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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have hated every job ive ever had?

206 replies

Coffeeebean · 06/01/2025 07:16

Just as the title says really – I hate my current job, and I have come to realise that I have hated every single job I have ever had.

I currently work for the civil service and today is my first day back since the 24th. I didn’t sleep a wink last night because I was so anxious and full of dread, and I’ve already been in tears this morning. I have worked in a few other civil service roles, in education (non-teaching), with animals and in hospitality and grown to hate every single one.

Its usually around the 6 month point that the boredom and dread start to set in and I start having thoughts like ‘maybe I could just have a minor car crash and have a few days off’ (not ideal)..

I find the constant interaction and pressure to deliver exhausting. I don’t have ‘passion’ for anything I’m working on so just get so bored and fed up. I definitely don’t have a ‘dream job’, and above all else I completely resent the loss of freedom and the manic Monday-Friday trying to fit everything in, for the weekend to fly by and having to start all over again.

Does anyone else feel like this? How do you cope?

Ive been so happy the last 10 days and immidiately just feel awful now i have to go back. The thought of doing this for another 40 years makes me feel like theres really no point to any of it, but everyone else just seems to get on with it and be perfectly fine!

What am I doing wrong?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 06/01/2025 07:21

How do you fill your weekends, is there anything you enjoy, or do you feel like you’re just trudging through life?

Changed18 · 06/01/2025 07:22

Sounds like you haven’t found the job that’s right for you. Is there anything you do like about it? Anything you liked/didn’t like about previous jobs?

HoundsOfHelfire · 06/01/2025 07:25

Go get some careers advice. Morrisby website maybe?

holju · 06/01/2025 07:27

I feel the same, totally lacking in motivation, and I find office politics exhausting.

Mounjarry · 06/01/2025 07:27

My sister is like this, she's incredibly bright and capable, but finds working corporate jobs soul destroying and job hops (mostly on promotion to be fair) every 12 months or so. She has a very fulfilling and packed life outside of work but she says that makes it worse as she has better things to be doing 🫠 not sure of the answer, but you aren't alone!

northernballer · 06/01/2025 07:28

I feel the same, although it takes about 3 years for me to start hating everything.

WhatNoRaisins · 06/01/2025 07:29

I'm not sure that there is an answer to this, I think some of us do just hate work whatever the job is.

AtlasPine · 06/01/2025 07:30

Is there any way you could plan to eventually work for yourself in some capacity? You’d probably work just as hard but would be only answerable to you.

Can you isolate what factor it is about going to work which makes you feel this way?

Trite I know but life is so precious. If you’re at all able to plan for a happier working life you won’t regret it.

SleepToad · 06/01/2025 07:30

Perhaps you need to reassess your thoughts about work/life. The famous fell walker Wainwright was a civil servant, purely to live near the fells and have the time/money to walk.
No one really likes working. Your not alone. But it pays for the things we do like doing.

My attitude is I work to live not live to work.

Waterboatlass · 06/01/2025 07:30

I mean, to an extent it's why you're paid for it but I think it might be worth speaking to a careers coach and trying to identify what you may enjoy more. Maybe something with less 9-5 shifts and less predictable stress patterns, something clinical maybe if you've got the capacity to retrain? There's the whole world of IT, coding and tech (which I know nothing about). Perhaps you feel too generalist and it doesn't need to be a burning desire for a certain subject but you'd be happier picking an area and concentrating on it? Either retraining as I say or working your way into it via CS opportunities (I took a different path but was offered a funded masters).

What's your life like outside work in terms of interests?

WobblyBoots · 06/01/2025 07:31

I'm like this 100%. For me it is anxiety and not the job. I get stressed that I'll mess something up, won't be able to do a task, will look like an idiot (I'm mid career in a professional job so shouldn't be feeling like this!). So it's impossible for me to enjoy the job while I'm stressing about jt. So in my case, it's not the job it's me.

I have had a job I enjoyed when I graduated. I was in a really supportive team and it made me feel really confident.

Have you been able to pin point what thoughts start that feeling of dread?

Tumblingthrough · 06/01/2025 07:32

I do feel, particularly as this keeps recurring, that this is a state of mind. Obviously finding a job you love is the answer and careers advice could be a great idea, but also look at how you can change your way of thinking to enjoy your time at work more. You’re already accepting you will hate it today and you absolutely can change that mindset.

Agix · 06/01/2025 07:34

You're not alone OP and you're not doing anything wrong. Working sucks. It sucks for some of us more than others. I think some people can still be moderately happy with 5 days a week being eaten up. Healthy enough to enjoy their time off fully, which keeps them satisfied. I have chronic illness which means my time off is basically necessities such as showering, brushing my teeth, trying to eat, as many house chores as I can (still not enough) and then basically nothing else ever as I have no energy and feel dreadfully unwell. If it weren't for needing to work, maybe life would be worth living, becauwe I'd get to do some nice things.

RobinHood19 · 06/01/2025 07:34

What do you like to do in life? Is there any hobby or interest that could be turned into a job - if you like travel and planning holidays, become a travel agent? If you like history and visiting sites, something to do with history / art history / environmental planning?

I must admit a regular job with a routine wouldn’t work for me. I made my hobby my career (entertainment / arts industry). It’s my passion so I love doing it - even though there are moments I hate it and wish I could stay home, just like in any job. No two weeks are the same, and there is variety in my schedule and lots of travel. This week I’m working a standard 8 hours during the day. Next week it’s late afternoons, the week after a mixture of early mornings and late evenings (6pm-midnight). Not very family-friendly, but I never have a boring day.

Durrbraino · 06/01/2025 07:35

Start your own business? It sounds as if it’s employment you don’t like rather than work.

Durrbraino · 06/01/2025 07:38

Alternatively, depending on what you do could you switch to temp contract work (maternity covers etc)? If you enjoy the first few months this might suit you better. Doesn’t have the security and perks of employment but tends to pay better.

CouldItBeAnyMoreObvious · 06/01/2025 07:38

High class prostitute; you can work where and when you want
Find a VHNW person and marry them
Or try careers counselling

malificent7 · 06/01/2025 07:44

Yanbu. For example....I like my job but the politics are awful ...bitching is next level and realised very early on that this is not forever.
I suspect I am neuro diverse and therefore find other people a mystery. To make matters worse the pay dosn't make up for the cost of living.

1457bloom · 06/01/2025 07:46

I agree, I hate work, but that's why you get paid for it. The only people who enjoy it are the clever people who quickly climb the ladder and get paid more, it's just game for them. For the rest of us it's just a hard slog for 40 years.

Climbinghigher · 06/01/2025 07:49

Tumblingthrough · 06/01/2025 07:32

I do feel, particularly as this keeps recurring, that this is a state of mind. Obviously finding a job you love is the answer and careers advice could be a great idea, but also look at how you can change your way of thinking to enjoy your time at work more. You’re already accepting you will hate it today and you absolutely can change that mindset.

Yes potentially this. I know someone who seems to hates any work when thinking about it, although is fine when in there. Although there is the possibility that you may be in the wrong type of job.

I know I can’t work in the corporate world. I have worked for small companies or for myself in a variety of different industries/areas and generally enjoyed work. Some jobs I loved, some were fine and paid the bills. I know I would hate and loathe any work for a large organisation - even if on paper it was my dream job (have dipped toes in enough to run a mile).

MissysMeemaw · 06/01/2025 07:51

I don't think we are designed to work so hard. We don't need to. The world is set up that we need to slog away for the system. You are merely feeling this.
Read The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists (it's free to download, and a short read). Made total sense to me.
Of course there are jobs that need doing, but I think we could have a far better work life balance, we should work for fewer years, and for fewer days per week. Those who love working or want to, are free to do so. The rest of us can enjoy leisure pursuits and time with our families. I wish we had a universal basic income system. Look up UBI.

There are very few people who have jobs they love, or are "doing something they love so much that it doesn't feel like a job". Lucky them. For the rest of us, it's a hard, stressful, depressing grind.

Cosycore · 06/01/2025 07:52

I hear you OP.

You’re not doing anything wrong.

mnreader · 06/01/2025 07:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Ginmonkeyagain · 06/01/2025 07:55

Sounds like you would benefit some therapy. Some workplaces can be toxic and some jobs horrible, but If you have hated every job you have ever done, then it is a you issue.

You talk about resenting the loss of freedom, we all do a bit - but most of us have no choice but to work. We are selling our time to an employer in exchange for money.

As others have said if you have a passion you could think about work as purely a means to an end - like a household task. You do it to enable what you want to do. Or you could think aboit how you change the way you react to some of the negative workplace things. I like my job, it is interesting and makes a difference to people's lives, but there are annoying things about it, as there are with all jobs. You have to learn to accept the things you cannot change or you will be filled with resentment.

RaininSummer · 06/01/2025 07:56

I don't mind my job and as it goes, it's the best one I have had. However, like most,I only do it so I can do the things I enjoy more when I'm not at work. That's the deal. I'm sitting here now gearing up to plod through the rain for 20 mins to get there which is the worst part. I would rather stay here in the warm with my coffee, radio and book.