AIBU – For wanting to break up with my 23 year old partner because he sleeps with a stuffed animal?

[DeliciousDonuts]

For context, we are both 23 years old, and this is my first ever serious relationship. I will be honest, I am a bit naive when it comes to romantic relationships, I’ve never really had the chance to date much and I don’t know what a “good” partner/guy looks like? If that makes any sense? My Dad is a pile of dirt who cheats like no tomorrow, and the few friends I’ve got, have gotten unlucky with men of our age so far.

I’ll just cut straight to the chase, my current boyfriend has this massive 15 (20?) foot long stuffed dragon that he sleeps with every night that I am not there. Its like one of those serpent dragons that you’d see in Chinese or Japanese folklore. He hugs it, works on it to add details, hand washes it etc.

I’m just really struggling to understand why a 23-year old guy would need this? Its not like this stuffed animal is a childhood toy either, he literally builds a new one every year just “for the fun of it”.

It makes even less sense, because he just seems so… “normal” otherwise? He’s not coping with trauma, his family is so loving, he’s emotionally intelligent, very confident in his own skin (to the point of openly discussing the damn thing with his friends on occasion.)

Am I just… overthinking things here? Trying to find something wrong with him when there isn’t anything wrong at all? My gut tells me there is something wrong about this situation, but I’d really appreciate some other perspectives on this.

I do want to point out that he’s not without redeeming qualities though. He drives me to work at 5-6am most days even though he starts at 9am. Prioritises spending time with me above his friends, wants to play and watch games/shows that I like (even though I know he hates them), listens to me, holds hands etc. Things I’d expect most men to do regardless.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love him, he's been an amazing first boyfriend (especially looks wise, he’s like an asian Robert Pattinson.) But I cannot ignore my feelings about his stuffed animal, I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he’s adamant about having one for the foreseeable future.

As I said before, I’m not very experienced in dating or men, and would appreciate any perspectives you can all give on the matter. Am I being reasonable in considering breaking up? Is it a bit of a mixed bag? Perhaps not?

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Why would it be made like that??

Aww it's his carry on 😁

Ideal emotional support animal.

It could be worse ...

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1515520690/giant-spider-sleeping-plush-for-adults

I thought by 'stuffed animal' you meant a taxidermised badger, which would have been unreasonable.

Me too! Unreasonable and quite uncomfortable I imagine.

If it exists I can't believe it's 20 feet, you'd surely have to curl it around the room.

"Its not like this stuffed animal is a childhood toy either, he literally builds a new one every year just “for the fun of it”."
He actually makes a 15-20 foot long stuffed dragon from scratch? Given how popular full-body pillows are, I'd be suggesting that he could make a business out of his dragons!

TBH, he sounds pretty creative ("works on it to add details").

So yes, overall you may be looking for problems that aren't there. But, if as you say your "gut tells me there is something wrong about this situation" then that sensation is unlikely to change and this is not the relationship for you. But do mention the possibility of making a business out of it as you chuck him.

He sounds lovely

Lovely though this tale is, I can't help but be reminded of a Greg Davies story I read recently about a large homemade teddy... 😬

Love your sister.

You mean 20 inches don’t you?

Well there you go. I was right in my previous post, boyfriend's dragon is real and is only pretending to be a stuffed toy when OP is around.

I bet that's a photo of OP's boyfriend, look how he's schlepping all the luggage, just like OP's boyfriend would, as well as carrying the dragon on his back, and that dragon in that photo is most definitely real.

@ToKittyornottoKitty I have no idea how to make a dragon so asked

Unless has an actual dragon making soft toy kit - which is unlikely as so big - I wondered how he made it

Don't worry. A neighbour has a hand-made, life sized Elvis in his garden. Stays outside though. Doesn't seem to cause any problems. Uh huh.

Made up. She's not back giving better description of what he does with the 3 m monsters he produces each year

If it was a childhood toy, fair enough. It does sound like he is a bit tooo invested in it perhaps.
I could overlook it though if he was otherwise normal and lovely (and looks fine by the sound of it).

If you dump him because of this minor issue when he has many redeeming features and good qualities then you’d probably regret it one day. Probably the day you realise your next bf might not sleep with a cuddly toy but has many negatives.

My DD has a Simba stuffed toy that she has had since she was 5. She is almost 17 and wherever she goes overnight, Simba goes too. I guess it’s just comforting for her, and I don’t see anything wrong with that.

As an aside of this thread some of the comments have made me smile with you having your comforters and teddies love it.

Op is this him?

They're a thing on Etsy

He makes these dragons from scratch and adds things and embellishes them?
He doesnt just 'have' a stuffed toy. Hes creating intricate fabric dragons?

Sounds like he does loads for you, and he has this hobby which makes him happy.

I think its ok for people to like the things they like. It isnt harming anyone.
If it gives you the ick then that's up to you, but i dont think there's anything wrong with it, and tbh, most people have their quirks

20 foot long?

Well that's adorable.

I'm 31 and have an entire plush collection. I rotate through them so they take it in turns at night so no one feels left out 🙈

This is making me laugh so much. He sounds absolutely lovely tbh. I'm struggling to picture a twenty foot dragon stuffed toy but presume, due to it's magical dragon powers it makes itself smaller when required. Look, if he isn't doing peculiar sexual things with it, and gallantly removed it when you are there I don't think you have anything to worry about. Think of it as a custom made support pillow.

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