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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To sleep with a 25 year old

568 replies

Lolalovestheflowers · 01/01/2025 20:28

I am 43. After a very unhappy marriage that ended two years ago I feel I have finally found myself.
I have lost a lot of weight over the 2 years, got my friends and social life back and a good job I'm in a good place.

A couple of months ago I was out with some friends for a girly night, meal cocktails and onto a local pub.
We were having a great night and I was enjoying having fun.
A young man approached me that evening and started chatting me up, I had a giggle with him amd I was flattered but I said look your way too young for me as sweet as you are you surely must have many young women after you and no I'm out with the girls.
We both laughed , said nice to meet you and me and my friends moved onto the next pub.
Since then I've bumped into him in the local village I have recently moved to at the local shop. You would have thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't we smiled said our hellos , were polite, and went our own way.

He then sent a friend request on fb , I declined it. He then messaged me on fb asking to go for dinner. I ignored him initially.
One evening after a glass of wine I replied and said again you seem lovely , however your too young for me , take care.

On the 21st Dec I was out in local pub celebrating my best friends birthday , he walked in with a couple of friends near the end of the evening , he came over and said hello, we were all quite drunk by then and I must admit I was flattered he was flirting with me.
He said have you recently moved to the village i said yes and we then both realised we are actually neighbours.... 6 doors apart.

End of the night came and we both went separate ways and said goodbyes
My friends said there was a massive chemistry between the two of us and although he is young he seemed a nice, respectful guy

Since that evening we gave msg back and forth a little. Things heated up last night and he wanted me to meet him out.
He's saying I'm not too young for you , please just give me a chance.
I declined as I was staying in.
I really do fancy the pants off him, I know it will be nothing but a physical thing if I ever decide to meet him
However I can't help but feel it is morally wrong?

Opinions please
Tell me to sort myself and move on if you like, I'm all ears 😂

OP posts:
JHound · 02/01/2025 20:50

Firefly1987 · 02/01/2025 20:01

Where are all these plenty of men available? Probably divorced with loads of baggage if there are any single ones.

Yep - I was wondering that. I OP’s age and rarely come across single men my age. And the few times I do they tend to prefer to date women younger than them.

If her and this young guy click she should go for it.

Alconleigh · 02/01/2025 20:55

I now want you to OP just because of some of the mad, bitchy, misogynistic, horrendous comments you've received on here. It conjures up a row of Les Dawson bosom huffing battle axes talking over the fence about some woman who's "no better than she ought to be". Only more toxic than that. Ghastly.

Errors · 02/01/2025 21:04

Alconleigh · 02/01/2025 20:55

I now want you to OP just because of some of the mad, bitchy, misogynistic, horrendous comments you've received on here. It conjures up a row of Les Dawson bosom huffing battle axes talking over the fence about some woman who's "no better than she ought to be". Only more toxic than that. Ghastly.

It’s very judgey. I also don’t understand the ones that say that they wouldn’t do that means that the OP shouldn’t.
Im 2 years younger than OP - so around the same age. Only ever dated one guy younger and that was by 6 years. I’ve recently had a fit 27 year old sniffing around. I was flattered, of course but it was a firm no. Not for me. BUT I’ve been egging the OP on because she WANTS to and why not??
Who knows, maybe one day I will allow myself to be seduced by a younger guy 😂

RavenhairedRachel · 02/01/2025 21:10

Go for it

AlphaApple · 02/01/2025 21:11

His behaviour, as you described it, is a little odd. I would worry that he's being egged on by mates as a kind of joke. I don't mean that to say he wouldn't be bloody lucky to have any attention from you OP, it's just that he is being very persistent for someone who doesn't really know you.

There was a similar thread recently where the OP was being energetically pursued by a very good looking guy. It went quite sour quite quickly IIRC.

Errors · 02/01/2025 21:14

AlphaApple · 02/01/2025 21:11

His behaviour, as you described it, is a little odd. I would worry that he's being egged on by mates as a kind of joke. I don't mean that to say he wouldn't be bloody lucky to have any attention from you OP, it's just that he is being very persistent for someone who doesn't really know you.

There was a similar thread recently where the OP was being energetically pursued by a very good looking guy. It went quite sour quite quickly IIRC.

Can all of the nay sayers who are calling it gross and grim and saying the OP is a skank please take note of this reply…
This is, in my humble opinion, a nice way to word your caution whilst still being respectful to the OP. Not a hint of bitterness or jealousy and while I am team ‘fuck the 25 year old’ I can respect this poster’s opinion

Deeperthantheocean · 02/01/2025 21:17

Can you describe him in a bit more detail? Yes meaning ethnicity. In no way racism at all, just experience, men having their own business, marry and next thing disappear from your life and bring over own family.

Anyone who wants to jump me for this, as I said, I only asked. I have friends who have suffered brutally at being seduced by younger men from other countries. Xxx

Justontherightsideofnormal · 02/01/2025 21:19

I am about your age and my son is about his age. It’s weird for me but only because if this.
it sounds like he is seeking you out rather than vice versa, only you can make the decision 🫣

DisabledDemon · 02/01/2025 21:22

Nothing morally wrong at all. My concerns would be that if it all ends unpleasantly, he's practically on your doorstep and is he discreet? You don't want to be the subject of ribald discussion for him and his mates.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 02/01/2025 21:24

JaffaCake70 · 02/01/2025 20:08

You were 18 when he was born.... this fact is all it would take for me to say NO!

Same here. The double standard is quite something having seen so many threads over the years saying an age difference like this is not acceptable when it's the man who is older.

Deeperthantheocean · 02/01/2025 21:27

TENSsion · 01/01/2025 21:18

I used quotation marks to indicate this would be what a 25 year old would consider to be old.

Yes it is! A younger friend who was 24 said he had even shagged over 30 year olds. Clearly a huge age disparity. This man may for real and I hope so, usually not unfortunately. IME it's been for another reason, not personally, but to good friends. They have fallen to it, got infatuated and married, then gone. These were all to immigrants and yes I'm feeling the comeback but it's true.

I am the least racist person you could ever meet, all I care about is how kind anyone is full stop! X

skyana · 02/01/2025 21:35

If a man can go for someone half their age, so can a woman.

Dotto · 02/01/2025 21:38

Deeperthantheocean · 02/01/2025 21:17

Can you describe him in a bit more detail? Yes meaning ethnicity. In no way racism at all, just experience, men having their own business, marry and next thing disappear from your life and bring over own family.

Anyone who wants to jump me for this, as I said, I only asked. I have friends who have suffered brutally at being seduced by younger men from other countries. Xxx

Was it flattery that blinded them to this well-known scam?

OP only wants a bit of cock, not marriage, however

pineapplesundae · 02/01/2025 21:41

Just be mindful of what he may say to his friends. He may have a bet with someone that he can bed you by a certain date or something like that. Move forward, have fun, but tread carefully. Don't get YOUR feelings involved.

JHound · 02/01/2025 21:42

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 02/01/2025 21:24

Same here. The double standard is quite something having seen so many threads over the years saying an age difference like this is not acceptable when it's the man who is older.

Depends on the ages involved. If the guy was 18 and she was 18 years older I would tell her to leave well alone.

But he’s 25.

JHound · 02/01/2025 21:43

Deeperthantheocean · 02/01/2025 21:27

Yes it is! A younger friend who was 24 said he had even shagged over 30 year olds. Clearly a huge age disparity. This man may for real and I hope so, usually not unfortunately. IME it's been for another reason, not personally, but to good friends. They have fallen to it, got infatuated and married, then gone. These were all to immigrants and yes I'm feeling the comeback but it's true.

I am the least racist person you could ever meet, all I care about is how kind anyone is full stop! X

She has said it won’t be anything serious.

HAPPYNEWYEAR2025 · 02/01/2025 21:46

Does he live with his parents?

Deeperthantheocean · 02/01/2025 21:49

JHound · 02/01/2025 21:43

She has said it won’t be anything serious.

Of course you say that, reality is different. X

Errors · 02/01/2025 21:51

HAPPYNEWYEAR2025 · 02/01/2025 21:46

Does he live with his parents?

She’s already said he doesn’t

Dotto · 02/01/2025 21:53

Deeperthantheocean · 02/01/2025 21:49

Of course you say that, reality is different. X

You don't believe women are capable of genuinely enjoying no-strings sex?

Why?

I enjoyed casually sleeping with men in their 40s when I was in my 20s, no harm done!

Deeperthantheocean · 02/01/2025 21:54

Dotto · 02/01/2025 21:38

Was it flattery that blinded them to this well-known scam?

OP only wants a bit of cock, not marriage, however

Edited

Oh a bit of cock, with lots of compliments etc can woo a woman to so much more. Not me, just friends I've known to succumb to some good younger cock. Xx

JHound · 02/01/2025 21:56

Deeperthantheocean · 02/01/2025 21:49

Of course you say that, reality is different. X

I did not say that. She said that.

JHound · 02/01/2025 21:57

Dotto · 02/01/2025 21:53

You don't believe women are capable of genuinely enjoying no-strings sex?

Why?

I enjoyed casually sleeping with men in their 40s when I was in my 20s, no harm done!

Edited

Same! (As well as casually sleeping with men my own age too.)

Dotto · 02/01/2025 21:59

Deeperthantheocean · 02/01/2025 21:54

Oh a bit of cock, with lots of compliments etc can woo a woman to so much more. Not me, just friends I've known to succumb to some good younger cock. Xx

Beware the mystical powers of the mighty penis! 🤣

Literallywingingit · 02/01/2025 22:02

Life is too short, do it! 😊