Should she replace it? Part 3

[Langarg]

I can’t believe we have a part 3 🤣 this has provided some lighthearted entertainment at a time where I’m feeling really let down by someone I considered a good friend. So thank you! I have posted an update on thread 2, will post it here also.

I have sent the following text message ‘Having reflected on what you have said, how the airwrap was lost/broken or otherwise is irrelevant. I considered asking you for pictures of the broken airwrap or asking to speak to your sister to ask her what happened but it will get us nowhere. All that matters is I am down a Dyson airwrap and I want a new replacement. You’ll need to either transfer me the £399 tonight to pay for this or purchase it yourself from boots and send me the email receipt this evening. You can then sort out with your sister whether she is going to contribute to the cost of it. We can then put this behind us’

I have no interest in maintaining the friendship after this for obvious reasons. I am worried that she’s seen the thread (how can she not have 🤣) and knows this fine well so will have no intention of replacing it sadly.

I don’t think I’ll ever get the truth (was there even a wedding at this rate?! 🤣) all that matters to me now is getting a replacement airwrap!!!!

if she'd immediately been honest, and said "I can't afford to replace it right now" but then offered solutions, such as a date when she WOULD be able to replace it, or offering to pay instalments, then I'm sure OP would be annoyed at the inconvenience, but accept that sometimes these things happen and the friend would put it right, even if not immediately.

it's the dishonesty and convoluted lies that makes this a big issue. she clearly doesn't intend to make it right, and was hoping OP. would just let it drop, as if it was, say, a £30 hairdryer/styling device, which most people probably would.

Bookmarking doesn't work for me The button is there but it doesn't do anything. The app (for me) is dreadful.

I've deleted it now and am just using the browser.

If be knocking on her door at this stage with my hand out.

Seriously??

Why do you regard making a court claim as "drama"? Have you ever made a claim? (It's usually people who haven't done so who are scared of doing so and think it's a "drama").
Of course there are things to be considered before starting a claim - primarily the respondent's financial position and ability to pay as it's disheartening to secure a CCJ but still not get paid what you're owed* - but if CF is working, the court could make an attachment of earnings order, or if not, most people have assets for EAs to seize to "persuade" them to pay up. If CF is so hard up, she would need to provide a financial statement (with supporting evidence) to the court for the judge to allow her to pay in installments.
OP would be claiming £500 plus court fees and Statutory Interest at 8% - so it would absolutely be in CF's interest to pay up before the claim gets to court as it would cost her less (hopefully the Letter Before Action would make her realise this).
It's worth OP getting a CCJ against CF as a matter of principle - even if she can't get the money out of her - because it will remain on CF's credit file until the debt is settled and affect her ability to borrow money (store credit, loans, mortgage, etc.). *This would be sufficient revenge for me, even if CF didn't pay up.

Well one thing is conclusive- the friendship is over. I had a 'friend' who borrowed my favourite necklace once and made excuse after excuse and never gave it back- granted, we were only 10 years old but regardless, it leaves a bad taste.
Yes she should have been honest and offered to replace it. Installments if couldn't manage the full amount.
Also- £500 on a hairdryer!!! Good gawd. (Sorry couldn't help myself.) But no real judgement- it's your hard earned money and I bet your hair looks better than mine!

Oh I saw a post on the “things your bought that are a bit shit” about spilling some wine on their air wrap and it not working anymore. Now I get it 😂😂😂

I agree when it's petty, trivial, spiteful gossip.

But this isn't gossiping about a friend overdoing it on a night out and puking in the street or going out in unironed clothes or not doing the washing up for five days.

It's warning people about a lying, cheating, gaslighting thief. Surely you wouldn’t also call it gossiping when people warn others about the latest convincing scam doing the rounds?

Well, if her only options are to merrily accept that she's been stolen from and laugh off her loss, take it to court for recovery of her goods/money or otherwise go to her house with a crowbar and a golf club and threaten her with severe injury or a trashed house if she doesn't pay up... I know which of those options I would choose.

And OP has in no way sought this drama; it's 100% on the thief. She could so very easily have returned the Air Wrap promptly or otherwise come clean straightaway about it being lost or damaged (if that's what did happen) and making arrangements to recompense OP. She didn't; SHE chose all the drama.

I have very thick, coarse hair and it has certainly improved it's condition, however it's not made it silky smooth like 'normal' hair. It's definitely improved it though.

I still run my Straighteners after to reduce the volume. But my hair is like a lions mane!

I don't use it to curl as my hair just goes further out when I do.

Damn this is getting messy. I don’t see the friend responding at all. What a horrible person

Neither of your suggestions are viable.
OP doesn't have the AirWrap and CF's DS hasn't responded to OP's VM or text (she's likely to ghost OP just as CF now has). We don't even know if CF's "my sister spilled wine on it and now it doesn't work" excuse is genuine or just her latest lie in a littany of lies If OP can't get the AW back to send to Dyson she can't claim for a repair under their two-year warranty, can she?
Assuming OP has Contents Accidental Damage away from home cover (not everyone does) she could claim if the AW had been accidentally damaged when in her possession away from home, but it wasn't - she wasn't even there. So she can't claim on her insurance either (and, hopefully by now, you realise your suggestion for OP to lie to her insurers, thus committing fraud, is an appalling idea).
As things currently stand, OP sending CF a LBA is the only sensible course of action - followed up by a court claim if CF doesn't find her moral compass and settle this dispute.

husband will probably say "oh, she got one as a wedding present/christmas present"

then she should have said so, and talked to OP about how they can resolve it. not immediately, but at least show willing to replace it, even if it takes a while.
and, of course, been really really apologetic.
most people are reasonable, and know accidents happen. it's how you act afterwards that makes all the difference.
I couldn't magic up £400 on the spot, but I'd arrange SOMETHING. even if it takes a few months

I wouldn't say anything to anyone - for now. I'd wait until I'd got a CCJ against CF as absolute proof that my version of events is truthful (CF has already shown she's capable of spinning this situation to try to make herself look like the victim). Then I'd send a link to the record of judgment to friends explaining what's happened and the lengths I've had to go to to get CF to do the decent thing, and they should think twice about lending her anything as they could find themselves in the same position. No gloating or gossiping - just a factual account of what she's put me through and how she can't be trusted.

Thanks for the update OP. Gutted at the way you’ve been and way you continue to be treated. As many others have said basic decency as accidents do happen would gave been for your ‘friend’ just to have been honest, offer full repayment (even in instalments) and to keep you in the loop. That would show genuine remorse and respect. You shouldn’t have to keep chasing. Not right or fair way your ‘friend’ has behaved. Just remember you’ve done nothing wrong. Seeking MN support completely understandable. Most of us have at times been soft to our detriment or experienced sh*tty or shady people so probably that’s why we empathise so much. Really hoping you get a good outcome. To those citing they are bored 😑… it’s not about you and you don’t need to comment or follow. Waste of a response those daft etches…

The friendship is over.

Send one final text advising if funds don't reach your bank account by close of business on Monday, you will begin legal action via Small Claims Court on Tuesday.

Then ignore any further communications.

This is a good idea. I wouldnt do it personally - because if it were me (and I have been there in a similar situation) I just wanted to put it behind me and no longer think about it. Thats why the small claim works because you do your bit then its out of your hands. If the OPs CFer friend is anything like mine, she may rally the troops, spread a pack of lies, and poor OP will have to keep defending and explaining, defending and explaining. And it will go on and on and on. Even with the CCJ!

You could of course just say you arent discussing it for their sakes because you dont want to draw them in, but just send them the CCJ (are you allowed to do that? Isnt it against the law to reveal court documents??), but not enter into any more discussion.

I may be projecting but its happened to me twice - with exDH and with a very close friend, - both spread a pack of damaging lies about me, and I still think silence is golden. I did consider just sending the DVO that my ex admitted to with his statement on it admitting all his physical abuse, but was told by lawyer that that was against the law.

Anyway, waffling now...just my thoughts OP in case your friend starts a smear campaign. She sounds the type tbh.

You have to send a letter first, keep a copy and have it recoded delivery.
call it notice before action and give her a deadline of what exactly you want and by when . This notice will be part of your evidence for court.

"... but just send them the CCJ (are you allowed to do that? Isnt it against the law to reveal court documents??) ..." No, court judgments are a matter of public record (even if a judge has placed reporting restrictions on some of the details). 😊

Oh is that right? My DVO was in Australia, and all the court documents for that and family court documents it was very very strict that we werent allowed to share any of it with anyone else. If we shared them we could be in big trouble!

WellsAndThistles · Today 14:53

The friendship is over.
Send one final text advising if funds don't reach your bank account by close of business on Monday, you will begin legal action via Small Claims Court on Tuesday.
Then ignore any further communications.

dancingdaisies

This.

@dancingdaisies No, not that. OP has to send a Letter Before Action (not a text) laying out the court claim she is proposing to make, what CF can do to resolve the matter to avoid being taken to court, and drawing her attention to the Pre-action Protocols. This is a crucial step in a court claim process

Yes, but I'm talking about the judgment, not the details/documents of the case (as in "Justice must not only be done, but must also be seen to be done"). 😊

It's a costly item and the "friend" has not returned it, a new one, nor reimbursed OP.

"Friend" has already lied multiple times and implicated innocent people with her lies.

Tough for "friend". She shouldn't have been a lying thief.