Our comfort chat turned into an ear slitting screaming session

[Bridget05]

Ok admittedly I'm possibly much older than you lot out there, so I might need to call a taxi but here goes.
It's just after Christmas and I live in a tiny village with one coffee shop. We attract loads of families walking on weekends which is fine. But of course the shop is heaving. Again it's OK.
My friend had an awful Christmas day with an adult autistic son, a missing pet cat = son meltdown and she just needed a shoulder. Could not go to either home as hers contains adult son, mine contains old husband watching Wheeler Dealers on full volume.
So we luckily find our usual table and get a coffee ....okaaayyy I had cake as well.
A group of grandparents, parents and a toddler arrive and sit next to us..still OK.

Now I fully understand toddlers are noisy, I get it. But to keep the already overexcited child entertained they then began an interminable game of peek a boo, who's got your nose, piggy toes etc, which then turns a chatty chirping child into a screaming harpy , creating such a noise that no one can speak. My poor friend was almost in tears from the stress.
Eventually I nicely said (yes I can do nice) that while everyone understands children's noise, could they please not add to it by encouraging her.
Seems walkers from the big city find it difficult to take polite requests. Enough said.
So AIBU to just expect a parent not to encouraging loud noise in an already packed out Cafe or us it open season on quiet breaks now.

I get what you mean OP. I've seen my in laws do this to a perfectly well behaved child. Wind them up so much with the "games" they become totally overwhelmed which just increases the "games". I had to walk away it bordered on cruelty to me and then saying to the child to behave and be a good girl etc etc

What's wrong with the Gif? I cant see why it's triggering or anything else.

Not if the toddler can't keep quiet.

What has a sink got to do with any of this? Out of sync people please! What on earth do you think you’re meaning? You know what a sink is? It’s what the taps flow into in your bathroom.

What you are trying to say is that people have not synchronised with others. That’s what being out of sync means.

No need to be so rude is there

No. You anbu. Some people just have no thought, care or awareness for people/the environment around them. In a cafe/restaurant behave with manners. Sure entertain the children, have fun but just not loudly. And don't stick a bloody screen on full volume either. Full of self importance and ignorance are some folk.

Who is the monitor of what “normal noise” is? You and your pal? And WTF is a “comfort chat”

I sympathise with the way you are feeling but I think it’s just bad luck that the cafe wasn’t as quiet as you had hoped.
Heaven forbid they have fun entertaining their child. If the child had been screaming then everyone would be losing it because they can’t ‘control’ their child. If the child was sat in front of an iPad it would be ‘what terrible parenting allowing the child to use a screen’.
I think you just happen to choose the wrong cafe / wrong time for your chat. I don’t think they did anything wrong but it’s also a huge shame that you weren’t able to have the conversation you both needed. I hope your friend is ok.

You literally criticise walkers from the big city in your opening post 🤣🤣

Nasty.

I made that point 15 hours ago and less horribly.

Triggering? Really? Or made you a bit uncomfortable or upset? (Very different from being triggered!)
Massive apologies if it actually was triggering for you, I hate the word being used to describe a feeling that is more akin to being upset, since being actually triggered - eg survivors of sexual violence or other trauma being triggered into the fight/flight response when exposed to a triggering stimulus is so completely different from something making one feel a bit uncomfortable, upset or unsettled.

I actually think being triggered is potentially good.

It forces a personal confrontation.

You can't avoid shit forever.

I was actually 'triggered' by something once.

It sent me into a headspin that actually made me confront my rapes.

And then it wasn't so bad. I got to grips with it.

Triggers, might be ok.

I had a similar thing on a train. Paid for a first class upgrade as wanted peace to do some work. Family of - I assume - four grandparents or two and their friends plus one toddler did competitive/performative playing for an hour in the seats opposite me. The child was perfectly peaceful but the adults were a nightmare.

100% this. I’m guessing OP is a friend from across the pond? It’s a demonstration of why I could never live there.

Why didn’t you take a flask of tea and sit in a car then? Or get the drinks as takeaways and sit in a park? If you/your friend didn’t like being in there it’s on you to solve that, not others.

There’s a little area of Mumsnet known as Pedants’ Corner where you can quietly air your views on other people’s SPAG and thereby avoid outing yourself as a superior arsehole.

Context. Read the post. Friend may not usually react this way.
Did you get an empathy bypass for Christmas?

Trouble is, on pedant's corner, you are preaching to the converted.
Maybe a correction will save the person posting incorrect words some embarrasment IRL

@HoppityBun , look at your own posts before criticising others. Yours makes you look rude and barely literate.

I voted YABU but I would like to avoid both the noisy kid and the OP.

Well since you're a fan of pointing out people's mistakes @AsTheLightFades, perhaps I could take this opportunity to draw attention to your incorrect spelling of embarrassment. It could save you a red face - ya know - IRL.

Yes, I realised too late to amend!
Hoist by my own petard!

It's Pedants' Corner, because it belongs to all the pedants, not just to one pedant.

Well spotted @Sossijiz! Missed that.