To be unsure about DS going to this party?

[leavehimthere]

DS is four, plays with a range of toys and has a range of interests but it’s fair to say most of them are maybe typically ‘boy’ toys: construction and farm toys and the like.

He has been invited to a ‘princess party’ which is where women dressed as Disney princesses greet the children, who are also dressed as princesses, and then they dance and sing to princess songs and have a princess tea.

(ds is the only boy going.)

I don’t know. I feel like DS won’t enjoy it much and will feel really out of it if everyone else is wearing an Elsa dress or whatever but equally he wouldn’t want to dress as a princess and there isn’t really an equivalent - I could maybe try a prince outfit? It’s not the first time he’s been sort of subtly pushed out and it makes me a bit sad for him.

If a 4 or 5 year old wants a ridiculous sexist party concept like that there is something amiss

But so what, though? Do you like the parents and value their friendship? If so, challenge their prejudices or ignore them — they’re not your child’s friends? At 4, DS wasn’t bothered about playing with others, boy or girl.

My son is 4 and, for what it’s worth, loves loads of stereotypical boy things and would blooming LOVE to attend a princess party.

To dress him as a prince or even a unicorn would be absolutely fine, or just let him dress how he wants to.

You could make a simply Olaf (the snowman) costume with some white felt and a few sticks a carrot and a black felt tip pen aand maybe as some sick on eyes. There's one on Amazon for £23 you could easily copy...

I think you are seriously overthinking this! Your DS will probably be invited to many more princess parties in the next few years.

As for equivalent dress up errrmm Prince charming, Jafar, Aladdin, Ninja, Pirate, Beast (Lion), Shrek, Princess Phillip ( not the olds queens the one from sleeping beauty), Flynn Ryder, Olaf, Sven, Kristoff, The costume dosnt actually have to be princess related either, I’m fairly certain Darth Vader once came to my DDs princess party. Edited LOL just realised Darth Vader is actually princess related 😂

ive been to and hosted a many a princess party with plenty of boys.

Have any of the group had a 2nd child who’s a boy? I would imagine once there’s more of a mix in subsequent siblings it won’t be so noticeable or at least you’ll feel the comments aren’t towards your ds but just stereotypes aimed generally.

No, funnily enough, everyone stayed at one bar me which is another divide if you like.

Of course mum chose the theme, and based her choice on daughter’s interests, her age and availability. She probably did teddy bears tea party already and her girl is too young for ceramics painting or trampolining hence princess party.

Prince Charming would be a good costume option for your boy.

I think you have some main character eeergy going on op. I don't think a four year old girl revolves her birthday theme around you and your son- she's chosen what almost all four year old girls are into.

I would imagine that most parents will gravitate towards what the issues/ things are that affect them- young girls usually have long hair. Young girls quite often like princess parties- they are not leaving you out- in the same way that if the majority had boys I'd imagine the conversation around their grooming would be different. Birthday girl/mum of birthday girl wants a princess party. Get him a prince outfit. They are including you, whilst still respecting their child's current interest.

No, it's not a divide. Just like you having a boy is not a divide. Not at 4 years old anyway.

You are really, really being ridiculous. As a PP said, I think you are feeling self conscious and 'different' and are projecting that onto the group and reading into things that are just not there.

@leavehimthere I think you should choose a girl ds likes and you find their mum does not have the 'boy stereotypes' and dress ds as that child's 'add on character' so if one is Snow White, could he be an apple or a dwarf? Or Olaf if there is an Elsa etc?

I would take ds to have fun and show others you don't get knocked down by their comments but in your head I'd be making plans to break away UNLESS he's going to be at the same primary school as them.

Kindly, I think the others seem to have a 'girl bond' and even though some don't care about a boy/ stereotypes, the stronger- learners of the group do.

Or just go Spiderman like most 4 year old boys?!

No little lads want to dress as a prince!! Is that even a costume?!

My dd had a frozen party when she was 5 half the kids came as Elsa, 2 didn't dress up as they didn't like dresses/dressing up. The 2 boys came wearing Olaf T-shirts. Everyone joined in the games, ate cake and left with a party bag.

You are overthinking the party but sounds like this isn't just about the party. A lot changed with nct groups when the kids start school. It will likely just naturally evolve.

Totally agree! My son is 5 and obsessed with hot wheels and dinosaurs, but he's been to two princess parties and loved them. One was Moana themed and one was Frozen and both of them had a princess impersonator.

People are saying your being ridiculous but I totally get there might be vibes you are picking up on. You don't have to hang out with these people if you don't want to find some friends that make you and your son feel welcome and comfortable ❤️

@Applesn " I think you should choose a girl ds likes and you find their mum does not have the 'boy stereotypes' and dress ds as that child's 'add on character' so if one is Snow White, could he be an apple or a dwarf? Or Olaf if there is an Elsa etc?"

I don't know much, but I do know that a dwarf costume is a seriously bad idea...

Put some trousers on him will long socks over them to to keep knees with shirt and waistcoat send him as a prince

DD went to an Elsa party when she was 4 or 5. She wasn't a particularly girly girl and hated princesses, but was good friends with the birthday girl so went anyway. She had a great time as it was predominantly all about the games, food and running about with her friends. Her friend Daniel was the only boy there - he had a fab time too - dressed as Spider-Man (his favourite character at the time).
You're overthinking this. If he likes the birthday girl and enjoys a party, go for it.

He hasn't been pushed out, subtly or otherwise. Infact he has been included - he is invited to a party which, presumably, the birthday child has chosen.

He can wear his own clothes, a princess dress if her prefers or any other fancy dress. I highly doubt he will be banned from entering the room if he isn't in a princess dress!

Is this a specific child's birthday party?
Or is it a party for all of the children's birthday in the group?

If the first - then it's up to the birthday child and parents to decide on the theme. If they decide on a princess theme cause that's what the little girl likes, then it's fair enough. You can chose to take your child or not.

If it's the last option then the decision on theme should ideally have been made as a group, unless you're not footing the bill and so,wine else is.

I think my DS (similar age) would enjoy this

If you don't think yours would then you don't have to take him but don't rule it out just because it's a princess party

I didn't have an NCT type group but most of DD's friends when she was at nursery were boys, so she got invited to a lot of little boy's parties. Many had 'boy' type themes, if we have to label them. Dd didn't feel pushed out or excluded - she went along and had fun with her little friends. She wore whatever she wanted to on the day.

I guess as dd was often the only girl, or at least girls were in the minority, we saw things from the other side with some parents - about 'boys will be boys' type things. From whichever side it comes from - and ime it happens on both sides - it's all nonsense. They are all just children regardless.

I very much had the impression he’s invited because he has to be (DS can come if he really wants to) but I can see that’s perhaps misguided, its strangely worded though.