AIBU – For wanting to break up with my 23 year old partner because he sleeps with a stuffed animal?

[DeliciousDonuts]

For context, we are both 23 years old, and this is my first ever serious relationship. I will be honest, I am a bit naive when it comes to romantic relationships, I’ve never really had the chance to date much and I don’t know what a “good” partner/guy looks like? If that makes any sense? My Dad is a pile of dirt who cheats like no tomorrow, and the few friends I’ve got, have gotten unlucky with men of our age so far.

I’ll just cut straight to the chase, my current boyfriend has this massive 15 (20?) foot long stuffed dragon that he sleeps with every night that I am not there. Its like one of those serpent dragons that you’d see in Chinese or Japanese folklore. He hugs it, works on it to add details, hand washes it etc.

I’m just really struggling to understand why a 23-year old guy would need this? Its not like this stuffed animal is a childhood toy either, he literally builds a new one every year just “for the fun of it”.

It makes even less sense, because he just seems so… “normal” otherwise? He’s not coping with trauma, his family is so loving, he’s emotionally intelligent, very confident in his own skin (to the point of openly discussing the damn thing with his friends on occasion.)

Am I just… overthinking things here? Trying to find something wrong with him when there isn’t anything wrong at all? My gut tells me there is something wrong about this situation, but I’d really appreciate some other perspectives on this.

I do want to point out that he’s not without redeeming qualities though. He drives me to work at 5-6am most days even though he starts at 9am. Prioritises spending time with me above his friends, wants to play and watch games/shows that I like (even though I know he hates them), listens to me, holds hands etc. Things I’d expect most men to do regardless.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love him, he's been an amazing first boyfriend (especially looks wise, he’s like an asian Robert Pattinson.) But I cannot ignore my feelings about his stuffed animal, I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he’s adamant about having one for the foreseeable future.

As I said before, I’m not very experienced in dating or men, and would appreciate any perspectives you can all give on the matter. Am I being reasonable in considering breaking up? Is it a bit of a mixed bag? Perhaps not?

When I first started seeing DH I used to sleep under dangling climbing ropes and stacks of bike bits. In the bed obviously, but he had racks of shelving around the room housing all his hobbies.
Think 'outdoor shop storeroom' and you'll get an idea of the atmosphere.
It was a bit depressing and utilitarian for a bedroom, but it was just a part of who he was and I really, really admired his quirky approach to decoration (ahem)...

If he builds one every year - what does he do with them? And how many has he built thus far?

I once dumped someone for wearing hideous trainers. Do what you want but you may look back and regret being so shallow.

OP has gone awol!

Yes...OP, can you please ask your boyfriend how much it would cost if I commissioned him to make one for me? Can you also send a picture?

Everybody's different.. there's nothing "abnormal" about what he's doing. I'm sure he doesn't tell everyone he does this, it's just a comfort thing. And it seems he only does it when you're not there - which is quite sweet really.

I'd love to see Robert Pattinson hand washing a 30ft dragon

Nothing helpful to add to the thread, but I kind of want a partner with a soft toy now. They sound all wholesome.

Sounds quirky but fine. However it sounds like it gives you the ick. You can dump him for any reason you like but as PPs have said, not all men have the good qualities you’ve listed and certainly not all of them would drive you to work every day at 5am (also it can’t possibly be 20ft long)

It’s very weird and I think it would make me like him even more.

She said he made it

Yes, take note @coxesorangepippin WHOLESOME.

None of your double entendres here...

I’d find it quite endearing to be honest. But then again I’m a 29 year old mum of 2 who has a whole wall of shelves for my Squishmallows and Jellycats 😂

My husband is 40, we've been together 15 years and he sleeps with this soft stuffed American football 😁 apart from it driving me nuts when it makes its way across to my side, it's nothing sinister. DH is loving, caring, respectful and a brilliant husband and dad

Take a picture of it
Might be just a favourite colour, textile and some added spiritual nuance to him, Asians love dragons right

as a christian I personally is demonic, but for him might be just one of their whatevers - do your own research

Is this it?

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1341238241/giant-dragon-pillow-9-long

It's only 9ft though.

'Unnecessarily large'! 😂

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/839066281/unnecessarily-large-ryu-ramen-commission?clickkey=ad4cc640cf62ca11413daba0162f93970b33809a%3A839066281&clickksum=72b3eda2&external=1&ref=landingpagesimilarrlisting_top-1

Apparently, the largest crocodile recorded was 21 feet long. So that gives some idea just how big this thing is.

It must weigh an absolute ton.

Are you sure it actually a stuffed toy dragon OP and not a real dragon that pretends to be a stuffed toy when you're around (yes, I know dragons don't actually exist).

Are you in the UK because if you are I'm surprised that you'd be talking about measurements in feet, considering your age. Perhaps you're getting feet and inches mixed up?

If op's boyfriend made something like that (crocheted and knitted) then that is seriously impressive, especially given that his is twice the size of the one here.

I wasn't expecting it to be that expensive, though.

YANBU to break up with anyone for any random reason you want or to find anything icky but I don’t think crafting a 20ft dragon every year for fun and sleeping with it is inherently icky in the way something like those men up who have sex dolls or wear rubber masks. I think it’s a slightly (or very) more off beat version of men who wear football shirts or have a stormtrooper costume or have a special display case for Lego. Out of that list of pick the dragon first.

This x1000.

I am 61 and sleep with two stuffed chipmunks since my dogs died. I don't panic without them; it's lighthearted but i like somethng soft and furry for my hands to clutch. And i also use one of those long "body pillows" to keep my leg elevated and lower back comfortable.

I reckon you’ve just gone off him. There doesn’t have to be a rationale for that, but I think you’re trying to make one. The logical side of you is saying that he’s handsome, kind, emotionally intelligent and an all round good guy, but you’ve hit on the dragon toy as a kind of excuse.

Think about whether it’s him or whether it’s the dragon.

I think it's fine. It's a creative hobby .. I can see how it's unusual but I think he sounds lovely and if this is the worst you've got on him then he's a good one!

Bloody hell, over £1200 for a not very impressive dragon. And small, apparently, at only 9 feet

How would you house a 20 feet long dragon. It would need it's own room. Or two.

I sleep with my childhood teddy bear when my husband is away, don’t think it’s a big deal.