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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Think ive upset my neighbour

186 replies

KazMeddy · 05/01/2025 20:38

Sorry name changed as I’m mortified.

I was having a clear out for the new year and gathered four bags of clothes and toys etc for charity shop.

Last night I started taking the bags to the shed and heard noise coming from next doors garden and I was worried that someone was in there that shouldn’t be so I stood on a patio chair to look over the fence. Neighbour was in the hot tub with a man I didn’t recognise (I thought she was single!). The bloke looked up and saw me and I didn’t know what to say so when neighbour looked up I asked her if she would take the bags to charity shop for me. I have no idea why I said that, even as the words were coming out I was mortified at what I was saying. She looked a bit confused but said she’d do it so I asked her if I should bring them around and she said “well, not now” and gestured towards the man. He started laughing and she then said “just leave them in your shed for now?”

im beyond embarrassed, I just can’t believe I said that to her not to mention the embarrassment of being seen peering over the bloody fence.

please tell me I’m over thinking it. I’ve felt sick all day just thinking about it.

OP posts:
EdithBond · 05/01/2025 22:17

If you didn’t know her that well before, you do now haha!

If it helps, we’ve all been there saying stupid things.

I’d knock her door, ask if you could have a quick word and explain what happened. Hopefully, it’s the start of a wonderful neighbourly friendship and you’ll both laugh about it in years to come.

Flipslop · 05/01/2025 22:19

Tiredofallthis101 · 05/01/2025 22:02

This has honestly made my day- brilliant. Sorry OP. In all seriousness I'd just write a letter explaining the situation, that you thought there was an intruder but it turned out you were the one intruding. Then you had foot in mouth and looked mad. Apologies! No expectation to take bags to the charity shop at all. And perhaps throw in a box of chocolates for good measure, noting they are a bribe to induce her to forget your slip of the tongue and start again!

I’d think she was even more weird to follow up with a letter rather than popping round sorry 😂😂

TwinklyNight · 05/01/2025 22:24

I laughed so much at this op!😂I'd go over and apologuise, tell her you dont do well with under pressure.
Especially when you asked if you should bring them over now...😂

Bethany83 · 05/01/2025 22:27

This is THE funniest thing I have read on here and you have really cheered me up, thank you O.P!
I would literally just tell her the truth/show her this thread. The fact that she agreed that she would take the bags to the charity shop sounds like she is a pretty nice person so would understand and even feel the funny side.
Thank you again. I can't stop laughing. I don't mean that in a horrible way. I truly don't think you need to worry. You weren't horrible and that's what's important here. I have said random things like that before in certain situations, we all have so Def don't worry.

Namerequired · 05/01/2025 22:30

This has given me such a giggle! Definitely go round and explain yourself lol. It might end up in a great friendship. Mortifying, yes probably! But sure we all have those times. Definitely talk to her

ReginaPhalange92 · 05/01/2025 22:30

This is the best thing I've read in ages, absolutely hilarious! I can imagine Pamela from Gavin and Stacey doing something like this 😂
Just go round and tell her the truth. Or if you have her number send her a text in case you interrupt her again.

Yahoodotcom · 05/01/2025 22:36

I laughed so much at your post OP,l 🤣🤣. The kind of thing that would happen in a sit-com 😂. I agree with pp's, pop round and tell her the truth.You sound lovely

artohmyletmehelp · 05/01/2025 22:36

KazMeddy · 05/01/2025 20:38

Sorry name changed as I’m mortified.

I was having a clear out for the new year and gathered four bags of clothes and toys etc for charity shop.

Last night I started taking the bags to the shed and heard noise coming from next doors garden and I was worried that someone was in there that shouldn’t be so I stood on a patio chair to look over the fence. Neighbour was in the hot tub with a man I didn’t recognise (I thought she was single!). The bloke looked up and saw me and I didn’t know what to say so when neighbour looked up I asked her if she would take the bags to charity shop for me. I have no idea why I said that, even as the words were coming out I was mortified at what I was saying. She looked a bit confused but said she’d do it so I asked her if I should bring them around and she said “well, not now” and gestured towards the man. He started laughing and she then said “just leave them in your shed for now?”

im beyond embarrassed, I just can’t believe I said that to her not to mention the embarrassment of being seen peering over the bloody fence.

please tell me I’m over thinking it. I’ve felt sick all day just thinking about it.

Over thinking....quite funny lol, bless...just a rabbit in the headlights thing....

RosannaSpider · 05/01/2025 22:42

Like a comedy sketch 😂

Avatartar · 05/01/2025 22:43

She may not answer when you go round, thinking you’re reminding her about the charity shop run, so have a card ready to write and put through the letter box if she’s avoiding you. Yes to bottle of wine/ chocs too

MooFroo · 05/01/2025 22:50

@KazMeddy thanks for the laffs 🤣🤣

are you of an age where you can blame the menopause?!

Moveoverdarlin · 05/01/2025 22:50

I’d go round with some chocolate and say ‘Really sorry about the other night, you must think I’m an absolute nutcase! I heard you and thought it must be an intruder but was shocked to see you in the hot tub. I panicked and asked you to take the stuff to the charity shop! Ha! I don’t actually need you to do that. God knows why that popped out! Anyway just wanted to clear the air just in case you thought I was a peeping Tom or the village idiot!

purpleblue2 · 05/01/2025 22:54

As funny as it is you really need to get round there and explain and apologise and also not make her take them to the charity shop. Our minds are wonderful things but it’s so funny that you asked a random stranger to take them to a charity shop and then proceeded to ask to take them round. When really you could have explained yourself quick there and then or just apologised got down and explained later on 😂😂😂. Please go round to her and explain you’ll look like a crazy woman if you don’t

ID040125 · 05/01/2025 23:04

I think you should try and come up with a few things to make this escalatingly worse. Say your twin was house-sitting, but beforehand shave your head and say as an aside that you're getting used to the haircut now after three weeks of it on holiday. Then order some binoculars on Amazon but have them sent to the neighbour's address, then when you collect them say, "It's not binoculars by the way, I wouldn't have need of any," even if there's minimal packaging and it says 'binoculars' in eight inch high lettering on the box. Then when she's at work install CCTV in her garden, four enormous cameras, all pointing at the hot tub from a distance of two feet. When she comes home go round and say you hadn't put your contact lenses in and went and installed the CCTV in the wrong garden, "We've all been there," etc. When she storms off, signal to the man you've booked to fly a zeppelin overhead dragging a sign saying 'Who is the man in the hot-tub?' Then watch Hot Tub Time Machine and Hot Tub Time Machine 2 back to back with the TV loud enough for her to hear and periodically keep shouting, "I really love this film with a hot tub in it and its less successful but no less hot tub-inclusive sequel! Why wasn't it a trilogy?!?" At this point both of you will just be so burnt through with unmanageable emotion that you'll become inured to the whole thing and the following day everything will be back to normal.

Worryer · 05/01/2025 23:08

Haha I'm invested now - please update us!!

AncoraAmarena · 05/01/2025 23:10

Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing. Sorry OP. 🤣🤣

LushLemonTart · 05/01/2025 23:14

I just snorted and dh said what are you laughing about. I didn't bother explaining just said it's something on mn.

Yes go round and explain. She'll laugh.

Toddlertantrums222 · 05/01/2025 23:40

Manxexile · 05/01/2025 21:41

"... Last night I started taking the bags to the shed and heard noise coming from next doors garden and I was worried that someone was in there that shouldn’t be so I stood on a patio chair to look over the fence... "

I can't help but wonder why you thought it might be somebody who shouldn't be there rather than the more obvious explanation that it was your neighbour in her own garden(?).

Do you go to the trouble of standing on a patio chair to look over the fence every time you hear somebody in the next door garden? 😄

I was thinking this too. Hardly funny, and would actually be a bit creeped out if this was my neighbour!

Lassofnorth · 05/01/2025 23:44

KazMeddy · 05/01/2025 20:38

Sorry name changed as I’m mortified.

I was having a clear out for the new year and gathered four bags of clothes and toys etc for charity shop.

Last night I started taking the bags to the shed and heard noise coming from next doors garden and I was worried that someone was in there that shouldn’t be so I stood on a patio chair to look over the fence. Neighbour was in the hot tub with a man I didn’t recognise (I thought she was single!). The bloke looked up and saw me and I didn’t know what to say so when neighbour looked up I asked her if she would take the bags to charity shop for me. I have no idea why I said that, even as the words were coming out I was mortified at what I was saying. She looked a bit confused but said she’d do it so I asked her if I should bring them around and she said “well, not now” and gestured towards the man. He started laughing and she then said “just leave them in your shed for now?”

im beyond embarrassed, I just can’t believe I said that to her not to mention the embarrassment of being seen peering over the bloody fence.

please tell me I’m over thinking it. I’ve felt sick all day just thinking about it.

That’s so funny, As others have said just go round and explain ( but not right now obviously 😆)

LongDistanceClara44 · 05/01/2025 23:49

It usually really annoys me when people quote the OP but on this thread it just gives me chance to read it again and cry laughing some more 🤣

Everintroverte · 06/01/2025 00:10

Hilarious, I would have loved to hear what she said when you had gone back inside.
Absolutely knock and tell her the truth, then please come back and update 😂

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 06/01/2025 00:30

Honesty is the only way out of this. Whether by text or popping round. Let us know what she says. FlowersGrin

CantHaveTooMuchChocolate · 06/01/2025 00:41

kaos2 · 05/01/2025 20:49

Go and see her and tell her the truth .. I'm sure she will see the funny side of it .!

First poster nails it again. Just take a box of chocolates round, wish her a happy New Year and explain, she’ll probably be as relieved as you are! Good luck!

Yesiknowdear · 06/01/2025 00:42

I think you need to turn up with a bottle of wine and sheepishly explain what actually happened.
Your neighbour sounds nice, her response to your question was kind and I think she would appreciate knowing your intentions were good looking over the fence. It could be the start of a really nice friendship.

CorsicaDreaming · 06/01/2025 00:54

Totally get you'd think it was odd to be noises in the garden now. It's freezing to be in a hot tub!

Maybe she thought you wanted to join them?!

I'd pop round and say sorry for being an idiot and explain. You'll probably end up friends over this. It is really funny. But I can totally feel your embarrassment too 🍆🍑😂