To think of you're going to answer questions with "yeah.." or "no...." At a social event, then fuck offfff

[fanaticalfairy]

Why bother coming out to meet people if you can't even engage in basic conversations with people who are all there to get to know each other?
We were out for a birthday brunch this morning with about 20 people, some we knew, some we didn't as it was for a mutual friend (Graham)
Me .. spying someone unfamiliar at our table..."hi, I'm Fairy, what's your name?
Him: "John "
Me: "great. How you know Graham "
John: " through a friend, Steve"
Me: "oh, yes I know Steve, he's lovely, how do you know Steve?
John" work'
Me: "So, what do you do with Steve?"
John: "Software engineer"
Me: "great what kind of thing? Im a software engineer too..."
John: "Nothing interesting....'
Me: "Oh... Ok. So ... Got any holidays booked?"
John: "No."Tumble weed

"Ok, lovely to meet you ... I'll go and see Graham is okay "

Ugh

Gosh, why are you interrogating people? Do you have no social skills at all?

Maybe he doesnt want to talk to random people ?

Also - IT people, not the chattiest, thats why we go into it

Maybe stop with the Spanish Inquisition?

I knew you would get responses like this.
Interrogation?
It's called conversation.
Not on MN though where everyone us terrified of speaking to strangers and hates everybody.
I agree with you, OP.

A birthday brunch is not an event where people plan to get to know each other. It's an event to celebrate Graham. Based on your interrogation tactic, I am not sure I would want to engage in a conversation with you either.

OP you are definately not being unreasonable. People like that are everywhere, just don't bother talking to them, give them a wide berth.

Sometimes, if Im feeling brave, I ask them "is there anything you'd like to know about me?" and they always answer no! It's bizzare!

Sounds like hard work, but Software engineers tend to be on the more introverted, quieter side? Maybe more interested in observing/listening.
If you like lively back and forth, you'll have to move on to another personality type.

That's only like interrogating because of his responses. They were leading questions that would normally result in a proper conversation. I think the OP was conducting herself correctly in a social setting

It wasn't a networking event, tbh I find those sort of social situations (birthday etc) quite hard work having to "chat" to people I'll, in all likelihood, never see again.

Why do you go to them then?

Asking what you do and how you know the host is perfectly ok.
Jeez! 🙄
However, I dont bother with socially anxious people any more. After one blah response I go off and find someone more interesting.

That conversation would be my idea of hell. If I’ve gone to a brunch for a friend, why would I have to chat with others that I don’t know? Surely it’s sufficient for me to say hello but not have to keep replying to your questions?

I know what you mean, it's like pulling teeth. Some people either don't have very good social skills, suffer from anxiety or simply don't give a toss.

Gosh you sound like my worst nightmare and I'm a reasonable social kind of person!
You do realise don't you that not everyone is the same and some people suffer dreadfully with social anxiety but for one reason or another have to attend events like that
It's a form of mental illness, shame on you

You sound like you need to learn some ice breakers.

Interrogation?? No social skills? Are you all mental?

OP you were making conversation and he just wasn't into it that's all. He maybe doesn't/can't do small talk. I hate it but have become a master of it because of my previous job. I'm as antisocial as they come but you coming over to introduce yourself would have been lovely and we would be BFFs before the day was done 😁❤️

Edited for dodgy grammar

'No' would not be bizarre to me, I'd think you were very odd if you asked me that question.

At an event like the one the OP describes, I'd be attending because I want to celebrate Grahams birthday with him, not because I want to be interrogated by a stranger.

Yes why should anyone chat to people they dont know? We should all only talk to people we know for the rest of our lives. How dare a stranger chat to us?

Then tomorrow there will be a post on how raising a child needs a village but where is my village?

Maybe he was in a bad mood because he'd been dumped.
Maybe he thought you were trying to chat him up & wasn't interested.
Maybe he was feeling ill & couldn't concentrate.
Maybe Steve persuaded him to come and then abandoned him among a bunch of strangers.

I'm sure it was no big deal for you, as you knew most of the people there.

He didn't want to talk to you

It's lovely that you tried. I wish more people would try to engage with me like this.

Poor John. He’s there for his chum not to be interrogated by an annoying ‘fairy.’

I often feel pressured to go to events like birthday lunches but I really struggle. I am extremely anxious in those situations but I still want to be there for the birthday person. I would probably be like the person you are describing. I'd be polite and answer questions but I wouldn't really know how to properly make conversation.

jesus.. the poor man! just because you are full of confidence and happy to approach complete strangers and start an inquisition into their lives, doesn't mean everyone is like that!

back off, have a chat, and when its clear this person doesn't want to engage, move on!

Lol ... nothing wrong with 'making conversation' when you see a new face. I don't think you put him under any stress unless he's painfully shy. I feel your pain OP. I regret wasting my breathe on these poor people. They should just stay at home or face the wall 😅😂😂😂😂