It's too late, right?

[TrackDay]

I'm 40. DH is 52. Happily married for 15 years, childfree.

Hormones have hit me like a freight train - I want a baby.

It's way, way too late, right? It's just hormones. It'll pass?

I had this strange feeling when I was pregnant with my daughter, that she was already here and waiting, even down to what her name was. I had never wanted a child and was 40 when I had her. She is nearly 12 and I wouldn’t be without her. Not too late.

I had my 4th baby at 42, if you're both in agreement and you're otherwise fit and healthy, go for it

What did you decide in the end, OP? How are you feeling six months down the line?

Time flies!

DH & I talked and talked; in the end we both decided that, for us, it's just too late to start a family.

We do have a wonderful life, are very lucky, and I haven't regretted it for a moment (so far at least) I do wonder if hormones were at play.

I don't think my age is 'too old' as such but more that our specific set of circumstances along with DH's age meant that it wasn't the right decision to try.

The thread really helped put all thoughts and points onto the table, I appreciated everyone's input very much.

Fair enough, I have to admit I was secretly hoping for an announcement but you feeling content with your decision is (nearly) as good. 😁

I'm going to read all the comments
I've been feeling like this on and off for about 18 months 🤦🏻‍♀️

I do have a history of recurrent miscarriages so that's adds another layer of complications

I had mine at 42 and 44. DH was 48 and 50. Where we live it’s really common, almost all the women I met when DCs were babies were in their late 30s and early 40s. In fact I have not met any women who had babies in their 20s at all! I find it so odd that anyone could think that someone in their 40s, 50s or 60s couldn’t cope with child rearing. We are definitely fitter than we were in our 20s as we take care of ourselves.

Of course, there are real issues with declining fertility and increase in the number of potential conditions that a child could be born with. You do need to consider this. However, there are no social or cultural factors to worry about imo or any sense that someone in their 40s or 50s couldn’t cope.

Do some respite foster care- if you like it , give it a go.

This is true. I had IVF starting at 34 and was told at 39 that I didn’t have enough eggs left. However my pituitary gland continued to flog my dying ovaries for several years after that. Had regular periods until 45 when they started to peter out and was 50 when I had my last period.