, 10, and turning up for the night to do this, it might work. I did ask to be set up as an occasional helper, thinking that was it, but soon found out that

• the initial form that needed to be filled in was off-putting in its length and detail
• I needed yet another DBS check (I have one through work already)
• I needed yet more safeguarding training (ditto, at least annually as I work with children daily)
• the planning meetings and level of contact and time needed to set something up was not something I could give my energy to - I stumble into the house fully exhausted after work and my ex, who did volunteer, ended up with almost weekly meetings, often in our home until gone 10pm
• honestly, I did not want to deal with even more parents and the potential for complaints before I'd even started as the organiser wanted to put lots of information out there before it had even happened

So I didn't end up volunteering. I understand why all the paperwork and safeguarding are there, but if you want people to get involved, the barriers to volunteering need to be removed or at least be made as low as possible, otherwise you end up with lots of people like me, who, in theory, would volunteer, but are reluctant to jump through all the hoops to do so in the first place.

I'm an atheist, too, and we took the God stuff out years ago
I didn’t know that. Caused a few issues at the time. My pack was abroad and the regional leader was very religious so I had to have several conversations about this faith aspect and wasn’t allowed to leave it out of the promise ceremony. DD is 25 now so it was a while ago but it always irritated me!

"I absolutely think it should be no volunteering no place."

I absolutely think that is absolutely purely wrong! There are many parents who simply can't volunteer. There are also many parents who simply won't. Their children have as much right to the activities-and sometimes more need-than any others.

I'm not sure whether the poster rightly objecting to giving reasons was responding to me? Obviously nobody should have to give reasons-as my mother would have said "A simple no would suffice." However, if we knew that a parent definitely couldn't we wouldn't ask. Which saved us time and them hassle. And also if we knew, for example, that a parent had a disability or no car or caring responsibilities or something we could try to find ways for their child to participate in any activities that needed extra adults. So of course you don't have to elaborate. But sometimes it helps everyone if you can.

Please do regularly ask but also please don’t feel annoyed when you don’t get regular volunteers There may be excellent reasons.

As ab unsupported single parent it’s the only time off you get all week. Or it’s a time off to go to a different class yourself. Also there may be the demands of own job. Or other kids. Or life admin. Health problems or disability preventing them helping.

When I did volunteer at Brownies did it in pairs and it was brilliant for making friends with a different parent each time. People might feel awkward if they think they will be standing around alone. then you got pairs volunteering together. It did make it less appealing to volunteer when one of the other mums suggested a cafe trip while the kids were doing the activity. There may be that.

also I had no background in these groups from being a child and these days parents increasingly won’t have that background as time goes on for lots of reasons, so they won’t realise what’s involved and all the military terminology etc is confusing and a bit off putting. that’s something that could be explained in a video from head office when you join.

Also there is a changing and IMHO worsening relationships with schools which might be feeding into this. A lot of primary schools don’t let parents and carers in the classroom at all, some don’t let them in the playground to drop off or at pick up. or some schools make them stand in one small area of the playground only. I’m sure it’s due to previous bad experiences. But end result schools are very controlling about what they want parents to do on a daily basis because they don’t have space on site and maybe worry about the parents having acess to other kids. They don’t want parents trying to ask teachers or TAs things each day.

This means the parents have to gather and stand in one spot passively to wave off or receive their kids. It creates a much more ‘us and them’, non communicative handover relationship with school. It creates a source of stress for some parents if they’re new and don’t have other oarents to say hi to. Etc Threads and threads about this on here. So for a lot of parents we will apply that not great experience to your activity too unless it’s massively spelt out that you need the relationship to be a lot different from school.

The head office seem to have a bad reputation with most groups I have been to - and with good reason it seems. why aren’t they supplying materials and wording for every unit to use explaining why volunteers are needed, these are what we might ask you to do, etc

and especially why isn’t there a direct with head office account which remind parents to pay subs or pay for trips? This seems a universal problem that tech could fix.