To think of you're going to answer questions with "yeah.." or "no...." At a social event, then fuck offfff

[fanaticalfairy]

Why bother coming out to meet people if you can't even engage in basic conversations with people who are all there to get to know each other?
We were out for a birthday brunch this morning with about 20 people, some we knew, some we didn't as it was for a mutual friend (Graham)
Me .. spying someone unfamiliar at our table..."hi, I'm Fairy, what's your name?
Him: "John "
Me: "great. How you know Graham "
John: " through a friend, Steve"
Me: "oh, yes I know Steve, he's lovely, how do you know Steve?
John" work'
Me: "So, what do you do with Steve?"
John: "Software engineer"
Me: "great what kind of thing? Im a software engineer too..."
John: "Nothing interesting....'
Me: "Oh... Ok. So ... Got any holidays booked?"
John: "No."Tumble weed

"Ok, lovely to meet you ... I'll go and see Graham is okay "

Ugh

What's your problem, exactly?
😕

I’m introverted and anti social but these questions are normal. I would expect them in a social situation

How is it a good party for the birthday person if the guests sit alongside each other in silence? "Being there for them" involves creating a pleasant atmosphere fgs.

Awful. The world is full of drains and radiators. As soon as you sense a drain, scarper!!

Ok, so we should only chat to people we know. Got it.
If there is a Billy-no -mates standing by himself, dont talk to him or her.

Yep, it's my experience too. Because of too many experiences like this I have pretty much given up on social situations. I expend too much energy and get zero or very little back.

If life's taught me anything op it's that you can't please any of the people any of the time

No. It's not bizarre.

So you can't read the signs that he didn't want to talk with you ( or you talk at him)
You sound self important.

Worth remembering some people have been taught it's rude to ask questions and take this too far. I actually think people should be taught this stuff as it's awful to feel so anxious or so shy you can't say anything. Some can assume people are being hostile and rude where they might just feel cripplingly shy.

Those criticising the Op's approach saying they would be exhausted answering and would say too little or too much, don't mention the idea of asking a question back. That's the way each person takes a rest and allows both an opportunity to say something? It's really not about small talk being "interesting" of itself. It's about small talk being a polite way of sussing out some overlaps where you both can have a more interesting conversation potentially.

Fair enough @Gwenhwyfar , that is possible. Though I think if invited out to a birthday brunch most people would assume that there would be other people present, even if not knowing exact numbers.

The problem is, no opener is going to be successful unless the other person responds to it. Doesn’t sound like there was anything wrong with your questions- “how do you know Steve?” Or whatever can lead to some interesting places as long as the other person is willing to play their part.

My guess is that some people on here identify with the non-speaker, felt attacked and so have responded in kind.

You must be fun at parties.

Introducing yourself and asking his name and how he knew Graham is fine but I'd have stopped after that if he wasn't forthcoming. Why do you care what his job is?

Same. He didn’t seem particularly forthcoming so why continue asking and not move on.

My ice breakers are often genuinely complimenting people on what they’re wearing and asking questions and that tends to drift into other topics.

Such a tiresome comment

I don’t think your questions were rude, OP, but I do think it was rude to assume everyone was there “to get to know each other” and to say that people should ‘fuck offfff” and not go if they’re not prepared to make small talk, which not everyone is interested in or comfortable with.

They’re just being dicks. They’d give the OP a hard time if she was the man in this scenario posting. It’s their hobby as something’s missing in real life.

At a party:

What do you do?

I hang out on a mum’s forum and see if I can be the first person to reply like a twat.

There are multiple reasons why the bloke might have been unable to make small talk. But you did absolutely nothing wrong, OP. Ignore the loons!

Fuck off is a bit strong, I agree. I have begun avoiding drains

Icebreakers: complimenting strange men on what they are wearing won't go down well.

I’ve been to many birthday parties/ lunches and baby showers etc where people just seem to stay in their own groups of people they know.

He didn't wish to talk to YOU but you didn't pick up on it. That's on you not him.

No, that’s on him - for being fucking rude.

Meeting someone for the first time and asking them seven questions in a row from the outset is not making conversation. It is an interrogation.

Don't know but your title is grammatically very weird

It would have been a conversation if he had thought to ask anything.