To have hated every job ive ever had?

[Coffeeebean]

Just as the title says really – I hate my current job, and I have come to realise that I have hated every single job I have ever had.

I currently work for the civil service and today is my first day back since the 24th. I didn’t sleep a wink last night because I was so anxious and full of dread, and I’ve already been in tears this morning. I have worked in a few other civil service roles, in education (non-teaching), with animals and in hospitality and grown to hate every single one.

Its usually around the 6 month point that the boredom and dread start to set in and I start having thoughts like ‘maybe I could just have a minor car crash and have a few days off’ (not ideal)..

I find the constant interaction and pressure to deliver exhausting. I don’t have ‘passion’ for anything I’m working on so just get so bored and fed up. I definitely don’t have a ‘dream job’, and above all else I completely resent the loss of freedom and the manic Monday-Friday trying to fit everything in, for the weekend to fly by and having to start all over again.

Does anyone else feel like this? How do you cope?

Ive been so happy the last 10 days and immidiately just feel awful now i have to go back. The thought of doing this for another 40 years makes me feel like theres really no point to any of it, but everyone else just seems to get on with it and be perfectly fine!

What am I doing wrong?

Feel for you OP. I’ve felt like this much of my working life, except the last few years. The thing that’s made the difference is working part time. Yes, I know it’s a huge privilege and not everyone can take the hit to salary (if employer will even agree to it), but honestly, the balance it has restored to my life is tremendous.

I now work 4 days a week, 9.30-2.45 in an office with nice people. The work is ok, but every other job I had where I worked FT daprained me and I resented massively. I felt a permanent senses of mild depression that the vast majority of my valuable waking hours was taken up with working. Even if you finish at 5.00pm, that’s pretty late in the day really, your body is feeling a bit weary from working most of the day already, so it used to feel like I was wishing my life away waiting for the weekends.

I don’t get that awful end of holiday or end of weekend feeling any more thankfully. If you can possibly trial working PT I’d highly recommend it. Work feels a much smaller chunk of my life now and I hugely appreciate having much more free time to myself.

I find it hard to respect people with this kind of opinion. Can’t you be passionate about working for a small tech firm that improves the healthcare experience, in say booking appts or running scanning equipment ? Can’t you be passionate about a logistics and planning role in running a busy port that is essential for your countries food supply? Or working for a bank that literally underpins everyone’s life, it’s basic financial infrastructure. I value being able to get a mortgage and do my banking online, I can easily understand being passionate about all of these things. All of which are normcore typey type jobs (are you 8 years old??)where you sit at a desk and work at a computer. As is my job.

My DH is the same. He'd well educated, has had 'good' jobs, jobs that seemed on paper perfect for him, but he ends up miserable in every one of them. Sometimes a few years down the line he'll look back and say "that wasn't that bad", but at the time he hates it.

No answer on how to resolve it.

@Codlingmoths I agree. There are some horrible opinions on here. I assume people realise all those lovely enriching things they would do if not constriained by work are often enabled by people doing normcore typey typer jobs.

Your wifi service, your mobile phone service, your electricity, the food and books you buy from shops, the nice country areas you want to walk in, the books or apps you use to learn a language, the exercise classes you go to, the transport you will use to go on holiday. All supported by typey typer normcore jobs.

The UBI some want to have to enable people to work less will be desiged and administrated by someone with a typey typer normcore job.

Hating your job does not make you a better or more interesting person.

Neither does liking it though i suppose

And im not sure 'horrible opinions' is valid just because you dont agree. The whole point of opinions is everyone gets to have their own

@PriOn1 Totally agree and have often thought the same. After 6 hours I’m totally
checked out. If they were to scientifically measure how much work most people do in a standard work shift, it’d be interesting to see how much is actually productive work. At least for me, 45 minutes is hiding in the toilets…

Im sure ive read somewhere that the average office worker does 2-3 hours of actual productive work a day.

The rest is spent chatting, making coffees, going to the loo and generally flapping.

Im convinced the people who always moan about being sooo busy get the least done 😂

Most of us have kids, we still change jobs.

What I do isn't pointless at all, it's essential. As is my partner's job, my siblings jobs, and most of my friends jobs. It's not really that difficult to find a job with a point.

Yes, everybody gets their own. And everyone else gets to tell you they're horrible

I tell you what (who) else is horrible...

We'll go on then...

I think we would need to know what you (and they) do before we can judge whether they are essential or not.

Finding a job with a point may not be impossible but finding a well paid job with a point, when you have no experience in that field and when you are a single income household with three kids to support definitely is.

I was like this. I worked in journalism for 10 years, then the civil service for about 15 years. I was successful and got promotions. Hated all of it.
3 years ago I moved into the arts and absolutely love it. I work at my local theatre and it's bloody brilliant. Pay isn't great but I've never been happier at work.

I'm the same, just constant anxiety about going into work. I work as a domiciliary care worker and spend most of my days in a funk with worry about it. Last year I started training to do something else and attend classes every week which means that in almost 2 years I'll be qualified to work in another field entirely. I just hope that I don't find that work as anxiety inducing! Maybe try and think of something you're passionate about and go from there?

No you don't, nobody needs you to judge whether they are essential. They are, whether you think so or not (and you'd be some fool to think not)

I don't think I've ever enjoyed working!
But what massively improves my ability to not hate my job is my colleagues.
Good colleagues make any job better in my experience!
Disinterested or bad colleagues make for a much more miserable experience.
Which is why I haven't tried WFH roles yet, I like meeting my colleagues in person.
Ah, just seen an update where you say you struggle to make friends at work, that does complicate things.
I am generally quite shy too around new people, most places I've worked I've been in a small team or small company, so its a bit more close knit but I think that can also go either way if there's a bad egg.

"I have SOOO many emails today! I was here until 8:30 last night just finishing everything I needed to do!" (proceeds to flap around achieving nothing for the next hour)

Nobody needs to judge, but it is up to me whether I think something is essential or not - not you. If you don't want give me the info to make that judgement then fair enough.

I too hate working and have job hoped over the years.

I work in Education now (not teaching) and I hate it. It’s an unpleasant atmosphere, very cliquey and bitchy and lots of responsibility is put on your shoulders, whilst management belittles you at the same time.

Its compounded by the fact I used to work for myself, which I liked but which become too insecure and I used to have a really respected and responsible job, I’ve struggled a lot now with the fact that I am treated like a child and that past experience doesn’t seem to count for much.

i too hate the fact that this is my life for the foreseeable

You miss the point. It doesn't matter if you think they're essential or not... because they are. It's a fact, opinions are irrelevant. They're literally called essential services.

I'm with you, OP. I have a job which is technically 'essential' but actually the essential bits of it get drowned in a sea of pointless bureacracy and corporate bullshit. Add to that the constant requirement for a level of daily enthusiasm that borders on toxic positivity and you have a recipe for turning an interesting and 'important' job into a soul-destroying one.

And I'm one of the lucky ones: public sector, highly qualified and experienced, decently remunerated, nice colleagues (on the whole) and with a 'purpose'. It's still mainly bollocks.

Read David Graeber's Bullshit Jobs, campaign for UBI, and maybe think about whether life could actually look really different if you want it to. That's what I'm currently doing - not there yet but getting there!

Just because someone has called a thing 'essential' doesn't mean it is a fact - that is just an opinion (though probably a widely held one I'll admit).

So no, I don't miss the point.

Being 'essential' also doesnt mean id hate it any less 😂

I've done "essential" jobs and most of the time it felt like going through the motions doing things to please management that had nothing to do with providing the service. Sometimes even doing things that made it harder to provide a decent service.

Horses for courses and I think whatever motivates people or gives them enthusiasm is great it just can't necessarily be applied to other people.

Sigh. Not someone. Everyone. Everyone calls essential services essential. There's even a UN list of what essential services are, in some countries they're legally defined.

Yes, you continue to miss the point.