Our comfort chat turned into an ear slitting screaming session

[Bridget05]

Ok admittedly I'm possibly much older than you lot out there, so I might need to call a taxi but here goes.
It's just after Christmas and I live in a tiny village with one coffee shop. We attract loads of families walking on weekends which is fine. But of course the shop is heaving. Again it's OK.
My friend had an awful Christmas day with an adult autistic son, a missing pet cat = son meltdown and she just needed a shoulder. Could not go to either home as hers contains adult son, mine contains old husband watching Wheeler Dealers on full volume.
So we luckily find our usual table and get a coffee ....okaaayyy I had cake as well.
A group of grandparents, parents and a toddler arrive and sit next to us..still OK.

Now I fully understand toddlers are noisy, I get it. But to keep the already overexcited child entertained they then began an interminable game of peek a boo, who's got your nose, piggy toes etc, which then turns a chatty chirping child into a screaming harpy , creating such a noise that no one can speak. My poor friend was almost in tears from the stress.
Eventually I nicely said (yes I can do nice) that while everyone understands children's noise, could they please not add to it by encouraging her.
Seems walkers from the big city find it difficult to take polite requests. Enough said.
So AIBU to just expect a parent not to encouraging loud noise in an already packed out Cafe or us it open season on quiet breaks now.

Seems that 30% of people here think encouraging children to scream and cause disruption in a cafe is perfectly OK.

Thankfully 70% understand how to handle young kids so they don't ruin other people's afternoon treat.

What experiences am I projecting? I am simply putting myself in the op's shoes. I bet the op wasn't the only person in the cafe who found the excessive noise unbearable either

Can you really not see that sitting in the same room as someone's husband who cannot go into another room, may not be conducive to having the sort of chat the friend needed? It is a safe assumption though that a cafe, pub or other venue with seating and drinks would ordinarily be appropriate.

Your experiences of noisy children, which you have posted about on this thread!

The OP has not said her husband was incapable of moving into another room! Another ridiculous assumption. Of course having a friend over where you can control variables such as noise, is more sensible considering you cannot control the variables of public spaces - the OP already said it was a packed cafe at Christmas time! Naturally there may have been children or babies present, naturally they may have cried or been noisy. If this was going to cause such emotional upset then the sensible solution is to stay home, with guaranteed quiet and privacy.

There is no point in continuing this discussion.

That's a bit much.🙄

And I said the noisy child in question in my previous post was fine because the parents were not encouraging this behaviour. Unlike the caregivers in the op's situation. Hardly projecting. I used this as an example to distinguish the difference between parents trying to manage a child's behaviour and those who don't give a shit about others around them.

You are right. There is no point in continuing this conversation because you will argue until you are blue in the face that actively encouraging screeching over and above normal toddler noises is absolutely fine. 70 percent of voters don't agree with you so let's leave it at that.

2/10

Oh OP, you're on a 'hiding to nothing' with some of this lot on here; they're baying for blood, and anyone's will do! it doesn't matter if it was a screaming child that we're all supposed to find charmingly endearing, a constantly yappy dog that is never checked, or people so overbearingly loud that we all just have to stop our conversations and listen to them - it's ENTITLED people, living their entitled lives, that are basically saying to the rest of us '"f** you, I'll do what I want, regardless!" The rest of us have manners, and know there's a time and a place. It's a modern disease, and I see no hope.

Yes, you will continue to project and make assumptions whilst twisting my words so let’s leave it here.

Could not agree more.
Anyone who has had an anticipated cosy meal out for two, ruined by a woman with the shrillest laugh that she emitted every 2 minutes, lasting at least one minute....realises that some people just don't have the intelligence to know when they or theirs are being insufferable to the rest of the population.

On that occasion we simply ate and left....her piercing laugh still ringing in our ears.

I definitely think people need to be more aware of those around them. Interacting with a baby or toddler is great and completely normal. But I think relieving the child’s boredom by encouraging shrieks and squeals isn’t appropriate in an enclosed space. I lifted DS1 bodily out of coffee shops when he started to get loud and nothing was working. A quick blast of fresh air and change of scenery often did the trick, but not always. I now know he was probably overstimulated by the noisy environment and of course decided the best possible solution was to add to the noise😃 Thankfully his younger brother was too interested in staring at everyone and everything to remember to make any noise. But I don’t understand how people aren’t even a little bit embarrassed by the fact that they might be gettIng on other people’s nerves.

Sounds like heaven!