To think it isn't my responsibility to provide period products for adult dd.

[Mairzydotes]

I don't know if this my hormones talking, but I've just been in the bathroom and there are no pads left because my nearly 20 year old dd has used them all. I put those there for me.

My dd works , and I don't think it's my responsibility to provide them for her anymore.

It wouldn't occur to me that sanpro was specific to one household member. We just share. It's a household expense like toilet roll. We order it from Amazon on subscription along with toilet roll, kitchen roll, coffee etc.

I think YANBU to be upset you needed some and she's used them all without replacing or mentioning it to you but I think YBVU to begrudge her using them.

This. OP went to use the sanitary products to find there’s none left. DD didn’t mention she used tte last. This is the issue here.

Does she financially contribute? If you use the same brand I would think of them the same as milk or paracetmol. Just another grocery item to be added to the shopping by whoever sees you need more.

You might be right , it's not about the products themselves, it's about me having to think on everyone else's behalf .

I would have a chat with your dd about this as she probably hasn’t even thought about it.

It sounds as much like annoyance that she used them all up without telling you as anything else.

How do you do the rest of your shopping incl shampoo toothpaste etc? Does she pay into this?

It might be an idea for her just to pay a bit more into the shopping and buy twice as much sanpro as it’s often 241. And then have a system about letting each other know if it’s run short?

Or otherwise just have a chat and make it clear that from now on your each buying your own san pro, as well as any other toiletry items etc

Not just san pro but I do keep a separate 'stash' for emergencies as I don't think young adults think ahead that much.
That way I've still got something to use then & there & I'd text them to pick some more up if I wasn't shopping myself.
It's not worth falling out over but it can be really frustrating.
They'll get there.

Can't you just say to her now "pop to the shops and stock us back up please"?

I wouldn't begrudge her using them but woe betide any of my kids who don't write things on the shopping list when we're running low.

And I'd expect a working 19 yr old to check that list and grab a few things when they're out and about.

Especially something as time-sensitive as period pads!

I can see where the confusion arose. Tell her she needs to buy her own in future, same as she does with her toiletries.

I’ve only got a boy, but he knows that he can use my basic body cream if he needs it but not my face cream.

I only have sons so in theory only have myself to think about in respect of period products.

That said my eldest's GF regularly sleeps over it has never occurred to me to suggest she's brings her own period stuff in the same way I don't expect her to bring toilet roll.

Like PP I monitor my stock regularly and replace as needed. No idea if the GF has used any period products in my house or not I don't stock take.

Washable pads/pants avoids the problem of getting caught short.

But surely the OP stocks the basics for the household, such a toothpaste, shower gel etc? Pads are a basic. Therefore they should be just as available and stocked as loo roll / toothpaste etc is.

I understand keeping designer smellies or stuff you get for your hirthday separate for sole us, but not stuff like this.

When I was a single parent , I bought period products for me and my two daughters.
That's one thing I made sure we always had in the bathroom cupboard.

What's your "agreement" with regards to toiletries etc?

I have a DS who lives at home, and a DD who sometimes lives at home (at university) and I explicitly said to both of them when they started earning their own money that I provide the basic things available in the bathroom which would include period products for DD.

However, they are also responsible for putting items on the shopping list if they notice we are running short. Which I suspect might be the bit that OP should focus on?

I think she probably thought it's like toilet paper - if it's available in the bathroom then I can use them. As an aside, we do actually pay for my adult DSD's sanitary protection because we see it as a household item, even though I don't need them any more. We wanted to remove any stigma or embarrassment for her when she moved in with us.

I think it’s more the inconvenience of thinking you’ve got plenty of something only to find it has disappeared when you need it.

My adult working DD lives at home (though she’s at her boyfriend’s place more than she’s here) and she’s supposed to buy her own toiletries. We don’t even share a bathroom but she still clears me out. She will even come home for ten minutes to ‘pick up some clothes’, but goes into my bathroom and fills a bag with my shampoo, conditioner, makeup wipes, shower gel etc. The next time I go for a shower there’s nothing! It’s intensely annoying.

I usually keep mine in my room but I always ask the young adults if they need anything on the shopping list and would happily still buy them if I was going anyway.

Periods are done for me but I still keep a pack in for my DS's GF's and my female vistors just in case they are needed
It's inconsiderate of her not to tell you she used the last one, but honestly, don't sweat the small stuff.

Surely you just fling them in the trolley in the supermarket ? Seriously not seeing the issue here. Unless money is incredibly tight in which case 💐

She currently doesn't pay anything towards household expenses.

She has been buying her own shampoo and shower gels since she started earning, I suppose she buys things that are to her preference.

I think that's what is annoying me she's used the pads with wings , that I like and she doesn't, instead of buying herself ones she does like.

I would begrudge her taking the last one and not telling me, but my adult dd lives at home and can have anything she likes from my toiletries as I earn far more than her. We always make sure she puts whatever she likes on the shopping list too. I voted YABU because this is a simple chat not something to slag her off about.

I bulk buy them and ensure there's always some in the house for me, my 20 year old and 15 year old. It wouldn't occur to me not to buy them. They are in the house for anyone who needs them, including their friends who visit.

@JimHalpertsWife given that we all have preferences re san pro, e.g I use reusable things except when I go away, I’m not sure I would count it as a household basic.

I lived at home until 23 and they always just came under standard household groceries like food, toilet roll and non-luxury shampoo and shower gel.

If you want to change the way things are run then that's fine but you need to talk to her. If you just want her to tell you when she notices supplies are running low, then tell her that.