To go off sick? Would you in this situation?

[Bhuwilo]

I’m exhausted. That’s it really. Have a toddler and dh works away in the week. I despise the nursery run as I also work full time and the whole process of getting dd ready etc and in the car is exhausting. I used to love my career. I just want a few weeks off. I don’t mean annual leave (can’t do that as don’t have enough) but I mean a few weeks off trying to meet everyone’s needs but my own. A few weeks of dropping dd then focusing on myself. I’m so burnt out. Is this reasonable? Have you done it or would you?

We work to pay bills. If we don’t work we can’t pay bills. However, if we don’t do the job that we are employed to do the company that employs us is less profitable and our colleagues have to cover for us. This builds up resentment all round.
Those of you who think it’s okay just to
throw a sickie or two need to grow up. If you can’t manage all the pulls on your time then you need to re-evaluate and decide what needs to change.
I feel for you; I really do but I am afraid that you are an adult and you need to behave as such. Sickies are not the answer unless you are genuinely unwell.
The country’s economy needs to grow which means that we all have to pull our weight or we are collectively doomed.

I look back and wish I'd taken sick leave on a few occasions but I always powered through and it was very detrimental to my mental and physical health.

I would put in a sick line for a few weeks and ask the gp for blood tests as low b12 may be causing extreme fatigue. I pushed through so much I wasnt functioning on a human level. Remember no one here knows what you are dealing with or how you are feeling. Working FT with a young child at home must be exhausting but rule out potential medical causes.

Also as others have suggested, the economy and your colleagues/ workload arent your problem. That's why you have a right to sick leave, it's to keep people in work longterm to help you get healthy and come back.

Look up empathy in the dictionary.

We don’t live to work.

I wouldn't take time off sick. Many women have a lot more to deal with than one toddler and a full time job, and I think it's unfair to let others at work work harder so that you can relax. Is it possible to buy in more help at home? A babysitter for a couple of evenings a week? Can any relatives have your child for a day at the weekend?

What about your husband? Why can't he take time off so that your burden is lightened?

Take some of your unpaid parental leave?

Do it. I took three weeks off for burn out at the start of the year and it did me the world of good. A week self certified and then the GP signed me off for two weeks. They offered to sign me off for more but I declined. Sometimes it’s the best thing you can do for your physical and mental health. Because let’s face it, your work couldn’t give a monkeys about your health provided you show up and do your job.

YABU. It’s not your employer’s responsibility to pay for you to be a SAHM. If you can’t cope with the daily grind of parenting and working then you and DH need to work out a solution between you.

Manage your life. You allowed to tane upto 4 weeks per annum parental leave. Apply and take it.

You must be a baby boomer as this sounds like something my dad would say.

Being burnt out is being “genuinely unwell”, just mentally. It’s far better to recognise this early on and do something about it than keep going, totally burn out, and have a complete breakdown.

Your employer couldn’t care less about your physical or mental health, so unless you look after yourself, no one else will. I like my colleagues but honesty don’t think of them for a second when I’m not there. Colleagues aren’t your friends and neither is your manager.

Take unpaid parental leave. you have 18 weeks to us until the child is 18, max 4 weeks per annum. You are tired but you aren't ill. This isn't what sick leave is for. Maybe see the GP to get checked out.

why should your work basically supply you with paid time off to look after a child you chose to have?

i think you need to look at the bigger picture, reduce your hours, change your nursery reduce your workload at home etc.

take unpaid time off, parental leave etc but its not fair to abuse the sickness policy of your company. think what would happen if everyone did it?

I say just because you can’t see your illness doesn’t mean you’re not sick. Your mental health is so important. If you don’t take a break of some kind soon your mental health will make you by giving you burn out.

Get signed off or take parental leave for two weeks and decide to do things differently on your return.

‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.’

Well respectfully, if the OP is facing a breakdown just because they're adulting like many many people do for years on end, then they need more help than a couple of weeks off sick as that's not normal. Most people are exhausted and stressed, me included, but I wouldn't have the cheek to tell my boss that I was being signed off sick for it as I'm not sick, there's just a lot going on! I just crack on like most of the population.

Exactly.
And again - apart from the ear bashing, would anyone finally tell me HOW did people manage in the past???

Good job we are all very different then. The suck it up and get on with it attitude really isn’t helpful.

This is what unpaid parental leave is for.

People rarely take sick leave for things that are the fault of their colleagues tbh.

Neither is the fold at the first challenge like a delicate flower attitude, to be fair!

You have no idea how old that poster is.

To the OP - I agree that if you're feeling on the edge of burnout you need to address that before it gets worse but I also agree with posters who recommend that you develop an action plan going forward. Just taking a few weeks off isn't going to be enough on its own.

They claimed "bad back"! Mental health is just the current version.

Or they took their annual leave and had a holiday when they needed a holiday......but OP doesn't want to do that because she doesn't get enough.

It might be worth speaking to your GP as there could be more going on here.

i was signed off for severe work related stress a few years ago and when I could see some of the signs popping up again this year, I spoke to my GP, and my manager recommend that I take a week off sick (self certified). Before I left, I sent an email explaining that I'd sought medical advice and outlining a couple of adjustments I felt would be helpful (this was all linked to one piece of work for me, and I'd been raising concerns for months). I used the time to go away for a few days and really focus on how I could adapt to what was going on. Easier said than done! I set up some mindfulness routines for myself (MH nurse advised) and decided to invest in some coaching for myself. These are all big luxuries to try and handle one specific instance, but I'm sharing as an example of how you could use time off as a bit of a reset, and how you could approach it professionally.

Good luck, I hope you feel things improve soon.

It's not something I have done, nor would I do it.
I'm sorry things are hard, but it might be worth looking at more of a long-term solution. What about a nanny or au pair instead of nursery?

You have not mentioned any problems at work that are contributing to your struggle. You should not go off sick due to your issues at home.

Drop down your work hours and reduce your outgoings if you need to.

Oh and whatever you do, don't add to your numbers! It only makes everything harder.

What would you do when the sick leave is over? You’ll still have a small child, a busy job, and a husband working away. If it’s too exhausting you need to make long term changes.