To refuse to speak to this person until I receive an apology

[ToffeePennie]

This person has hurt me by slowly driving directly towards me whilst I was walking in a field, then hitting me. I clipped my right hip/knee and ankle on the car, but I did not report it as there were no witnesses and I was the only person injured (and my injuries were “brushed off” by the rest of my family as I was perfectly fine, apart from a few scrapes and bruises).
This took place at an event we attend locally about 4 years ago. I did not want to spoil the event for my children, but resolved that until the family member who hit me apologised, I would not speak to them, I would ignore them.
This person is elderly (90s) and their child is very aware and was told at the time. I was informed the person “is elderly and therefore we should cut them some slack, they probably didn’t even see you, or feel the bump of the car”. I firmly believe this takes the mick and they should have been told what they had done, if, they really didn’t know.
Said family member absolutely should not have been driving and a month after hitting me, they had another “little accident” where they drove into someone’s wall very very slowly and had their licence removed from them. So there’s not much more I can do about it. Note: this is not the sort of family member where I have any rights to intervene, nor does my DH.
However, being forced to be around this person over the festive period has made things more awkward again, and it’s now where I am pointedly ignoring them.
AIBU or Not?

I think when a wrong is not acknowledged it can cause it to be frozen in the body like trauma so to me it makes sense that you want it acknowledged and that you are struggling to get over it. If it had been acknowledged at the time and an apology given you wouldn't be even thinking about it today. However, it's clear you are not going to get it acknowledged by the relevant people so I wonder if you might think about a few sessions of counselling to help you move on.

This is on you, you haven't even told the person why you aren't talking to them which is ridiculous and at 86 and causing your minor injuries should have been made aware. The next little bump could have been much worse.

If you had told them the issue and the were defensive but expecting people to read your mind and throwing a stop isn't on.

You can't bring this one minor incident up with anyone, literally everyone else has forgotten about it. The time for action was 4 years ago. If you mention this yo anyone they are going to think you are absolutely off your rocker. If you need to talk it through with someone pay for few counselling sessions.

Light on info and heavy on the grudge. Someone is bored this NYD.

Indulge me, who drives electric cars round fields?

all I can imagine is an 86 year old burning a Tesla round a hay field. What am I missing?

Why is their child accountable when they weren't driving? I'm confused.

OP you say you were “perfectly fine aside from a few scrapes and bruises”.

You also say they deliberately drove at you slowly, although you didn’t see or hear them until you were hit. Did you have headphones in? I regularly walk in fields and would hear an electric car crunching over the ground.

If you believe they deliberately attacked you, then fine, I would never see or speak to them again. I would also have reported to police at the time. Otherwise I would have rolled it out as a regular joke. “Remember that time you tried to kill me Uncle Barry!”

Why didn't you report this to the police at the time?

You need to let it go. It was 4 years ago and you'll achieve nothing trying to get an apology from someone in their 90s who doesn't even know what happened.

Elderly relative hit OP with the car. Injuries minor and family brushed it off.

I think I'd be holding a grudge, too.

It must have been very scary being hit by a car, and i think I would feel very let down if my family didnt back me up by acknowledging the accident and looking after me.

You could at the time have spoken to the driver and made sure they knew they'd hit you and caused bruising, but you chose not to.

It wasn't their adult child's responsibility. They could have been nice about it but they weren't. Things like this are awkward and embarrassing for people to deal with and they often get defensive and just want to brush it under the carpet. It's not personal. It's not ok but it's all they are capable of doing, so there's no point waiting for them to be better.
You cannot have the outcome you want - ie for the driver and their family to be nice and take responsibility.

Luckily you were not seriously injured, it was you rather than your kids, and the driver soon afterwards stopped driving (probably in part due to the accident injuring you).

However, you have spent the last 4 years allowing this brief incident to hurt you emotionally, to take your energy, to spoil your enjoyment of family events. For how much longer will you choose to do this? The driver will die soon - will you still carry this after that? Time for you to choose how much you will let this affect you in 2025!

Some really odd family dynamics here!

this is not the sort of family member where I have any rights to intervene, nor does my DH.

What does this mean?

I agree that 4yrs ago & you said/did nothing at the time or since & they have now lost their licence then why say anything?

It will be minimised which will perhaps annoy you more.

Who forced you to be around this person?

Did they think you were a scarecrow?!
Sorry but 🤣 !

Does the 90 year old realise you've been ignoring them for the last 4 years?

I can’t believe the people on here who think someone hitting you with their car and not acknowledging it is the op being a drama queen?! WTF is wrong with you people?

@ToffeePennie id ignore them too. I’d bet my last fiver they know exactly what they did

Seems like a case of

Are you the same poster who is still upset with a comment a colleague made, 3 years later.

If not, look it up. You might make a new pal.

Oh my word, that's just 🤣

Holding a grudge like this is going to prematurely age you.

This is the sort of incident the producers of Clarkson's Farm would have killed to capture on camera.😂

Sorry OP but the whole thing is comedy gold.

A child?? What child??

I’ll file this under “how to make one’s life more complicated”.

So confusing!

Quite immature to demand an apology off a 90something year old. YABU. Move on.

I'm utterly confused. Why were you in a field alone with the 90 year old who knocked you over? Why are you holding a grudge against someone who is so old it's a blessing if they wake up in the morning? Why have you sat on what appears to be a total accident for 4 years.....?

The child who hired their elderly parent to assassinate OP.

Do keep up dear! 😝

Howling 😂