Should she replace it?

[Langarg]

My friend asked if she could borrow my Dyson airwrap for her wedding as money was tight and she couldn’t afford a hairdresser. It was a small wedding with only her, her DH and two witnesses. I reluctantly agreed (bit of a people pleaser).

The wedding was two weeks ago, we exchanged a few messages back and forth the day after her wedding. A few days later I asked if she could please return my airwrap and she didn’t reply. I messaged again saying I really need it back as I don’t have a hair dryer anymore and solely use this to dry/style my hair and she eventually replied saying she accidentally left it in the hotel however the hotel are claiming it wasn’t left there.

She was very apologetic however didn’t offer to replace it or give me the money for it. I raised this with her and explained that I shouldn’t be left without my airwrap or out of pocket for her mistake and she said that she couldn’t afford to replace or give me the money for it. She then sent me a link to a post on Facebook marketplace of someone selling an older model for £150 and said that if I buy that she can pay me back in 3 monthly instalments.

I don’t want to accept this because firstly why should I be out of pocket £150 and risk not being paid back and I don’t want an older model when I had the newer one which cost me nearly £500 less than a year ago.

I explained this to her and she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt. I feel awful but I really don’t know what to do?!

Please give me some advice…

YABU = buy the £150 older model and hope she pays the 3 monthly instalments
YANBU = accept her offer of her buying a replacement on her credit card

Yeah she needs to replace it with a new one. The message above is also a good one to send

Hmm... well, yes... however, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, OP. It's clear you've done it out of the goodness of your heart in this case because it was her wedding. She needs to pay you back, but a valuable lesson not to do it again; or, dare I say it, trust her with anything again. If it were me, I'd be cutting ties after this is sorted, personally.

Ah, some learning them for you, but she should still replace exact model. It’s not like it was a really busy wedding either…we’re you even there?

I think I’m going to need bite the bullet and send this message or similar.

I do wonder if some posters may be on to something and she’s maybe kept it for herself? I didn’t even consider this a possibility. Surely no one would be so brazen?!

That was my thought too.

I have a friend like this, very careless with other peoples stuff. I don’t even lend her a jam jar now

Ring the hotel yourself and ask...

Oh gosh…yes!

suspicious minds 😂

yes if it was left in hotel surely they would have it

I explained this to her and she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt.

Yup, that's what happens when you're careless with other people's stuff.

Don't be at all surprised if it suddenly 'turns up' now though.

I think you need to stop lending your stuff to this person - you KNOW she is careless or 'forgetful' about paying for things. So stop facilitating this.

she sold it. it's obvious. you don't just leave such an expensive item behind. Even if she did, it's not your problem. I would insist she replaces the model she lost. Can you go through the small claims court?

Do not accept the older model. She buys you a new one to replace the one she lost.

"Thank you, let's go with the credit card option. I appreciate that this puts you in a tight spot in the short term but I'm genuinely grateful to you for sorting this out so quickly. Happy to dig out the original receipt if you decide to file a police report against the hotel for refusing to acknowledge it was left there becauseig they don't t have it then its been stolen. It could also help if you are able to make a claim on your home or wedding insurance."

Basically the messaging should be I'm not backing down and will support you with your problem.

I think she kept it for herself. She needs to transfer you the £500

I hate to see the worst in people but is it possible she has stolen it? She might have loved it when she borrowed it and just couldn't resist keeping it and just hoped you would let it drop because it was her wedding? Either way she's cheeky as fuck and needs to replace it.

Five hundred quid for a hairdryer?! Fuuuuuck…I’m old 🤣.
And yes, of course she should replace like with like. No question.

Oh good idea it was only 2 weeks ago so you could say you are following it up @Langarg

I had a moment of madness after getting a bonus at work 🤣

She lost it she has to replace it

Tbh, the whole tone here sounds ridiculous. Absolutely no need for loads of exclamation marks, all caps, accusations and generally dramatic details.

Just stick to the facts and be clear in expectations.

This is a good message, I would go with something like this. You're not giving room for a reasonable argument against that plan.

I agree she's either sold it or trying to keep it and hoping you'll be uncomfortable enough to say don't worry about it now she's given you the lack of money sob story.

Left in the hotel, how convenient..... someone in the wedding party has nicked them.

Great idea! I will do

I also think the friend has kept this. You could verify this by ringing the hotel yourself to see if she reported it. You also need to insist on the friend replacing it with the correct model.

she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt.

So how did she pay for her wedding? Debt, savings or family gifts.

Debt- her choice, what's another £500.
Savings- she can save quickly so £500 no big deal in the grand scheme.
Family - her wedding was basically free.

Basically she has to absorb this as a cost of her wedding.

She asked to borrow it. She has lost it.

She has to replace it.