It's too late, right?

[TrackDay]

I'm 40. DH is 52. Happily married for 15 years, childfree.

Hormones have hit me like a freight train - I want a baby.

It's way, way too late, right? It's just hormones. It'll pass?

Not too late at all, my friend just had her 2nd and 3rd at 41 and 43.

They do. I could give you many examples just from within my friend group.

They really do, within my friendship groups it's very common, much more so than in their 20s.

To be fair you sound like you have more energy than most 40-50 year olds. I don't see myself doing a triathlon, an hour of brisk walking is good enough for me:). You're probably fitter than I was in my thirties as well tbh.. You have everything going for you to be great parents and if you feel that it's right then go for it.

I had my youngest at 42 and my husband was 48. He’s just turned 12.
Its not too late for you, if that’s what you want

I met my husband age 24, married age 34, first child I was 38 and second age 41. I believe in what’s for you won’t go by you, do what’s right for you and your husband.

Well I think you're too old and I also think you're husband is way too old...but it's none of my business.

Maybe adopt a couple of kids!

Absolutely not too late at all. Had my first child at 41 (almost 42), considering trying for a second. Lots of friends have kids older than mine of course but I feel like it's given me the opportunity to learn from them and I feel much more chilled as a parent having done so....a lot less beating myself up about stuff as I saw them do that and felt it was undeserved and they were doing an amazing job, so I tell myself the same.

If you decide to go for it, good luck x

Why too late?

It is your story. As long you are healthy and your hubby as well…so predicted to still be around another 40 years at least…why not?

It will be desperately tiring and also very very life changing of course so measure that.

Good luck op 🌺

I used to think this but not at all! Me and my 2 siblings all had DC in our 40s, plus several friends. Our parents assumed they wouldn't be grandparents but magically all 3 in the same year! Xxx

I met my husband when I was 38. When I was 40 we decided to try for kids and I got pregnant the first month I came off the pill. I had a trouble free pregnancy and my beautiful daughter is now 14... However it was too late for us to have any further kids.. we tried but it didn't happen for us.
So definitely not too late, but I would get going!!
I also know someone who has just had their first child at 49 (assisted pregnancy), with husband in their fifties. A much longed for child, and I know they will be amazing parents.

I had a male coworker who had a child when he was 50 years old. He loved his kid, of course, but he said : " it isn't a problem to have a baby when you are fifty, but it is a problem to have a six-years-old when you are fiftysix". His son could easily outrun him which had caused some dangerous situations. My coworker would quite like to have a nap in the afternoon but his son no longer needed afternoon naps so he couldn't. My coworker was tired all the time and his wife, who was in her late thirties, had no compassion for his tiredness.

If you get pregnant now, your husband will be 63 when the child is 10. It is unfair to both of them.

My DH and I have a couple of friends who lost a parent when they themselves were teenagers. It caused them a lot of problems. It is easier to handle when you are an adult.

Add to it that there is a significantly increased risk of genetic issues when both the parents are old. There is also an increased risk of schizophrenia, bipolar ( bipolarism?) and autism.

Completely understand your concerns, but please go for it. A child who will be loved for most of their lives. X

It may be too late, but probably not, so I suggest you have the chat with your DH ASAP.

No it’s not too late at all! My friend had a baby aged 44 after years of trying to conceive including two years of ivf. They decided to adopt a dog and she got pregnant!

I had my youngest at 40 I didn’t feel
any different to when I had the other 2 (big gaps)
Anyway I asked a doctor a while before I had him what they really think is too old, first she said ‘if you want a baby you want a baby’, then I said go on just say, and she said ‘42’

Paternal age effect is as real as maternal age. It’s less talked about but my husband did his PhD on it and there are chromosomal abnormalities that are more likely the older the father. So you’d want to get tested when you are pregnant to be prepared if there are issues.

I don’t think I could have a child at 53 though even if I wasn’t primary care giver. I wouldn’t want to die before I met my grandkids or while my own kid was a teenager. It puts more pressure on a child to become a care giver too if they haven’t had their own family when the parents need help.

No it isn't mad! I had the same at 40 after an MC at 39 and just had the all consuming feeling that I wanted baby so so badly. Here I sit, 41, celebrating NY with my 4 month old boy. Pregnancy was smooth, luckily. Recovery also fine
It has been such an enormous blessing.

I thought of a plus. My dc has a friend who's parents were similar (his dad was second marriage with grown children but same age gap with his 2nd wife). Nice thing for their dc was that his dad took early retirement at 60 and became the sahp when dc started school. Worked well for his parents.

Sorry his dad was 56

I had my 4th baby at 43. Had first at 31, 2nd 33 and 3rd at 37 xx (all natural!)

Needing a nap at 56 or not being able to run as fast as a six your old is not normal though, unless he had a health issue I can see why his wife was irritated.

Yes I think it’s adding on at least 18 years - plus they may stay in FT education to at least 21.

More likely to have health issues yourselves plus going through with menopause supporting a teenager.

You also don’t know how DH will be in reality, no-one really knows how they will adapt or not.

DH 63
Children 10 and 8