To have hated every job ive ever had?

[Coffeeebean]

Just as the title says really – I hate my current job, and I have come to realise that I have hated every single job I have ever had.

I currently work for the civil service and today is my first day back since the 24th. I didn’t sleep a wink last night because I was so anxious and full of dread, and I’ve already been in tears this morning. I have worked in a few other civil service roles, in education (non-teaching), with animals and in hospitality and grown to hate every single one.

Its usually around the 6 month point that the boredom and dread start to set in and I start having thoughts like ‘maybe I could just have a minor car crash and have a few days off’ (not ideal)..

I find the constant interaction and pressure to deliver exhausting. I don’t have ‘passion’ for anything I’m working on so just get so bored and fed up. I definitely don’t have a ‘dream job’, and above all else I completely resent the loss of freedom and the manic Monday-Friday trying to fit everything in, for the weekend to fly by and having to start all over again.

Does anyone else feel like this? How do you cope?

Ive been so happy the last 10 days and immidiately just feel awful now i have to go back. The thought of doing this for another 40 years makes me feel like theres really no point to any of it, but everyone else just seems to get on with it and be perfectly fine!

What am I doing wrong?

My hobby is art and i'd love to monetise it but it's not realistic.

I work for the money, not the love of the job. I do a fair days work for a decent salary then live my life outside of work. Something has to pay the bills after all. If I won big in the lottery they wouldn't see me for dust!

I could have written your post about 10 years ago. I absolutely hated every job I ever had. Every Sunday was ruined because I had such an overwhelming dread about going back to work. I found work so mind-numbingly boring and repetitive; I just wasn’t challenged.

I did a lot of soul searching and realised what I’d like to do. I went back to uni to do a related degree (which is quite extreme but 100% worth it in hindsight) and managed to get a job in a related field.

My current job is totally flexible. As long as I do my hours, I can do them whenever and wherever I want, which really, really helps.

I now love my job. Absolutely no Sunday dread (in fact I sometimes look after it after a challenging weekend with DC!). I’m going back today after 2 weeks off for Christmas and pleasantly looking forward to getting back in to my routine. I’m challenged every day (in a good way), every day is different, and my work is really meaningful and important. Honestly, retraining was the best thing I have ever done.

If you can do some soul searching to try to find something you think you would like, even if you’d need to retrain, do it! You’ve got 40 more years of this - you will not regret it.

As a temporary measure could you submit a flexible working request to condense your hours in to 4 days. At least this would give you 3 days off a week of freedom.

You’re not alone OP.

I absolutely HATE going to work. There is no point me looking for a different job because there’s nothing I would enjoy. The only thing that would make me happy is to be a 1950’s housewife. But unfortunately I was born in the wrong era and I can’t afford it.

I wish my life away by counting down to retirement and I only enjoy Friday evenings and Saturday mornings. By Saturday afternoon I am already thinking about Monday morning approaching 😢.

I have no answers for you but wanted you to know you’re not alone.

Can u go part time at all? I thought CS could be flexible .As PP says 4 days a week compressed maybe . I think 5 days a week is a lot.As more people go towards flexible working it should hopefully become more the norm .Unless we become a millionaire sadly this is life for the workforce! How about a little treat each week on a Friday ,some Neals Yard or similar ,a hair appointment ,new make up? (Not all in one week!)

Some of its also about reframing to make it more bearable. Can you focus at all on the bits you enjoy and systematise the other bits so they take less time?
What does the money that you earn by working provide for you? Eg security, holidays, treats? Admittedly with col that lost might be reduced!

You are not alone! I have always felt like this. WFH helps me massively, I can't do office politics and being in an office has previously made me have a breakdown. I have an extremely busy life outside of work (horse owner etc) so work stops me doing what I want to be doing but at the same time enables me to do my passion in life.
I am late 40s now and DH and I have agreed that once mortgage is paid off + DD through uni (8 years) we will both downsize our jobs and just have small part time ones to cover bills etc. This makes it all more bearable as I can count down the next 8 years even though I can't afford to properly retire until I'm 67.

I have never known what i wanted to do so have just drifted into careers which I have no passion for.

You need a new job! What are your interests? What would you like to do? What training could you do to get there? You can change this.

I love my job most of the time but I am also hoping to transition to 4 day contract in April. The saving grace for me was finding a job which is 100% remote. I don't have to deal with office politics, I don't have to commute and this is removing most of the stressors. It is also very important for me to have complete autonomy. In the last 4 years I managed to land jobs where I have very little supervision and am basically free in how I manage my time and tasks. It's nice to be able to do that without additional pressures of being self-employed.

It took me until my 30s to realise that for many, the idea of a dream job is unattainable and is just a corporate idea. Humans weren’t meant to work in an office 9-5. Unless you’re a doctor, or a vet or someone with a similar vocation where you know you’ve always wanted to work in that field, none of us ‘dream’ about work. I certainly don’t dream about managing projects or reporting financial figures back to partners. We put far too much pressure on ourselves to love our job, and it’s just not realistic.

I suppose it’s about trying to reframe your mindset. Trying to find a job that you don’t ‘hate’ per se, but can tolerate enough to clock in, do your job, and get paid at the end of the month. I don’t live for work, I work so I can spend the £ on the things that enrich me. Like trips away, materials for my hobbies, books, skincare and makeup I love, nice homewear.

One thing I’ve found that helps is working compressed hours. I work Monday-Thursday and have every Friday-Sunday off, and that extra day makes the world of difference.

It is, just takes a lot of time and effort. It took me two years of working on my art business to see enough income to drop a day at work. My friend is making a decent income by doing markets where she sells custom pet portraits and jewelry. Another friend just landed an illustration contract with a publisher. It's very hard and time-consuming but it can be done. You may just need to think laterally and pivot your art skills towards something which has wider appeal (surface pattern design, packaging design, stationery, greeting cards etc.)

I feel the same. I so wish I could be a stay at home mum. I have never been happier than on maternity leave. All anxiety, low mood, stress etc gone. I love pretty much every day and wish staying with my kids permanently was an option.

Actually no. For most of us it's fine, we enjoy our jobs ok but don't love them, or easily tolerate them. Lots of us don't find it particularly stressful or depressing. We enjoy our colleagues and/or can be proud of our work. We find work that interests us. Some days are easier than others

This notion that a handful of people absolutely love their jobs and everyone else is miserable and depressed hating this is just silly.

I'm absolutely like this, even in a job I trained for which I have high interest in. I used to cry in the car every day driving to work, could never get to work on time and couldn't cope with the office politics. I am now self employed which in some regards is easier as I can crash on the bed if needed, but still have anxiety.

Following! I am very similar. Although I blame the industry I worked in (which I’ve just left) so am looking for a new role.

Its taken me a long while to realise self worth doesn’t depend on how happy or successful you are at work (which my parents and grandparents instilled)

I was also brought up believing that only successful and worthy people stayed in jobs for years and years. Which is absolutely nonsense.

Only problem is that I worked in such a dreadful industry I can’t remember what I enjoy or what I’m good at

I think for most people in this position they have to learn to suck it up, which is to say to reframe things so they recognise they don’t have to love work; to keep a job in the 9-5 zone, to be grateful that work gives them the house and activities they love, and that every day they only have to work till 5. It’s like washing dishes and clothes, nobody loves it but they have to get done, and the people who don’t do them live in shitholes. Out of those who don’t manage to do this, a very few discover their passion and bust a gut to make a success of that, some are supported by a partner but most probably end up unhappy and not very well off.im being blunt but honest.

Thanks for the replies - an interesting mix but glad to know im not alone in feeling this way.

I have seriously considered compressed hours but i just dont think i could make it work - I have a very time consuming hobby (think large animal...) which I wouldnt be able to fit in if i worked longer days. I also couldnt fathom working longer than 8 hours...i am hanging on by a thread at the end of it.

My weekends are busy doing things i love, but i now resent that because it makes them go too quickly. From Sunday morning the feelings of dread and anxiety are creeping in

The corporare world is miserable. Also suspect i might be neurodiverse, but probably not severe enough for a diagnosis

You're not alone, I promise. Lots of people have similar feelings to you. I think a lot of people make peace with jobs they can stand to do at a pay point that suits. I genuinely like my current role but I've definitely "made my peace" with past ones. I still have some stressful days and get nervous if I've been out of office for a bit. But overall I like my job.

I am not one of those people who climb the walls if they're away from work for more than an extra day though. I can always find something to do to entertain or occupy myself and I genuinely would have been happy at home in the 50s - my mental counter to this to keep myself in balance is that I also appreciate my pay cheque.

I actually think schools have a lot to answer for. The emphasis on finding what you want to do can be really overwhelming. I never got any real careers advice at school. I was quite high achieving but I was never completely sure what I wanted to do and they didn't quite know what to do with me other than pass me along to become a riddle to a university instead! I'm not unambitious but not having a direction did not help me.

I was like this until I landed a job teaching adult learners, I absolutely adored that job and put my all into it. Was made redundant 3 months later when the company went bust (deliberate action of the CEO) and now I am back to square one. That's a nice story, isn't it?

I hope you find something you love OP. 🙂

My weekends are busy doing things i love, but i now resent that because it makes them go too quickly. From Sunday morning the feelings of dread and anxiety are creeping in

Absolutely the same. 100%. I felt like this even when I worked 3 days a week - in fact I think it was worse because I had to squeeze so much work in to those 3 days. I didn’t sleep properly for 2 years due to the worry.

I don’t know what the answer is but I’m with you OP

Me too.
I hate work.

Then go non corporate. I've spent my career in public service, at least you feel like you're doing something valid and not just making more money for rich people 🤷‍♀️

Public service was the worst for me. Sorry. Very very toxic and jobsworthy. Lots of public money being wasted in huge amounts.

I understand that not all roles are like this but it’s good to have a balance of experiences on a thread.

Others have already suggested it, but I cannot stress enough how much dropping to 4 days helped me in this same situation. Not compressing (although even that would help), just dropping hours. With Monday being the day off, which means your weekend isn’t ruined by Monday dread.

Do the maths and if you can afford it at all just do it. It is so so so worth it. Has completely changed my life and outlook for the better. I hesitated initially because it felt wasteful paying for nursery on Mondays when I was off work, but it’s not wasteful at all - it’s the best use of my money I can think of.

At times I have only worked 3 days which was even better but I couldn’t make the finances work long term.

I’m years into this pattern now and would never go back to full-time work.