AIBU – For wanting to break up with my 23 year old partner because he sleeps with a stuffed animal?

[DeliciousDonuts]

For context, we are both 23 years old, and this is my first ever serious relationship. I will be honest, I am a bit naive when it comes to romantic relationships, I’ve never really had the chance to date much and I don’t know what a “good” partner/guy looks like? If that makes any sense? My Dad is a pile of dirt who cheats like no tomorrow, and the few friends I’ve got, have gotten unlucky with men of our age so far.

I’ll just cut straight to the chase, my current boyfriend has this massive 15 (20?) foot long stuffed dragon that he sleeps with every night that I am not there. Its like one of those serpent dragons that you’d see in Chinese or Japanese folklore. He hugs it, works on it to add details, hand washes it etc.

I’m just really struggling to understand why a 23-year old guy would need this? Its not like this stuffed animal is a childhood toy either, he literally builds a new one every year just “for the fun of it”.

It makes even less sense, because he just seems so… “normal” otherwise? He’s not coping with trauma, his family is so loving, he’s emotionally intelligent, very confident in his own skin (to the point of openly discussing the damn thing with his friends on occasion.)

Am I just… overthinking things here? Trying to find something wrong with him when there isn’t anything wrong at all? My gut tells me there is something wrong about this situation, but I’d really appreciate some other perspectives on this.

I do want to point out that he’s not without redeeming qualities though. He drives me to work at 5-6am most days even though he starts at 9am. Prioritises spending time with me above his friends, wants to play and watch games/shows that I like (even though I know he hates them), listens to me, holds hands etc. Things I’d expect most men to do regardless.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love him, he's been an amazing first boyfriend (especially looks wise, he’s like an asian Robert Pattinson.) But I cannot ignore my feelings about his stuffed animal, I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he’s adamant about having one for the foreseeable future.

As I said before, I’m not very experienced in dating or men, and would appreciate any perspectives you can all give on the matter. Am I being reasonable in considering breaking up? Is it a bit of a mixed bag? Perhaps not?

If the Daily Mail picks this up, you may have some questions to answer.

I'm 39 and a side sleeper I have a long pregnancy like pillow that look like a pig i personally wouldn't be able to sleep comfortably if I didn't have it.

If that is the worse thing he has then you are in for a shock with the rest of the male population.

If your unhappy about the pillow you are allowed to brake up over it but be prepared for people to look at you a little bit funny as this is such a minor thing compared with what he dose for you.

That's a bit harsh isn't it

I thought everyone was a side sleeper 😳

I'd find dragon quite endearing. It obviously helps him to sleep and he sounds skilled at making them. Does he do them on commission??

IF he had an anatomically correct life sized Ewok, THEN I'd get freaked and call it quits! Apart from that I'd be fine with it. I have two plushy Simbas - one at my place and one at my BF's place to hug if we have to sleep separately due his disabilities. He has a couple of his old Teddies in cupboard, but hugs a pillow when he sleeps in a similar manner to when he spoons against me.

(Yes the Ewok sex doll is a real thing! Two threads on Reddit and a few adult memes about it! 🤣 Can't imagine what was going through the gf's/wife's mind when she found it 😳)

You don’t have to try. You don’t need permission to leave. If you don’t like that he sleeps with a stuffed dragon you’re allowed to leave. You don’t owe him anything.

Please tell me you do not intend to work in a profession where depth perception or distance measurement is a requirement.

Tricky one. On the one hand, he sounds a really nice guy and a good partner. He also sounds like he is in touch with his emotions. How refreshing not to be with a toxically masculine ‘alpha male’ type who scoffs at anything involving feelings or remotely ‘soft’. He’s not afraid to hug something at night that gives him comfort when he’s on his own In a way that’s quite enlightened. He would most likely be a good father who wouldn’t, for example, tease his son for cuddling a teddy or playing with dolls.
I also agree that this dragon sounds like one of those long cushions that some people use for extra comfort in bed. Similarly to how weighted blankets help some people feel less anxious and sleep more soundly. It sounds like he likes to be cocooned in and that’s not unusual.
On the other hand, you feel how you feel and I can also see why this might seem very strange. Only you know if you can get past it or whether you are looking for reasons to move on from this relationship. The fact that your post asks this very question rings alarm bells for me that that might be exactly what you are doing even if unconsciously.

I would love to know if he does commissions, my special person would love one, as his Twitch username and the name we all call him by has dragon in it.

Be careful of ditching him for such a small thing. He sounds on the whole, wonderful, and let me tell you men who look after you in the way he does are very rare. I would wonder if your experiences of your dad and your observations of your friends relationships have made you wary and a bit suspicious- maybe too quick to spot a fault because you are expecting one.

My partner has stuffed animals on the bed, I’m not a fan. I see them as childish, unhygienic and just unnecessary. HOWEVER, I love my partner and most other things about them, so I keep my mouth shut and keep a clear boundary on my side of the bed 😂😂
I have an annoying (actually perfect and adorable) cat that climbs all over the bed in the night, my partner tolerates her. All about give and take x

I've recently started sleeping with my old childhood toy again after 25 years. I'm sleeping so well! I just get so much comfort from it. I'm married and my husband finds it quite sweet, he sometimes steals it if it meanders to his side.

Don't be hard on yourself.

BTW my 4 year old is obsessed with dragons and aall things chinese. She even wants me to read to her in Chinese. Unfortunately I don't speak any languages from China. She wants us to holiday there, eat Chinese food etc. She would absolutely love a 20ft Chinese dragon!!!

This man isn't for you. He needs a woman who let's him be him self! What a wonderful hobby he has, and there are woman out there who will encourage and appreciate him...... it's not you. Ypu will be miserable, critical and hate his hobbies..... and both of you will suffer. This isn't your person, please move on for both of you. Please don't stay with someone who.isnt yours to keep. He needs to find his person as much as you need to find yours.

My husband has a Felix the cat Teddy he sleeps with, never bothered me in the slightest