Friends cancelled 30 mins before we were due to set off

[Monicageller221]

Had plans for last night that had been made since November. DP and I were meant to be travelling to our friends house, having a meal at a restaurant and then going back to theirs for some drinks.

It is a 45 minute drive away and they invited us to stay over so that we didn’t have to be spending money on a taxi back. The meal was already booked, and we had bought some alcohol to take with us for the evening and they also bought a bit, plus snacks.

We got all ready, bags were packed, hair done, make up done, outfit on. My sister had just arrived as she was staying at mine to look after the cats so I was downstairs having a conversation with her when DP shouted down “they’ve cancelled it!” Basically they had an argument due to the house not being tidy and one of them got into “a mood” and cancelled the whole thing. I told DP to just give it 30 mins until it’s time to leave and they might have calmed down by then. However they never picked up the phone again.

Part of me is really annoyed at this, I would never let someone down like this. Especially over the reason that they did! However another part of me is thinking maybe the messy house thing isn’t true and something else has gone on more serious? DP is really annoyed by it and thinks it was selfish to cancel so short notice without a good reason.

What would you think if this happened to you, would you be annoyed? Or this a this an ok thing to do to people?

A way of controlling another’s life, putting up a fuss. Unfortunately there are deeper issues in that relationship, you should def talk to your friend what’s going on.

Unreasonable. Get over it.

I would have phoned the restaurant to change the booking and go along and eat, just not drink so I could drive home. Their loss

Being a guest is a privilege not a right. Accept the fact (for whatever reason) they weren't in the right place to entertain you.
PS cats don't need sitters for an overnight stay unless you're one of those guests who hang around the following day, out-staying their welcome. Hang on I've cracked it. 😁

Would you want to be with people who were in the middle of an argument? I wouldn't.

I'd be frustrated, but my primary concern is for my friend's situation. If this were the first time, I’d likely focus more on supporting them than feeling annoyed. I actually admire their honesty in the matter—it’s something I respect. You could’ve chosen to just have a meal or a girls’ night, but I understand why it unfolded the way it did. After 25 years of marriage, we've faced challenges, some even more difficult than this. It really highlights who my true friends are.
At the end of the day, you never truly know what’s going on in someone else’s relationship, no matter how much you think you understand.

Give it a couple days and text your friend and ask if everything is ok.

It’s not the nicest thing, but things happen.

You have every right to be annoyed

Imagine what the atmosphere would've been like. Crap happens. Give them the benefit.

I hope you both went out anyway

Yeah it must have been bad to cancel like that I would try to offer support. See if they need help they could be really struggling

I guess op wont post on here again. If she does maybe she'll limit the excess info as that seems to have got more response than the reason for contacting this Some responses have been terrible

Crap happens, carry on with you own lives and don't bother with other people

I don't think you're being unreasonable exactly, but I also don't think your friends would have cancelled without good reason. And what might be a good reason for them might not seem so for you. I would just chalk this up to experience and be wary next time they want to make arrangements. But if this has never happened before then I think you could give them a little leeway.

Bit of a leap there

Do you or them have kids?

@Butthechildrentheylovethebooks we had that same holiday!

Worst had to be Menorca. Dullest holiday ever.

Sorry wrong thread. As you were.

Completely 100% understand for u and your partner it would be frustrating

However their relationship can’t be in the good place so we have to sympathise, I’d try not to waste any more thoughts on it, let it go and appreciate that at least your not in that situation

I’ve been I the situation of the other couple and got so use to masking my feelings when people came round, so good for them they just spoke out and have come to terms with that their relationship isn’t ideal rather than worrying about saving face

If your friends are normally not like this and this is the first time it’s happened then allow it, I’ve forgiven friends who have been short with me in the past because it was a one-off and you can’t let one ‘off’ experience with them wash out everything that’s been fun and good between you guys.

Find other swingers in your area.

If someone cancels, crack on and don't worry about it. If you were to read a newspaper or watch the news you should realise there are more things to worry about in life.
Things happen in life that are beyond our control so make the most of things that you can control. And if the shoe was on the other foot, you would expect them to be OK if you cancelled last minute.

What does DP stand for?