Our comfort chat turned into an ear slitting screaming session

[Bridget05]

Ok admittedly I'm possibly much older than you lot out there, so I might need to call a taxi but here goes.
It's just after Christmas and I live in a tiny village with one coffee shop. We attract loads of families walking on weekends which is fine. But of course the shop is heaving. Again it's OK.
My friend had an awful Christmas day with an adult autistic son, a missing pet cat = son meltdown and she just needed a shoulder. Could not go to either home as hers contains adult son, mine contains old husband watching Wheeler Dealers on full volume.
So we luckily find our usual table and get a coffee ....okaaayyy I had cake as well.
A group of grandparents, parents and a toddler arrive and sit next to us..still OK.

Now I fully understand toddlers are noisy, I get it. But to keep the already overexcited child entertained they then began an interminable game of peek a boo, who's got your nose, piggy toes etc, which then turns a chatty chirping child into a screaming harpy , creating such a noise that no one can speak. My poor friend was almost in tears from the stress.
Eventually I nicely said (yes I can do nice) that while everyone understands children's noise, could they please not add to it by encouraging her.
Seems walkers from the big city find it difficult to take polite requests. Enough said.
So AIBU to just expect a parent not to encouraging loud noise in an already packed out Cafe or us it open season on quiet breaks now.

Or the parents making the kid be extra noisy can avoid cafés so that they don't disturb other people.

mine contains old husband watching Wheeler Dealers on full volume.

Send him my way. I have 14 years worth in the planner to watch. Admittedly I've already watched most (if not all), but they are like a good book, worth a repeat visit.

Reckon I could change a head gasket after watching that lot.

Dogs? Not everyone has well behaved dogs. I was on a bus yesterday and there was a barking dog on it that wouldn't shut up.

Me too why didn't you tell him to shut up? Why do you reserve that for complete strangers?

I really don't get this "children are noisy, get over it" approach that so many people have today. I don't expect children to be silent, but I think a modicum of control in public places should not be too much to ask. Winding them up even further is just unreasonable. If I were looking for peace and quiet I probably wouldn't have chosen a cafe, but equally just because you love your little monsters children doesn't mean that we all do.

Cafés aren't public spaces, they're private spaces that allow customers. The manager should have had a word.

I'm not a fan of very loud children so it's not that part I'm struggling with, it's that OP had a home they could have gone to if she just asked her husband to turn the telly down, but then expected a public place to be more peaceful?

Was the toddler literally screaming? Or just excitable?

They're loud little buggers but we were all one once

Jeebus, that gif is awful.

People have forgotten how to behave in public. I was raised to be quiet in public, to talk in quiet tones and to try not to draw attention to yourself. A lots of (dare I say) young parents don’t seem to have had the same expectations and feel it’s acceptable to inflict their raucous behaviour on innocent bystanders. It’s a cafe, not the bloody Wacky Warehouse. YANBU.

OP it reads as though you genuinely believed you had more right to the care space than the "walkers from the big city". You don't, it's a shared public space and they had an equal right to occupy it with their young child. I'd have personally chosen somewhere quieter than a cafe which, by your own admission, was "heaving" on arrival if I knew my friend was in a delicate state. Like my own home, for example, in which I'd have asked my partner to either go out for an hour or two so I could chat to my friend, or at least to turn the TV down for goodness sake!

*cafe space

This is a good point

Yabu

If it was too noisy for you, take your coffee and cake to go and go somewhere else.

If there are people and young children in spaces, then it WILL be noisy. I think it’s UR to expect people to be quiet because you and your pal wanted a quiet chat. I get it’s been a stressful time but other people are out in spaces enjoying themselves.

They can play with the baby at home.

The OP could have had her cosy chat at home. Oh wait, it was too noisy there too.

I was at a zoo today and two 4 ish yr olds screaming and banging on glass at tigers.

Mum said nought!!!!

She can also talk to her friend at home.

You can't control who is out in public and what you're going to deal with. You can do that in your own home, all OP had to do was ask her husband to turn the TV down. Would have been less stressful for her friend I'm sure!

This.

Yes, it’s a shared space. Shared. Which means you be considerate that other people might want to socialise in it. Which means allowing them to have a conversation or hear themselves think.

Seems walkers from the big city find it difficult to take polite requests.

I do hope this means they told you where to get off OP.

Is this creative writing wannabe style of posting a thing now on here?

Why don't you get your husband to turn down the telly and stay at home? Half term isn't the time for quiet coffee shops

@GCAcademic
Sorry but parents interacting and playing with their toddler, engaging them in games, is not antisocial in my view. It's just a very normal parent-toddler interaction. If it caused me a high level of stress, I wouldn't choose to sit down and order coffee and cake in a place that was evidently "heaving" with families on my arrival.