Breastfeeding comment

[PregnantAtLast]

I'm currently 2 months pregnant. Shared the good news with parents over Christmas, all lovely.

I told my mum I'd be breastfeeding when she asked. She said "Oh, will you be getting one of those shawls like your cousin had?"
(Basically to cover myself and the baby when I am feeding).

It made me feel really uncomfortable that she expects me to cover myself feeding my child in my own family home.

AIBU to push back on this and insist on feeding how I want to, or do I need to respect her wishes when I'm in her home?

Wtf, this is like me saying - sorry I am very offended and uncomfortable with the notion of you eating or drinking in my presence, would you please instead go hungry and thirsty.

It's insanity - we have them to feed babies, time for those who find it uncomfortable to accept that

Don’t mention it again, if you both continue to bicker about it until the baby is born your pregnancy will be very long.

Covers are rubbish I have seen loads of women struggle to feed their new babies with them on at groups and in hospital etc. obviously if it makes them feel comfortable then it’s up to them, but if we had a better culture where seeing a woman breastfeeding was as common place as seeing bottle feeding then people wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

If your mum wants you to cover up when you are there then it looks like you are barely going to be there in the first 3-4 months. She is obviously welcome at yours but you shouldn’t have to cover up in your own home.

Shawls are a waste of money, get a big muslin to keep in your changing bag, hand for a few other things as well. I can think of a handful of times where I’ve needed to use mine, and those are mostly down to wearing a non breastfeeding friendly top or dress.

Are breastfeeding women not allowed their own preferences about how, when or where to feed their baby? Or set their own feelings and sensitivities around how exposed they feel?

Your post is exceptionally rude and dismissive of a mother’s feeling about breastfeeding her baby.

You’re crossing a line making inferences about someone’s parenting because of how they choose to breastfeed. I’m sure you have no need to worry about @satsumaqueen’s child.

I'm insensitive? Good one. I'm not the one talking (99% of the time entirely erroneously) about breastfeeding being anything to do with having "tits out".

Of course all discomforts don’t have to be respected. How utterly ridiculous

Or “sorry I’m not comfortable with working with a gay person. ALL my discomforts should be respected”

Not to mention, I’m VERY uncomfortable with people who don’t like BF in public. MY discomfort should be respected. In a situation where someone doesn’t like BF in public - who wins?

Yes both tits completely topless in Starbucks. Obviously doing it for attention as was trying to make eye contact with everyone in the hope that someone would ask her to cover herself up, so she could start an argument. - no one batted a eyelid and left her too it and she covered herself up shortly afterwards.

How old are you? Because the way you are throwing your toys out the pram because someone has a different opinion to you seems more in kin with a 13 year olds reaction that what I said in my original comment.

I will just reiterate as you seem to have just pulled out the part to be offended by.

I literally said I have no issues with breastfeeding. I just personally don’t understand why anyone would want to get their tits out in front of people.

Just to clarify as you are clearly insufferable it’s okay for people to have different opinions. Not everyone has to be comfortable with people getting their body parts out. As long as the baby is fed, that’s the most important thing. If people feel comfortable doing it without a cover that’s fine, but it’s also fine for people to cover up if they want too. It’s called a choice and that’s the beautiful things about living in the UK, we have choices.

Why are YOU imposing YOUR choice…

Baby doesn’t choose where it is fed. The mum does. It’s not a question of being fed or not.

Your analogy doesn’t work again. Nobody is discriminating against anyone.

The other question was whether you feel it’s a win to breastfeed in your mum’s sitting room against her wishes and make her feel so uncomfortable she turns away from you or feels the need to leave the room.

What if their preference is “anywhere I like in any matter befitting my baby’s needs - meaning if a bit of breast skin is exposed then so be it”?

I remember BFing on a beach in a bikini, I just pulled the bikini bit down. It would have been a hilarious concept to cover up on a beach full of women in bikinis, topless, things etc but apparently it would be me who’s offensive 🤣

Would expect anyone who had such an over the top reaction to something as normal as breastfeeding to seek help for their issues tbh

@StormingNorman she doesnt offend me in the slightest.

She needs to take her own advice and reflect on how she is bringing up her children (especially if they are girls), because by the sounds of it, if they wanted to cover up to protect their own modesty, they wouldn’t be allowed too and would be forced to sit their in front of everyone feeling uncomfortable because mummy thinks it’s the best thing to do.

I don’t us stand what you mean when you say “I have no issue with breastfeeding”. Why would you? Do you think this makes you pro-women?

And frankly I don’t believe a word of these melodramatic stories only one type of person ever claims

I just personally don’t understand why anyone would want to get their tits out in front of people.

To feed their baby. Obviously
not everyone is a juvenile moron who sees “tits” as sexual

Not everyone has to be comfortable with people getting their body parts out.

True. But they also don’t have the right to impose those discomforts on anyone else.

As long as the baby is fed, that’s the most important thing.

Yet you’re against people breastfeeding under certain conditions?

I suspect there’s a lot of projection on here about people’s own experiences

Because it’s feeding a baby. It’s not an imposition or anything to be concerned about. It affects no one else unless they CHOOSE to be offended by something perfectly uninteresting and inoffensive

If someone said they don’t like your top, you are imposing your choice to wear that top on them, would you think “fair enough” or would that be rather unreasonable?

Nobody is discriminating against anyone.

Hahahahaha. Sure.
if you don’t think being a misogynist is discrimination I don’t know what to say TBH

The other question was whether you feel it’s a win to breastfeed in your mum’s sitting room against her wishes and make her feel so uncomfortable she turns away from you or feels the need to leave the room

My mum wouldn’t behave like such a dick. But yes my baby being fed would be a win. I’d think she was a pathetic weirdo if she turned away and would be very offended and embarrassed for her. And wouldn’t go back - which would be entirely her fault. In fact I’d be tempted to say “I’ll be breastfeeding a lot, not here because you’re being weird about it, so I guess I’ll see you once I’m done with that just in case you get upset.”

Do you even know what a misogynist is? You clearly can’t read that’s for sure because nothing I have said is misogynistic in the slightest.

The fact you don’t think woman should be able to have the choice to cover up if they want too is far more concerning than anything I have said.

You claim to be a supporter of women and then insult their choices at the same time. Grow up! I genuinely feel sorry for any child you have raised. Hopefully you haven’t had any yet so you can spare them and their future partners the pain of your insufferable behaviour.

Same. And I’d avoid them like the plague. I don’t associate myself with half wits or sexists

Yep, definitely confirmed that you’re a half wit. Where on earth do you get such an active imagination 😂 my daughter will be raised to know that her mum isn’t a selfish weirdo and she can feed however she likes. She’ll also be raised not to pander to idiots with unreasonable discomforts at her expense

You are criticising how an individual chooses fo breastfeed and making unwarranted inferences about her parenting. It was spiteful.

Good lord. We’ve had Muslim, black and now gay. What next?

Of course you are. You can’t even say “breasts” in relation to breastfeeding and sexualise women’s bodies when they aren’t using them in a sexual way. Thinly veiled misogynist if ever I saw one

supporting women doesn’t mean never ever calling out sexism and stupidity.

Oh no you feel sorry for my child waaaaaah 😭 😭😭😭😭 oh wait…I don’t care. I don’t need the validation from a sexist who has the maturity of a rather stupid teenage boy thanks. But I’ll be sure to pass on your concern, my kids do enjoy a good laugh 👌🏼

And yet, not ONE person had answered to say this is a valid discomfort. Just women. Just women’s bodies, they’re fair game but nooooo none of your are misogynistic 😂

You respect her wishes in her home. it’s up t9 you what you do outside of it, but if she wants you to wear a shawl and you don’t then feed the baby in another room on your own

It’s her home and she sHoyle not be made to feel uncomfortable. Whilst I accept it’s a normal th8ng for mothers to do I don’t want to see anyone breasts as they feed

Who has criticised how a woman chooses to breastfeed?

Unless you have the reading comprehension of a woodlouse, you must know nobody has said “All women should breastfeed in public with their breasts out”. In fact most of us has said it should be about choice.