My MIL lives about 150 miles and 3.5 hours away from us, and we’ve made the trip to visit her four times this year. She made the return journey once, but now she’s becoming increasingly reluctant to make the drive herself.
We’re expecting our first baby in March, and when we visited last week, she casually mentioned that we’ll be visiting her soon with the newborn. I just said, "Well, we’ll have to see how everyone is," because it got me thinking that we’re not really sure when or how a trip like that would work.
The baby’s car seat does have a lie-flat mode, but I’m concerned about the long journey, especially considering that babies are supposed to be in car seats for a limited time (half-hour stretches for the first 4-6 weeks). Plus, I have no idea how I’ll be feeling post-birth, and I’ll be establishing breastfeeding and settling into new parenthood. Selfishly, I think it would be much easier for me to stay at home where I’m comfortable and have everything set up, rather than trying to manage a long drive and staying at her house.
Also, MIL tends to be around constantly when we visit - it is her home after all - and I’m anticipating that I’ll want some space with the baby especially in those first few weeks. I’d prefer to limit visitors to a few hours at a time, but I’m not sure how that would go down at her house when we're the visitors.
AIBU to think that we should stay home until we’re happy with the journey and not commit to anything until we know for sure? I also think if MIL wants to meet the baby, she can come to us. I’m just not ready for long journeys and staying away from home so soon after giving birth. I realise I probably should have said something when she brought it up, but I was so taken aback that I didn’t know how to respond. Now it feels awkward to go back and say it won’t work. I’m hoping she doesn’t bring it up again but want to know if that's reasonable.