To have hated every job ive ever had?

[Coffeeebean]

Just as the title says really – I hate my current job, and I have come to realise that I have hated every single job I have ever had.

I currently work for the civil service and today is my first day back since the 24th. I didn’t sleep a wink last night because I was so anxious and full of dread, and I’ve already been in tears this morning. I have worked in a few other civil service roles, in education (non-teaching), with animals and in hospitality and grown to hate every single one.

Its usually around the 6 month point that the boredom and dread start to set in and I start having thoughts like ‘maybe I could just have a minor car crash and have a few days off’ (not ideal)..

I find the constant interaction and pressure to deliver exhausting. I don’t have ‘passion’ for anything I’m working on so just get so bored and fed up. I definitely don’t have a ‘dream job’, and above all else I completely resent the loss of freedom and the manic Monday-Friday trying to fit everything in, for the weekend to fly by and having to start all over again.

Does anyone else feel like this? How do you cope?

Ive been so happy the last 10 days and immidiately just feel awful now i have to go back. The thought of doing this for another 40 years makes me feel like theres really no point to any of it, but everyone else just seems to get on with it and be perfectly fine!

What am I doing wrong?

It's not meant to be a cutting jibe, at all. It's meant to be a valid point...a lot of people seem to have no idea, citing it to always be everyone else's problem. It's the management i, it's the colleagues, it's the workload, it's always blamed on something else.

I end up hating every job. It starts off OK but 12 months in I start to struggle but try ro limp on for another 12 to 18 months. I am just not built for it, or certainly not the roles that pay enough. The only.thing that has changed my mind set is saving like mad in order to retire early. 16 years left if I stop at 55. I won't likely stop entirely but by 55 I hope to be able to drop down to a very straightforward role 3 days a week. So be in a position where anything earnt after 55 is bonus money.

For me it's the falseness of it all that tips me over the edge. I've worked in all sorts of environments and they all expect you to at least pretend that the work really really matters to you personally. I get satisfaction out of doing something well for sure, but I am not so deluded to think that it has to be everything.

The OP seems pretty self-aware.

Also, bad management, colleagues, culture etc really are a thing, and some people may be unfortunate enough to encounter them in multiple jobs. I think there are enough truly demoralising workplaces out there that this is not even that unlikely.

I've seen situations where it's the person and situations where it's the company.

It's not always the case that it's the person. It's amazing how much shit a whole group of people will put up with.

@Coffeeebean could you get a job related to your interest in large animals?

After I graduated I went through 6 jobs in 3 years as I either became bored after 6 months or was sacked for showing a distinct lack of interest! I then decided to work in an area related to my hobby, which proved to be a very good decision. I’m retired now, but I’ve never regretted avoiding the corporate world even though I would have a much better pension.

I am in a similar position, OP. I’ve hated every job I’ve ever had. I dread going to work each day. I can’t sleep cos I’m worrying about the next day. I am so relieved when my working week is over.
There has got to be a better way to live than this. I don’t think that everyone out there loves their job, but surely not everyone hates their job? I’d be happy to be somewhere in the middle!

How is straight talking useful?

OP says, "I hate having a job, it's not this specific job, it's all jobs. Does anyone else relate and have any tips for coping?"

You say, "That's your problem. Deal with it."

She knows it's her problem. She would like to deal with it.

In some ways we are privileged to be able to choose the jobs we do. Someone alluded to the olden days - yes, it wasn't so long ago that you had no choice but to go into domestic service (my mum's generation) or do a job, any job that paid the bills, and you just got on with it whether you liked it or not. Think of miners! Doing a job you loved or going to university (the latter, my generation) didn't enter people's heads. And in very many countries - so much is literally about putting bread on the table, and it's 7 days a week. Sitting at a desk and leaving by 5 pm would be a dream.

I think of the Japanese corporate life where you couldn't leave until the boss did, or had to go with him after work to drinking establishments, regardless of whether you had a young family at home. I don't know if this is still the case, hopefully not!

So - remember in very many ways, this is a privileged position to be in, to complain about a job.

I know that doesn't help.

I do agree about trying to find a hybrid model within the civil service, which of course depends on the type of role you have. Or going to 4 days pw if at all possible - I remember dropping a Wednesday and that was fantastic because I knew I'd only have to do the job 2 days pw then have a break, then 2 more and then another 2 days off at the weekend and so on. It worked better than a Monday or Friday off with 4 long working days! If it was a tough week, I knew I only had 2 days to get through at a time.

I repeat my earlier point that we aren't all meant to slog our guts out from 15 to 75, with maybe a short break for child-rearing, offering our souls up to work 40 hours a week, five days a week, with three or four weeks off a year. That is not my idea of living. Those of us who hate work realise this. Yet we are labelled the odd ones! No. It is the recognition that much work is meaningless relentless nonsense, meant to stick us in the regime of work eat sleep repeat until we die, or are too old to enjoy life.
I again urge everyone to read The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists, which explains it all much better than I am doing here.

There are people who want to work, and that's great for them. But I maintain we have unnecessary systems in society and there is a better way for us all.

Have you ever considered you might be neuro divergent? Not enough to say for sure but getting bored and jumping jobs/career, struggling to make friendships, being exhausted with socialising can all be signs. Might be worth doing some research to see if you recognise any of the other criterias, especially inattentive ADHD in women.

I sympathize. I hate having to work. HATE it.

I hate the way you're defined by your job.
I hate having to pretend I give a sh*t.
I hate having to pretend I want to be there.
I hate the way people's egos and self-esteem hinge on their job.
I hate the way people scrabble and fight for a bit of status and power.
I hate having to take orders from people I don't like and don't respect.
I hate being forced to spend all day in a room with people I haven't chosen to be with.

When I was 15 and had to see the careers advisor, I said there was nothing I wanted to do. Now I'm in my 40s, there still isn't. I don't want a job. I dislike the majority of humans, and bitterly resent having to deal with them and their wretched little egos. I want to be left alone to read, paint, learn Russian, wander the countryside, watch the seasons change, chat to friends about books, etc.

could you consider doing something completely different? For example, see if you enjoy barista work with a view to eventually setting up your own cafe. Or a bookshop, or a leisure centre/gym, or whatever you like. Or take a role working with your large animals, if that’s possible.
Those jobs can be quite varied or at least have busy and/or interesting aspects, which makes them challenging in different ways to more office-type jobs.

I took the plunge to work for myself and although financially it’s tight and I need my OH’s support, I genuinely love my job and it’s now starting to throw up opportunities linked to my previous work, combining the two, and that’s really exciting. I also have much more flexibility and although balancing domestic and work tasks is stressful at times, I do have an element of picking and choosing when I tackle the different things I have to do.

You don’t have to stick to the 9-5 if it’s not working for you. Think outside the box a bit and have a look at roles in your favourite places to visit (shops, cafes, etc) or whatever tweaks your interest.

There is absolutely no job I would like to do that is worth my freedom and my flexibilty to spend time with my children, go to the gym, have a lay in, or an afternoon nap, go to the gym, binge a series of whatever, or a film, or go travelling. I had my kids quite late in life so had already worked 20+ years in the 9-5 model, and I was ok with it when I was young. I was in a position by then to not have to work for their early years, and it was BLISS. I need to work again now for the money, but I could quite easily fill my days pottering around, being creative, making the house look nice, and not being stressed running around fitting in work plus child-rearing duties. If we had Universal Basic Income, I would happily give up work (and I do part-time hours at the moment, self-employed, and I still hate it). I think those who have adjusted to the system are brainwashed into thinking work gives us purpose. It serves zero purpose to my life other than it pays the bills.

I have taken two gap years in my youth, and THAT is living. Coming back to the drudgery of work is miserable. And I have mostly worked with nice people, so it's not that so much as the feeling that there is more to life than work, and we aren't on this planet for very long.

I have never been able to work Monday to Friday 9-5.
Shifts and days off in the week are great , but hard to plan things.

If you’re able, taking a career break is a game changer. Having time to recharge, all of your time being yours and not having to beg for crumbs of annual leave!

I watched a vlog by a woman a few years ago that completely changed how I viewed working life. She explained that the current system of working until you’re elderly is relatively recent (taken from USSR I think) and is basically a scam. Slogging your guts out for 50 odd years and retiring when your best days are behind you. She was self employed and would save up for a couple of years and then take periodic career breaks and class them as a mini retirement, so she was making the most of her life while she still had her health and her youth.

OP, a career break should be available with the CS. If you’re in a position to I’d really recommend taking one.

If we had Universal Basic Income, I would happily give up work

I wish we did! It would make space for so much creativity and pleasure (people making art, music, acting because they don’t HAVE to get a 9-5 job just to pay rent).

You are not alone, I envy people who find a job they enjoy. I have never known what I wanted to do and have been lucky as I have had some pretty good jobs but once I get past that initial learning curve in a job I become bored rigid. And then I move on, I hate myself for doing it but I just can't stay.

I have a good personal life, happily married, nice home, but not as nice as it could be if I stopped messing about with jobs. I get frustrated, wind myself up and then off I pop to the next job. I now do contract work, its well paid and I move when I need to.

@Newname85
'I find the sense of entitlement unbelievable'

So you think the OP being honest about her struggles is being 'entitled'?

What she is saying is resonating with others too...

I've never enjoyed any job either OP and can't imagine I ever would. To me it's completely understandable - there are literally a million nicer, better, more interesting things I could be doing. So I work part time, work partly from home and it's much better. DH earns enough for us to be able to afford it, he used to be work obsessed but unfortunately now he's over it too.

I would also love it and would be able to spend more time volunteering in more worthwhile causes helping people etc.
but sadly a massive amount of the population need work to keep them busy and out of trouble. The devil makes work for idle hands or something

I can identify. Even when I initially loved a job, I eventually ended up hating it. There would be a change in management or duties, for instance, and the work environment would tank.

Yes some do, those who enjoy what they do and find it rewarding, those who tolerate what they do but know it pays the bills, those who don’t enjoy it but if they didn’t work not be able to afford the leisure they enjoy when they are not working.
In an ideal society we would maybe have a better balance of work and leisure, as a previous poster said there could be a universal basic income but it would have to come from somewhere.
A total change in how we live in the developed world might lead to work being less the thing that defines us and just a part of who we are but sadly that is unlikely to happen soon.
For many people unfortunately not working comes with ill health or with the inability to find work so doesn’t allow them the fitness or money to do all the leisure activities we enjoy so not working becomes quite soul destroying.

I have already commented a couple of times but just to add:

• I have no issues with having to work

• I have a massive issue with: the type of workplaces that are paralysed by politics/backstabbing; being expected to do the work of several people for a mediocre salary; being discriminated against because I have two long term health conditions; the lack of understanding of reasonable adjustments and disability; being expected to work long hours; being expected to be 'passionate' about the most mundane of jobs and always 'go the extra mile' or some other corporate nonsense.

Work is not my main focus in life. It is just a way to pay the bills and mortgage.
I also expect to be treated in the workplace decently and to pay me a decent wage. Unfortunately many companies can't even manage that.

I have had some serious health issues in the past five years, spent a fair amount of time in hospital and it has completely changed my outlook on life.

When things like that happen you realise that life is very short and fragile and that there are more important things than spending all your time in an office.

My employers during that period were absolutely vile and failed to support me. So I am now very cynical about work and how some companies view their staff.

I now work part-time and live a frugal life. No interest in ever working full time again.

Why even bother posting 😂 theres always one...

I dont have a crappy job. I have a very respectable well paid job. Its still shite doing it every day.