To be unsure about DS going to this party?

[leavehimthere]

DS is four, plays with a range of toys and has a range of interests but it’s fair to say most of them are maybe typically ‘boy’ toys: construction and farm toys and the like.

He has been invited to a ‘princess party’ which is where women dressed as Disney princesses greet the children, who are also dressed as princesses, and then they dance and sing to princess songs and have a princess tea.

(ds is the only boy going.)

I don’t know. I feel like DS won’t enjoy it much and will feel really out of it if everyone else is wearing an Elsa dress or whatever but equally he wouldn’t want to dress as a princess and there isn’t really an equivalent - I could maybe try a prince outfit? It’s not the first time he’s been sort of subtly pushed out and it makes me a bit sad for him.

@leavehimthere did he have fun?
Because that's what matters.

Send him in his usual play clothes and obviously he will tell them he is not a girl nor a princess

My eldest is a boy and I sort of know what you mean - I had similar vibes/comments from some mums of girls that were sometimes so subtle I wondered if it was me imagining it. (I now have DC of both sexes so I don’t think I’m projecting). I think if I were the birthday child’s parent I might have called it a Disney party, or Frozen/whatever party if I were inviting boys and girls, rather than stipulating Princesses only.

I would honestly step away from this group if they are making you feel this way - intentionally or otherwise.

It's not obvious at all as your first post doesn't mention this and instead talks specifically about the princess them and that your DS is the only boy and probably won't enjoy it. You drip fed the half assed invite and attitude towards your son after most posts said YABU.

Actually as I’m petty I’d be tempted to take your DD along in a cute Elsa dress.

I agree that the issue isn't the party itself, but the disconnect between you and the rest of the group.
I would pull out of the group, and if there are 1 or 2 individuals you feel closer to, you can always try to reconnect with them separately over a coffee or a playdate.

Otherwise, maybe give him the choice whether he wants to go or not? But really it should be based in whether he gets along with those kids rather than the theme of the party.

Coz most 4yr boys I know want spider man Partys or car parties

So wondered what your theme was for your sons 4th bday @leavehimthere

Sorry on app so can't quote a quote

He's not being subtly pushed out. You're assuming he won't like it. Let him go. Ask him what he'd like to wear. Send him. I'm sure there will be a spare outfit should he wish to be the same as others.

My reading of this is that there are a couple of women in the group who aren’t keen on you and are using the point of difference to ‘other’ you a bit and hope you get the hint.

I do think the way DS was grudgingly invited was a bit rude but I’d say it’s possibly you they’re not fond of rather than him (sorry- just my interpretation of all of your posts).

For me, this would be a group of friends I have for a season, rather than a reason. You met them at a particular time in your life, with something in common. Now it seems, not so much.

Could be this is about to run its course , not a bad thing, just time to move on.

Honestly I wouldn't overthink this at this stage, Op. Let DS have fun at the party. Once all the kids start school you'll find the whole NCT thing becomes less important as school friends tend to take over. He'll be part of a new social group and will forge his own friendships.

My son has always been one of the few boys invited to his best girl friend’s small princess parties are home (for her 3rd then 4th birthday). I saw it as wow she must really like my son! He went as a pirate, one of the other boys as Prince Charming. My son really enjoys party food, that’s always his favourite part of any party, the theme is irrelevant really 😂 all children loved pass the parcel and of course the balloons, cake and party bag! Hope this is of some reassurance.

My daughter is having a mermaid party for her 3rd birthday. Dress up is welcome but optional, her 2 best friends are boys. Hoping they will come as they are her absolute favourites!

Hope your son has fun if you decide to go 😊