Being woken up at 5 am when not going to work

[Eightiesprincess]

I'm very confused right now and wondering if I actually am being unreasonable. My Partner wakes up at 3 am for work (usually 2 alarms later ) goes downstairs then comes back up at 5am to get dressed and go in doing so walks into the bedroom bangs on the light and proceeds to have a conversation with me. This morning I suggested that there was an argument that he could have put the lamp on rather than the main light to which his reply was there is an argument that you could get up and use the day.
When I stated I was off work and on holiday he tore into me telling me I was entitled and ungrateful.
Am I ? I had simply planned to get up at 7 and start the day.

If you got this far. Thank you 🙏🏻

TBF I don't think the 2hr "me time" is what's bothering OP - it's the fact that he seems to go out of his way to wake her up too and then berate her for not getting up at the same ridiculous time. The irony is OP wrote "He watches YouTube videos and games on this time saying it's the only time he can do it in peace before everyone gets up." Maybe OP should start getting up at the same time for a few days and go clattering about in the room where he's enjoying his "peace" watching YT - see how he likes it.

My husband has to get up at 5am.
He puts his clothes, deodorant and toothbrush etc in his office the night before so he can slip out and get ready without disturbing me.
There’s no reason for your partner to do this to you except out of spite or complete disregard.

Excellent choice of words.

If he's up at 3.00am then he must got to bed about 7.00pm then? Do you keep as quiet as a Churchmouse so to let him sleep? You deserve the same respect. Otherwise....
Why not piss about noisily in your room until your bedtime. See how helikes that.

Presumably he goes to bed early then? So what happens if you come into your room at 10pm when he’s sleeping, turn on the overhead light and perform an extended bedtime routine of tooth brushing, makeup removal, PJs, stretching etc? Would he be being entitled and ungrateful to you by asking you to refrain as this is his sleep window? Explain to him that people are “entitled” to have different sleep windows, especially when it means one of them doesn’t want to get up at 3am when on holiday. The reality is you’re being reasonable and he’s being selfish, resentful, spiteful and contemptuous.

You could tell him that there is a cheese grater in the kitchen. He could go downstairs and use that. (He knows what part you’re referring to as well)

absolutely - I have to get up very early for work sometimes. I have alarms on my phone that range from 0230 to 0430. But I have never once forgotten to be a decent human being. I get up quietly, get dressed in the bathroom and leave with minimum noise or fuss, whatever the hour. Even if I have got the wrong tights or whatever laid out, the most I'll do is creep back into the bedroom and use the phone torch in the drawers to get what I need.

Thank fuck you're not married so can easily bin him. What a selfish twat he is.

Waking me up at 5am for a “little chat”? FML noooo appalling behaviour. He’s a selfish arse.

My abusive ex did this. How is the rest of your relationship? Also being able to sleep until 7am isn't even a lie-in especially at this time of year.

He sounds awful. Selfish prick.

This is abusive. NO WAY would I stay with a dick like this.

I've read an alarming number of posts on here recently detailing men that are deliberately waking their partners up during the night and early morning.

Basically they don't give a shit about their partner being well rested for the day , they clearly don't care about their partner's health. It's disgusting and definitely a reason to leave them.

Time for seperate bedrooms. Or give him the heave ho.

When I stated I was off work and on holiday he tore into me telling me I was entitled and ungrateful.
Am I ?

No you are not, not in the slightest. How the actual fuck can he accuse you of being entitled and ungrateful for having to wake up, presumably, at 3am and then again at 5am just because he has to go to work?

I would suggest to you that it is he who is entitled and he is deflecting this back onto you.

What time does he go to sleep at night? How would he react to your waking him up two hours later for a 'little chat'?

I'm guessing he wouldn't take kindly to it.

The early morning is not a morally superior time. Particularly not that early.

It's also your time before your day starts.
He's being a complete prick.

3am is not an early rise, that's middle of the night!
I'm an early riser, up at 5am and wouldn't dream of waking the house. I use that time for family admin not gaming or YouTube. It's grossly unfair to class early risers as twats, most are considerate of their loved ones sleep needs as this thread proves.

@Eightiesprincess
My final LTB for 2024.

My infant woke me at 5am today. I fed her she went back to sleep. I think she stayed up, there were happy noises coming from her bedside cot when I fell asleep but unhappy noises didn't start till 7 when we both got up.
No one starts the day at 5 unless they have to.

So now you know he's a spiteful, selfish arse @Eightiesprincess , what are you going to do?

He gets no say whatsoever about when you get up on your time off work. He's totally in the wrong.
My husband often gets up very early for work- he sorts his clothes the night before and puts them in another room so he doesn't wake me.

well give. she’s been with him for best part of a decade, i’m guessing there’s quite a story behind this relationship

and yet it still staggers on as so many relationships in mumsnet seem to do

and it will no doubt result in another thread in the very near future

Awwwwww, poor baby, wants you to get up at 3am with him. Joker lol, tell him to grow up.

Whether you have to get up or not - putting the main light on straight away would really make me cross. Sounds like a twat.