DD relationship with 50 yr old

[Bonniethecat1]

I have found out my DD is in sexual relationship with a man who turned 50 in August and she is not far off turning 25.. I think he is using her and how can I convince her to stop seeing him, she actually has admitted feelings for him, aibu to think this is so wrong? I can't stand this.

You do know a MN username is no indication of gender and using the first part (of a name of a character from a radio play) to make out I'm a man is just stupid?

I once had a brief fling with someone 12yrs older and even that was a bit weird.

Where's the huge power imbalance? Because he has more money? Hardly.

I'm finding a lot of comments very patronising towards a grown woman of 25. This is an adult making her own decisions, not a naive child being taken advantage of or being led astray. At 25 we'd all have been well aware of how it looks to the outside world and what the deal is here.

You might not like her decisions, might not have made the same ones, might not understand why she's doing it - but please, allow her to own her actions.

Um lots of women use the term silver fox?
It's literally a well known and used term for a sexy older man

This. Some of these posts are shocking. Older men shouldn't even be looking at young women like that, leave them to men their own age.
I look at men that age and only feel motherly towards them.

I once had a brief fling with someone 12yrs older and even that was a bit weird.

Aren't you the poster who has the vapours if your foof isn't waxed within an inch of its life though? You seem quite rigid in your views in general.

Yes but I bet if you were 25 you wouldn't describe him so glowingly?

I'm 59 and my husband turned 90 on Friday. We have been married for over 31 years -tied the knot when I was 28

It can be for life. If you want to keep the relationship going, say nothing. Even if they separate - they could get back together again.

No no I'm the poster who thinks personal care is fine and doesn't mean you're a paedophile or a pornstar.

No but it is guaranteed that he will be a pensioner before long and what is sexy about that?

It’s just gross. You can defend this as much as you like, but people WILL think she is your kid everywhere you go.
You are holding her back from motherhood and the security of proper relationship that will offer her a life time of love rather than a few years or decades if she is lucky and then widowed young. It’s bloody awful and selfish and yes I stand by my view.

Willem Defoe is nearly 70, never mind 50, and I still would. I've fancied him since I was twelve.

Who are all these codgers?? William Defoe? Are you doing this as a joke using people literally no one has ever heard of!

@SoNiceToComeHomeTo "No doubt he's very pleased to be having sex with a younger woman"

🤢🤢

You do you! All I see when I'm coming through the city on a night time is lads in their 20s off their nuts on Coke & MDMA, falling all over, vomiting in the street, having fights, and pissing against buildings. Most of the 20s women I work with are forever upset they've been cheated on, dumped, or just plain old treated like shit off their boyfriends...

I'd say OPs daughter isn't prepared to put up with any of that crap probably.

You don't seem to have heard of much tbf. Now off you trot, school in the morning.

Who are all these codgers?? William Defoe? Are you doing this as a joke using people literally no one has ever heard of!

If you were into decent cinema you'd know who he was.

I'm not sure if celebs count though. They are usually all well maintained (apart from Clooney's beard), have good dentistry, personal trainers etc.
The average 50yr old on the street looks fine with someone of at least similar age, but looks silly with a 25yr old.

You have a weird obsession tbh about being "sexy" and relationships only being based on looks

Please stop with the Motherhood BS as well. We don't all want to have children. Stop acting like every woman does! And acting like a 50 year old is about to drop dead. She could easily have 30+ years of happiness with him

"Holding her back from motherhood" 🙄
Surely she's the judge of that?!
Not everyone wants kids.
I did, not everyone is me though.
Some people fancy people who are older than them too. I fancied Alan Rickman as a teen and he'll have been in his 40s then!
Still did as an adult.

I think you're the one joking now
Acting like these FAMOUS names are nobodies

I went through a faze of getting involved with much much older men when I was in my late teens/early 20's.... Looking back, it was disgusting, but at the time I couldn't have cared less what anyone thought (including my mother). I should add, I had a dad and step dad both reject me in childhood so I was carrying around a whole lot of daddy issues!
There's nothing you can do I'm afraid. She will make her own decisions and mistakes.

You are right! As a mum to dd, I would find it awful and he is a filthy piece of scum if he thinks he can approach a 25 y.o.

Erm, William Dafoe is hardly an unknown name!😁

Erm that is a ridiculous over generalisation. Many don’t even drink much less high on ket etc.
It tends to be old blokes that have the drink problem and erectile dysfunction!

I mean at best the poor girl is on borrowed time in the bedroom isn’t she! If she can get past the prostate issues, the hair loss, the rotting teeth and vitality on a steep downhill trajectory.

In just a few years he will be able to access assisted living apartments whilst she is clubbing on the shores of Ibiza!

Because he’s double her age and old enough to be her father. Would you honestly not be bothered by such an age gap if this was your daughter? I know I would!