It's too late, right?

[TrackDay]

I'm 40. DH is 52. Happily married for 15 years, childfree.

Hormones have hit me like a freight train - I want a baby.

It's way, way too late, right? It's just hormones. It'll pass?

It was too late for me starting TTC at 34. You don't know until you try

However I would urge caution. ExH went along with it after 8 years of marriage because I wanted it, and the strain of it ended our marriage. No husband, no child.

Sometimes the biggest regrets are missed opportunities and what you didn’t do 🤷‍♀️

Fuck it, you only live once. Go for it.

It might be too late but it might not, everyone’s fertility is different.
Have a fertility scan and start trying but try being realistic and accept it might not happen

What the fuck is wrong with having an autistic child?? You are so unbelievably ignorant it’s laughable

Tricky question as it's not easy to seperate the urge from the wishes; I think DH would be an awesome Dad, and it'd be lovely to have a little family unit.

There's lots a great community where we live, mum groups, fabulous schools, we could offer a great life. I'd love to help nurture a little one to become the best 'them' they wanted to be.

Unconditionally, always there for them.

It's strange, I feel like this person exists and I'm just waiting for him/her. Is that hormones?

My mum was 37 and dad 51. Do it if you want a baby! Xx

If you are still having periods, you can have a baby

This is a very simplistic take on it.
My periods have been regular my whole life. They still are at almost 44. I ovulate every month. I have not been able to have a baby.
I had my first (accidental pregnancy) miscarriage at 28 years old. Actively tried to get pregnant from 39-43. Had 3 more miscarriages.

The fact is you can’t know you can have a baby until it actually happens. It may in theory be possible if you ovulate and your hormones are correct. But for some people it just never actually works.

I think it depends on what the man is like in himself. My DH is very fit and active at 55 whereas some 55yo men are like old men already iyswim. There's many 70yo men out there who aren't doddery pensioners

With all due respect you don't know what your husband will be like at 70, statistically, health issues are more likely to occur 50+. Life can change in a minute, at any age, but much more likely 50+.

I had my son at 40. No mothering desire before then, but then hormones/need, it hit me like nothing else. It was a joyous thing. His dad is only a year older than me so slightly different but if he's going to be a great dad and onboard, that's all that matters. My son is 20 now, ibeautiful, funny, clever and the best thing we ever did. We had all the 'age related' scares. Good luck! X

Personally I don’t think so, but I would sit with the feeling more and see how you feel in a month or so’s time.

@TrackDay No. That's the feeling that drove me to have both my kids. It was a bumpy road, but it was all worth it.

Absolutely nothing. But there's a lot wrong with not being prepared for the effort and heart break of trying to support them through an under resourced school system. And needing the energy to help them navigate friendships and jobs. So as I originally said, people need to be informed when deciding to create a life to make sure they can 100% provide the love and support they need.

Sorry just seen op you've been married 15 years. I really think you need to ask yourself why it has taken you both until now to consider it, having a baby isn't jsomething that just occurs to you, most of us are thinking about it in some capacity from the moment we start puberty, I don't believe it's something you just don't consider.

You're doing yourself a disservice to dismiss what has been a 15+ year deliberate choice to not have children to suddenly upend that at a time it is frankly far from ideal to have a child when you've had the opportunity for much longer. I understand women meeting men later in life, but that isn't your story, especially considering your husband's age.

I know three people who had their first on their forties. All fine and pretty much trouble free pregnancies. In fact the 44 year old had no pain relief at all and gave birth at home.

You need to consider those things to be a parent in any case, at ANY age.

you are so ignorant and your attitude to disabilities is abhorrent.

It’s actually not that unusual anymore. I'm 42 and have a 7 month old - it’s absolutely not too late.

Nobody can know this for sure until it happens. There is no certainty, everyone just does the best they can. Nobody sits around planning for every possible disorder their child could possibly have and how they’d cope. You just don’t know until you are in the situation, you can’t ‘prepare’ for things that could possibly go ‘wrong’.

Is it heck late, my sis was nearly 42 and had baby not planned. The apple of her, mine and her grans eye. Single parent but dad involved happily.
it’s all down to whether you fall pregnant or not at this age….

In case it helps anyone: miscarriages in older mothers can mean low progesterone. If this is the cause, mothers may be able to carry pregnancies to term with progesterone supplements. But you have to ask and push for this.

This too.

I had my third child one month shy of my 42nd birthday. Conceived naturally .

Similar age for me and DH for your youngest (of 2) and so far so ver good. 🤞

I say go for it. Lots of men in their 70s are fit and active. In many ways having DC later in life keeps you young and connected in to younger people.Your child will love your dh because he is Dad, not judge his age.
It also sounds as if you can afford to have some help in the mad early years.
I had my DC at 38 and 40. It was tiring but I have friends of many different ages and feel younger than my contemporaries who are grandparents.

only you can answer the questions about your hormones. Can you picture yourselves at your child’s graduation/ first house etc 21 years down the line?

you could also look into adoption, you have a great community and could make a huge difference to a child’s life