To sleep with a 25 year old

[Lolalovestheflowers]

I am 43. After a very unhappy marriage that ended two years ago I feel I have finally found myself.
I have lost a lot of weight over the 2 years, got my friends and social life back and a good job I'm in a good place.

A couple of months ago I was out with some friends for a girly night, meal cocktails and onto a local pub.
We were having a great night and I was enjoying having fun.
A young man approached me that evening and started chatting me up, I had a giggle with him amd I was flattered but I said look your way too young for me as sweet as you are you surely must have many young women after you and no I'm out with the girls.
We both laughed , said nice to meet you and me and my friends moved onto the next pub.
Since then I've bumped into him in the local village I have recently moved to at the local shop. You would have thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't we smiled said our hellos , were polite, and went our own way.

He then sent a friend request on fb , I declined it. He then messaged me on fb asking to go for dinner. I ignored him initially.
One evening after a glass of wine I replied and said again you seem lovely , however your too young for me , take care.

On the 21st Dec I was out in local pub celebrating my best friends birthday , he walked in with a couple of friends near the end of the evening , he came over and said hello, we were all quite drunk by then and I must admit I was flattered he was flirting with me.
He said have you recently moved to the village i said yes and we then both realised we are actually neighbours.... 6 doors apart.

End of the night came and we both went separate ways and said goodbyes
My friends said there was a massive chemistry between the two of us and although he is young he seemed a nice, respectful guy

Since that evening we gave msg back and forth a little. Things heated up last night and he wanted me to meet him out.
He's saying I'm not too young for you , please just give me a chance.
I declined as I was staying in.
I really do fancy the pants off him, I know it will be nothing but a physical thing if I ever decide to meet him
However I can't help but feel it is morally wrong?

Opinions please
Tell me to sort myself and move on if you like, I'm all ears 😂

I live in a small cliquey village (hence the name), and yes everyone gossips, but also who cares and it’s all forgotten about the next time Bob from down the road posts on the village Facebook page about some shit or other.
my best friend also live in this ridiculous village with me and she’s 43 and single and I’d tell her to go for it! You’re both single and doing nothing wrong!
you sound fabulous to me I’d go for it. Time to live a little.
my dads wife is 17 years younger than him and it’s never bothered me in the slightest! Nor have they ever had comments about it.

This is coming from a bit of a stiff op but I would go for it! You sound lovely & totally self aware!

i’ve never had a ONS but I remember being early 30’s & having a 23 year old guy (amongst others) come back to my flat &’crashed at mine in my bed at the side of me (nothing happened, despite him trying) & the next morning I was keen to get rid of the people that came back & he said “I’ve text my step dad & told him I’m staying here for the day” 😱 I was life, wtf! It took me ages to offload him, endless messages, sending flowers etc so please be clear with him🤣

Really? You were in your 20s and just had lots of casual sex with men in their 40s? So you didn't know if they were married, had kids? Basically no interaction other than sex? Not sorry to say I don't see this a valid point at all.

Of course having sex when single no harm done, hope was protected sex. I would personally like to know a bit more about them.

And actually I've had a pretty wild past, at times more than one a night, but they were my age ish and was safe sex.

Acceptable to who?

And why does this who get to decide what is acceptable and what isn't? And on what basis is it determined?

Again-two full adults, both consenting-why would that be taboo or gross or wrong?

Why are you assuming they weren't single, or strangers, or that I did this a lot? Unprotected?

Don't worry, I enjoyed shagging men my own age too 👍

Lol, as magnificent as some are, it's more about foreplay. Am I right?xx

No.

Just literally on what you posted. No more info given, just you slept with older guys and I'm sorry to have assumed it was unprotected. It did sound from your post you did this willy nilly (excuse the pun).

I apologise 😔 sorry for misinterpretation. Xxx

I’m 18 years older than my DP. He’s 32, I’m 50.

My DC are 15 and 19 so he’s not close in age to them. He doesn’t want children.

What started as a casual fling five years ago has carried on, although we both joke that it’ll never last. In my experience, age is no indicator of maturity. I’ve dated 50 yo men who acted like children. DP is emotionally intelligent and very easy to communicate with.

Go for it OP! You only live once and you never know what the future will hold.

Nothing wrong with having some fun. All relationships carry risks.

Surely the age of everyone having to know everyone else's business must be on the wane, the old busybodies and gossips have social media to keep their snouts occupied don't they!,

Genuinely though, I wonder if the age old parochial village attitudes will ever evolve..

Do it

I get what you’re thinking because I’m 33 and I’ve dated a couple of 26 year olds and even that gap seems huge to me, and we were born in the same decade!

Why would you be unhappy? Surely him being happy, should make you happy!
My ds (29), is engaged to a 44 year old, with 3 children. She was worried how I would feel about her, but she is absolutely lovely, and I often go out for coffee or lunch with her. Of all the girlfriends he has had, she is by far the nicest.

I see no dilemma here... you're single, he's hot and clearly into you. As long as you're safe, I see no harm in two consenting adults having fun.

As they say: 'It's better to regret the things you've done, than the things you haven't.'

He clearly doesn't think so...

Are you joking? She's 43... not applying for her bus pass!
And so what if people talk!? We really need to stop giving a shit about what others might think or say. You've got one life: live it!

Good for him... and good for you!
OP - please stop selling yourself short. He'll be lucky to have you - and seems he knows it!

I really really wouldn't do this. I might if I was on holiday or something like that but not with somebody who lives six doors away and who will have immature friends who will want all the gory details. You still have to live in that village after having sex with him. I wouldn't want to be the talk of the place.

Who gives a shit what the neighbours think!?

It does scream desperate to me. I can't really understand in my head what a women in her 40s would want with a 25 year old, it's a bit weird in my opinion

@Jumpingthruhoops she has moved into a village. She has to think about what the neighbours think. If she wanted to live in an anonymous kind of life she shouldn't have moved to a village.

OP it's a very heavy feeling when you lose a lot of weight. Don't get carried away with yourself!

I would also like to add, I would say this exact same thing to a man, it's weird. Go for someone your own age, young guys will always chase older women, 9 times out of 10 so he can go back to his mates and laugh about it. A man or a woman wanting to do this, it's weird

No she doesn't AT ALL. People need to learn to mind their own business.

And as for telling OP not to 'get carried away with herself' for losing weight... if I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous.

I mean, who wouldn't want to be in their early 40s, in great shape, attracting the attention of men in their 20s AND with the confidence not to care what people think of her!? Sounds pretty ideal to me.

My (childfree) friend had a similar gap with a BF a while back - started as a bit of fun then he moved in. It was never serious - and she never expected anything from it. They had a ball for a while but after 6 or 9 months or so he cheated on her with a girl his own age, and moved out - which was a bit cringe.

She wasn't upset about him, but the scenario was slightly embarrassing.

You live close enough that he needn't move in. I'd say - absolutely do it, as long as you are 100% sure it's just for fun, and make sure everyone around you both knows that!