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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think women know the 'explanation' for why more young men than women live with parents

222 replies

Echobelly · 11/01/2025 10:15

Was reading this article, and had to laugh at the last line https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/jan/11/hotel-of-mum-and-dad-in-uk-at-its-fullest-in-two-decades-study-finds - apparently 'Young men are more likely to live with their parents: 12% compared with 5% of women at the age of 34. Researchers could offer no explanation for this, although the gender differences also existed in other high-income countries.'

I think a lot of women could offer an explanation. 😜

OP posts:
User1786 · 11/01/2025 10:26

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Longtermuser · 11/01/2025 10:27

Well are you going to offer an explanation?

At a guess I would say the biological clock is one reason. Men aren't in such a hurry to find a partner and procreate since they have their whole lives to do that. Another possibility, and the reason I left home young, a lot of young women clash with their mothers.
That's one woman's opinion. Maybe you have a different one OP?

Aaron95 · 11/01/2025 10:29

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I think you overestimate the number of people who make a living from that sort of thing.

Fleetheart · 11/01/2025 10:29

Women are generally much more independent. My DS is 20 and not looking to leave home despite the fact we don’t get on really- he is far too comfortable! My DD I get on better with but she wants to have her own space. Also her lazy brother gets on her nerves.

Ohnonotmeagain · 11/01/2025 10:30

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lol no.

it’s men prefer being looked after, and they are more likely to not be expected to do their share of cleaning, cooking etc. it’s easier for men to live at home.

I know a bloke at uni who lived in halls, then moved into a houseshare for second year. He moved back into halls for 3rd year simply because he got his meals provided, cleaning done, sheets washed etc and he cba.

women will be expected to pitch in with the housework and pull their domestic weight, as well as hold down a job etc. it’s easier for women to live independently where they only need to do their own washing, cooking and cleaning, not do a share of mums and dads as well.

that’s the sad reality.

GrumpyPanda · 11/01/2025 10:32

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Found the man! Or should I say, found the incel.

DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole · 11/01/2025 10:32

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FFS. Yeah, that's it, all young women are substituting their income with Only Fans so they can live independently 🙄

MinorGodhead · 11/01/2025 10:32

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Only an utter weirdo would think of this as an explanation. Sort out your internalised misogyny.

LittleRedRidingHoody · 11/01/2025 10:33

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Less that 0.1% of women are on OFs, and the average monthly income is £150. I don't think that's the difference.

Supersimkin7 · 11/01/2025 10:35

Incel bingo 😃.

Upstartled · 11/01/2025 10:35

With the difference of 12% of men and 5% of women at home at 35yrs I'd like to know how many have ever moved out, and how many have returned due to breakdowns in relationships and marriages.

DuesToTheDirt · 11/01/2025 10:36

I find it weird that these articles focus on the cost of a whole flat, or buying. Young people used to just share until they could afford a place of their own.

vodkaredbullgirl · 11/01/2025 10:36

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Wtf

Karou · 11/01/2025 10:37

I don’t think I could come up with an explanation. My adult DS lives at home but he also works very hard, does his own cooking and housework and generally pulls his weight. He lives at home because he can’t afford to buy a place and renting would be pointless when living at home and saving up to buy an home is an option.

CatPeachy · 11/01/2025 10:38

Karou · 11/01/2025 10:37

I don’t think I could come up with an explanation. My adult DS lives at home but he also works very hard, does his own cooking and housework and generally pulls his weight. He lives at home because he can’t afford to buy a place and renting would be pointless when living at home and saving up to buy an home is an option.

Is he in his 30s?

ComtesseDeSpair · 11/01/2025 10:40

Within that age bracket there are going to be plenty of women with children, who are entitled to housing and benefits as a result of being the main carer of those children, whereas men of the same age who are not the RP won’t be. If you look at the 18-25 bracket, the ratio of men/women still living with parents is very similar.

TankFlyBossWalkJamNittyGrittyIAmFromAMidSizeCity · 11/01/2025 10:41

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And all the men are paying for it, hence still living with parents and not having the money to move out.

Solid explanation 🤣

Ohthatsabitshit · 11/01/2025 10:42

6 year old boys are often at a different developmental stage to 6 year old girls.

CharSiu · 11/01/2025 10:42

My DS lives at home but he does chores every single day it’s not an option to not do them. If Mothers and Fathers choose to spoil their sons and let them get away with not helping but make their daughters then that is their parenting failure and why MN is full of women complaining their partners do nothing. It’s the old adage that Mothers spoil their sons isn’t it plus learned behaviour from their Fathers.

@Fleetheart Make him do chores, no chores means no food cooked, no clothes washed by you. Don’t worry about him not liking you, that’s the biggest issue in parenting. My DS can cook, clean and do laundry. Apart from the fact it means he can function like an adult it means he will make a good husband. I would feel I had failed any future potential partner of his if I had allowed him to be lazy and incapable. Make your son uncomfortable.

Heidiiii · 11/01/2025 10:47

I think that is a massive generalisation. I have 2 boys who are very independent, but DS1 finished university this summer (he is 23) and moved back home. We have plenty of space and it just makes sense cost of living wise while he saves up to buy a place with his girlfriend. I see the same happening amongst my friends, both boys and girls living at home to close to 30.

Heidiiii · 11/01/2025 10:48

I also really hate all the boys and men bashing on MN.

Nothatgingerpirate · 11/01/2025 10:48

Ohnonotmeagain · 11/01/2025 10:30

lol no.

it’s men prefer being looked after, and they are more likely to not be expected to do their share of cleaning, cooking etc. it’s easier for men to live at home.

I know a bloke at uni who lived in halls, then moved into a houseshare for second year. He moved back into halls for 3rd year simply because he got his meals provided, cleaning done, sheets washed etc and he cba.

women will be expected to pitch in with the housework and pull their domestic weight, as well as hold down a job etc. it’s easier for women to live independently where they only need to do their own washing, cooking and cleaning, not do a share of mums and dads as well.

that’s the sad reality.

Absolutely.
And better for them, too.

Cerialkiller · 11/01/2025 10:54

Could be lots of reasons.

Typical symptoms of autism in men and women differ and often women can more effectively mimic and so can deal with getting out of the house better and the social side of getting work and living independently.

More women then men go to uni which is good practice for living away and making friends who you may live with.

It's possibly that sone of the women are moving in with weather/older men rather then working and earning enough to live on their own personally.

Women tend to be better trained in life stuff so leaving home is less intimidating.

Women tend to perform better academically and possibly are more attractive for graduate jobs (before the inevitable maternity bias kicks in).

The council house answer above is interesting and may be a factor. Women with children are generally prioritised above single men. Single women with kids are more common then single men with kids.

Do we know if separated men are more or less likely to return to parents house then women? If there are kids involved and mothers are more likely to be primary parent, dad's are more likely to be the one moving out of the marital home and if the mother moves out with kids they are more likely to move to another property rather then to parents because of space issues.

NordicwithTeen · 11/01/2025 10:55

Families must teach their sons that not pulling their weight, obsessive porn use and not having any general desire to travel are not exciting prospects for a future wife (or husband). Men have to start teaching their sons how to be better humans. So many women on dating sites love reading/culture/brains, yet all the men don't read. It's depressing.

RupertCampbellBlacksEgo · 11/01/2025 10:58

Ohthatsabitshit · 11/01/2025 10:42

6 year old boys are often at a different developmental stage to 6 year old girls.

Do many 6 year olds want to get mortgages? 😄