To have hated every job ive ever had?

[Coffeeebean]

Just as the title says really – I hate my current job, and I have come to realise that I have hated every single job I have ever had.

I currently work for the civil service and today is my first day back since the 24th. I didn’t sleep a wink last night because I was so anxious and full of dread, and I’ve already been in tears this morning. I have worked in a few other civil service roles, in education (non-teaching), with animals and in hospitality and grown to hate every single one.

Its usually around the 6 month point that the boredom and dread start to set in and I start having thoughts like ‘maybe I could just have a minor car crash and have a few days off’ (not ideal)..

I find the constant interaction and pressure to deliver exhausting. I don’t have ‘passion’ for anything I’m working on so just get so bored and fed up. I definitely don’t have a ‘dream job’, and above all else I completely resent the loss of freedom and the manic Monday-Friday trying to fit everything in, for the weekend to fly by and having to start all over again.

Does anyone else feel like this? How do you cope?

Ive been so happy the last 10 days and immidiately just feel awful now i have to go back. The thought of doing this for another 40 years makes me feel like theres really no point to any of it, but everyone else just seems to get on with it and be perfectly fine!

What am I doing wrong?

Idk about OP but I'm well aware I'm the problem. I hate jobs, I hate being told what to do, I hate having my routine dictated by someone else and I don't think I have the right personality to be self-employed either. It's not really relevant that the issue is me, it doesn't stop the feeling of dread when I think I'm stuck doing this, or some variation on this, for 30 years more.

Oh don’t be such a bootlicker. What difference does it make to your life if strangers on the internet don’t like their job?

It can still be the jobs...and be you. Capitalism and neurodivergence aren't a good mix and make employment very hard going. Saying it's just the person is quite an ableist viewpoint, as in, if you just fixed yourself you'd fit into the system.

It is life that you need a job, but we are socialised to think we have to love it, to be passionate, to find our dream job. Its more realistic to know that a lot of people, and particularly neurodivergent people, don't dream of labour and fucking hate their jobs.

I hate working and resent the time it takes out of life. Its not been helped by a job change after redundancy and feeling like a small cog.

But I like being able to pay the bills so suck it up like the majority.

Roll on the lottery win 😂

Its a rare thing to completely love what you do and getting into a career where you do can be difficult, risky or just plain luck.

No advice, otherwise I wouldn't be in this boat either, but solidarity!

THIS.

I find the sense of entitlement unbelievable. Your job puts food on the table and roof over your head. It pays for all the nice things you need and want. If you have other means to fund your life, you should really quit this job and do something you truly enjoy ( or not do anything at all). Until then, gratitude goes a long way in finding a reason to like your job.

I dont think its entitled to want to not feel dread and anxiety over something you are required to do for 40+ hours a week

I dont expect to ever love a job, but would be nice to not find it miserable!

As others have said - poor management, toxic colleagues, crazy workloads etc are a part of many many jobs and they really shouldnt be.

If its "every job" its probably you that needs to change. There are good and bad jobs but also people who just dont want to work

Does anybody want to work...

I have always felt that way but I have ADHD so that means I get bored very quickly! I never really had a passion for anything and due to getting a diagnosis in my late 30’s I missed out on many opportunities (life is easier with my meds). My current job I actually really love it’s so busy and full on that I blink and it’s time to go home. Also very nice people I work with. I’ve never felt that before though! I start work early so I’m home by 2pm and feel that I have afternoons to myself which makes a huge difference!

Yes. Many people want to work. People who lose their jobs due to disability are desperate to work. And finances never seem to be the first item on a list of reasons when I ask them.
Despite having a very full life with diverse hobbies, I absolutely want to work.

OP you are not alone.

I’m in my 30s and have grown to hate every job I’ve ever done. Have worked in a wide range of sectors (some similar to
what you’ve listed) and all have eventually become soul destroying, usually between the 3-6 month mark. I’ve worked stressful jobs, easy jobs, monotonous jobs, management jobs - hated them all.

No children here so could choose to up and leave and accept a more fulfilling low paid job as it’s ultimately only myself I’m responsible for, but I’m well paid for the role I do, so I don’t.

My close friends struggle, like some on this thread, to understand why I hate working. They think I just have high expectations of life and say they’d get bored pottering about with no routine. They actively look forward to going back to work after holidays. Madness.

I think only the very lucky love their jobs and find them rewarding and I say this as someone who works in what should be a rewarding sector (but actually I find the customers a pain in the arse most of the time and don’t really feel any sense of good from helping them).

I get the Sunday dread, do a daily clock watch and live for lunch times and the end of the day. I physically feel lighter as I skip out of the building. I love my WFH days as I’m away from the office politics and toxic adult-babies masking as emotionally intelligent people who don’t love to create drama. I smile and nod, and attend meetings, and pretend to care about shared goals and values, when inside I’m screaming “I couldn’t give a shiny shit!!!”

Things that help me but I admit are essentially sticking plasters: threads like this one as reminders I’m not alone, spending my mornings before work exactly how I want (running and coffee with friends usually) so that I feel that I’ve already done something for ME. I buy myself the treats I want, try and take delicious lunches, use all my leave entitlement and do just enough work to get the job done but not to stress myself out.

I don’t have the answer I’m afraid and tend to swing between accepting it is what it is, and having existential crises where I question how I’ll get through till retirement. However,
I still have hope that one day I’ll be able to find something that fits!

Then work on yourself. When I was younger, I had a series of boring crappy jobs. So I educated myself, trained, got multiple qualifications, and worked my way up to a good job that is interesting , useful, fairly fulfilling, and reasonably well paid. And I'm not done yet.

Either do better, or stop moaning. It's not everyone else's problem that you can't get a job you like

I was in the same situation as you and got so sick of it all I started my own business. Bootstrapped it myself, lived off the absolute bare minimum, sold stuff to get enough money to get it off the ground.

I love working now. I make all the decisions. I don't work with or hire anyone I don't like. I earn more but pay less tax because self-employment.

Longest "job" I've stayed in - this is my 8th year.

I kind of feel like this but I work 3 days a week which makes it ok. Any chance you could go part-time? It does mean I can't afford a lot of things but it's worth it for my mental health.

The problems she has won't be solved by working on herself, they'll be solved by getting the type of job that doesn't involve toxic people or workloads (or starting a business instead).

You can be the most educated person in the world and still have shit colleagues and management.

OP didn't say it was anyone else's problem, but it's still depressing to think about.

I've retrained multiple times, am highly educated and have tried a few different careers, but I've still not found any job that I enjoy and whilst I'm not regularly chewing people's ears off about how much I hate it, the week stretching out ahead of me and knowing I'll maybe feel like this for ever sometimes gets me down.

I'm about to take pre-assessments for training as a software engineer- but maybe I'll hate that too, I will have no idea until I try it. Maybe there is no job I'll enjoy, maybe there is a job out there I'd like, but I just haven't yet found it

Unless you're fabulously wealthy you can't just keep trying careers until you find the right one. Many of us are just doing jobs we hate every day until retirement. It's OK to wish that wasn't how life worked.

well as others have pointed out, you’re not “required to”. You choose to, because you want the income.

Going back to the confidence thing though, I suggest really looking into this and looking into ways to boost your feelings of confidence / self esteem / self efficacy. If it’s the social side of work and relationships with colleagues that you hate, request the option of working remotely, or look for a job that involves minimal teamwork?

If poor management is your problem, become management. Or change jobs to find good management, there's plenty out there. Same goes for other complaints, get a better job. My last job I became unhappy with changes in structure and some of the people there....so now I have a better job where I prefer the structure and people. Find the kind of work that suits you, something solitary if you hate people, something non forward facing if you hate customers... whatever.

I used to work with someone who complained that every job she ever had was with awful people, toxic environments, and she was bullied. She wasn't bullied, they weren't toxic...she was. The people she complained bullied her were the people who wouldn't put up with her awful behaviour to everyone. She created a toxic environment everywhere she went.
Like I said, if you've had multiple jobs and they're all toxic or terrible....it's probably you.

For me it’s not the job but the relentlessness of the routine the rigidity of it. Getting up early, the commute, the rush home etc. I think the only answer is to either work for your self, find a job that you can work from home a bit or earn enough money so that you can go part time. For me the only option out of those was to go part time. I pushed myself in my twenties to get to a certain level of pay and happy to plateau now working part time.

Like I said, if you've had multiple jobs and they're all toxic or terrible....it's probably you

Why do people keep saying this like it’s some cutting jibe? She knows it’s probably her. That’s part of her problem. She is just saying she personally does not enjoy work. That does not make her (or any of us who feel the same way) any worse than you. Just different.

She is as entitled to post here about her dislike for work as you are about your love of it.

I know a huge amount of British people in particular have somehow bought into the idea that a love of paid work is a moral good. But it’s not. It’s neutral.

Op you need a complete career change.
Large animal - I'm assuming it goes clip clop!

Train as a farrier or veterinary nurse. Get away from the office environment.
Assuming you don't have kids at the moment. A Farrier could be ideal to do part-time round the school run.

I have disliked quite a few jobs, most of the dislike is due to office politics or departmental politics. There is still gender inequality in the workplace.

There can also be localised inter-generational trauma which can be more intense in certain places (such as Northern Ireland for example or any place where there has been political unrest or intense poverty in recent generations).

There are still "boys clubs", which make many workplaces particularly unpleasant for women.

Certain industries or departments are more difficult than others. Toxic behaviour or inappropriate behaviour, from the top down, effects whole organisations or indeed industries.

There was a global study recently on the prevalence of bullying in the Legal profession. The Tech Industry has acknowledged a culture of toxic masculinity.

There can be valid reasons why women, in particular don't enjoy many workplaces.

For me it mostly boils down to bullying, insecure bullies who easily feel threatened, they cause the most drama. People with poor coping skills, tend to gang up on others. Drama llamas love all that extra drama, it drains others.

Anyway, I think it's normal to question the lack of joy in many workplaces. I think those who ruminate tend to enjoy it less. The people who don't analyse, don't see those issues.

We have to keep bagging the paycheck, we all must pay bills.

@DoDowntonBlabbie - I guess you're still working on/educating yourself then? Good luck with the kindness/empathy skills course/book when you get to it.

Done that, thanks. Loads of empathy where appropriate, but sometimes straight talking is so much more useful.