Our comfort chat turned into an ear slitting screaming session

[Bridget05]

Ok admittedly I'm possibly much older than you lot out there, so I might need to call a taxi but here goes.
It's just after Christmas and I live in a tiny village with one coffee shop. We attract loads of families walking on weekends which is fine. But of course the shop is heaving. Again it's OK.
My friend had an awful Christmas day with an adult autistic son, a missing pet cat = son meltdown and she just needed a shoulder. Could not go to either home as hers contains adult son, mine contains old husband watching Wheeler Dealers on full volume.
So we luckily find our usual table and get a coffee ....okaaayyy I had cake as well.
A group of grandparents, parents and a toddler arrive and sit next to us..still OK.

Now I fully understand toddlers are noisy, I get it. But to keep the already overexcited child entertained they then began an interminable game of peek a boo, who's got your nose, piggy toes etc, which then turns a chatty chirping child into a screaming harpy , creating such a noise that no one can speak. My poor friend was almost in tears from the stress.
Eventually I nicely said (yes I can do nice) that while everyone understands children's noise, could they please not add to it by encouraging her.
Seems walkers from the big city find it difficult to take polite requests. Enough said.
So AIBU to just expect a parent not to encouraging loud noise in an already packed out Cafe or us it open season on quiet breaks now.

Interacting??
Obviously, people have different ideas on how to interact with their kids and grandkids in public places.
No one expects kids to behave like mini adults, but if they are being so disruptive they are encroaching on other people sat nearby (by screaming and running about, for example) it's time to leave and let them loose somewhere they can be free to be as loud as they like.

@NovemberMorn except they weren't running about were they? 🤔 And yes, interacting is exactly the correct description for chattering to your toddler and playing peekaboo so that they giggle. "Banshees" is a hyperbolic word added for dramatic effect, as per my point.

The interacting, according to the OP, turned a.. "chatty chirping child into a screaming harpy , creating such a noise that no one can speak" is surely more fitting to a banshee than a giggling child.

This is sort of what I wanted to say.

I agree toddler shouldn’t be encouraged or allowed to scream the place down.

But a public place is always got to be less within your control that your home, that’s just the nature of it.

Husband watching television seems such a silly reason not to be able to use your own home - surely he could be asked not to watch television for that period of time? Or go into another room?

If you just fancied the cafe fair enough, but you will then take the chance of not being in control of the environment.

@NovemberMorn that's just OP's description, and given her clear tendency towards dramatised descriptions (as shown in the ridiculous gif she posted), I'd be willing to bet that is not an accurate description and it was more in fact just a normal parent toddler interaction (or certainly would be described as such by many others witnessing it).

So parents get judged when their child has a tablet because the parents aren’t interacting with their child. A parent interacts with their child but gets told that it’s too nosy. What exactly would people like us to do with children when we’re in cafes / restaurants then? I’d really love to know

I kind of empathise but having been in a cafe with 4 kids yesterday and various other family members, I think you should expect a certain level of noise. I wouldn’t have wound up a youngster to the point of screaming, but we moved lots of tables/chairs so we could all sit together, it was probably very noisy, but it’s a cafe (ours was a very relaxed one), open to the public.

Apparantly all children should be banned from cafes/restaurants

Presumably you were not there, I know I wasn't. I am taking the OP's description of events as what was happening.
You are not, so no point in carrying on any discussion.

I wish I could say I was surprised but I’m really not

ok, my apologies for over reacting in that case, I read it in a much more unkind tone than the one you intended :) my bad

I think the way you phrased it sounds a bit off.

I agree it is oddly written, like an attempt at something.

The family sound annoying, and I think sometimes when relatives are uncomfortable together they focus onto children (or dogs) in a way that is awkwardly playful and painful to listen to.

But basically YABU to go out to a busy cafe a couple of days after Christmas and expect it not to be full of braying adults and overexcited children. Probably safer to invite your friend to yours and close the door or doors between the kitchen and the TV.

Edit: I’m talking rubbish

@NovemberMorn I'm saying OP is likely exaggerating, and using hyperbolic language to describe a fairly innocuous interaction that many of us wouldn't even give two seconds of thought to because it's such a normal occurrence in public spaces where children are. If OP didn't want to be around children or noise, then I stand by my original comment - her choice of a cafe that by her own admission was "heaving" on arrival was possibly not the best decision to make. But yes, either way we clearly disagree, so as you rightly say, little point continuing a discussion.

Christ. Is there nothing the posters on this site can't turn into a bit of casual and misinformed anti-Americanism? If you can read, you might note that the use of phrases such as '2 up 2 down' and 'a brew' place the OP firmly on your side of the pond.

Plus, Americans are generally less sour. Many actually like children.

Have recently experienced the same thing in several different places before and during Christmas. One was in a cafe with my teen sons, my sister and mum. We got together for a pre Xmas coffee and chat.

There were lots of children and families around us - fine. But one particular family had children talking in really loud voices, and everyone was having to talk over them. Instead of quieting them, the parents indulged them and talked even louder, so they were basically shouting and screaming at one another, albeit good natured. We could not hear ourselves across the table because “MILLIE WANTS A WEE WEE DADDY”… excruciating. Both my sister and I work with children so we’re not anti kids, just not at that level and to the exclusion of all else! We sat in silence until they’d left.

Similar situation on buses and in shops and restaurants over Christmas. Children yelling really loud, and parents indulging them and screaming louder over them. Just why?!

Bah humbug!

I'm with you! And I have 2 toddlers!

I can handle a noisy kid in a restaurant, but not a noisy parent!

I worked lunchtimes in a country pub, most kids were welcome, a minority of the parents less so.
They let young kids run around, scream, generally act like little savages, whilst they enjoyed their drinks and meal, oblivious of the way their brats were acting.

One doesn't have to be child hater to NOT want to have to put up with that whilst sitting in a pub, cafe, or restaurant.

I can relate to this. I accept that young children can be noisy and to an extent we have to deal with that. However, I remember once on a train when a mother and young child sat just opposite me and the child started shrieking in an excitable manner. An old man sitting near me then found it necessary to stimulate the child even more. When I started getting a bad headache from the screeching I moved into the next carriage and even the equivalent of one carriage length away behind two closed doors, I could still clearly hear this child. Fortunately incidents like this are extremely rare and the vast majority of parents are capable of keeping their children occupied without having them in training to be positioned on top of a lighthouse.

"Just why?!" Because too many people are thoughtless bastards and there are no consequences for being a thoughtless bastard, so why bother with the enormous and excruciating mental effort of having consideration for other people? This is why you get road rage, supermarket rage, pavement rage, any other type of rage you can think of, because someone has been pushed just far enough by someone else taking the piss that the volcano of frustration erupts. Being thoughtful on a population scale leads to a better quality of life for everyone even if individuals have to think a bit more.

Ideally just don’t take them in there in the first place 👍🏼

Most people look for a change of scene, some fresh air or just an escape from others at home for an hour or so after Christmas and that's perfectly fine. What isn't fine is unreasonable behaviour in public, lack of consideration for others using the same establishment and the mindset that what you want to do takes precedence over the wishes of others. All too prevalent these days and the entitlement is palpable in my experience. People need to have more thought for each other and how their actions impact others, especially at Christmas.

Don't be a dick.

It’s too late for that!

Ideally just don’t take them in there in the first place 👍🏼

Haha. As if.